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Apparently, both John, and Smit were more wasted than John originally thought. When Smit woke up in the backseat, he was a giggly mess, and according to Tyler, since John remembered jack shit about what happened, John wouldn't stop messing with Smit.

"Smittttttty!" John would call.

"Wut?" Smit would answer

"What if-." Before John even finished his sentence they'd both start laughing, and then the process would repeat.

Tyler said it was the most annoying shit he'd ever endured.

Honestly, John didn't give a shit. Despite Smit being ridiculously clingy, he had a good time. It wasn't that he actually minded Smit being that way, it just impeded his ability to socialize, and drink.

Which didn't really matter, he didn't like people all that much anyway.

When John woke up the next morning, that's when it came to bite him in the ass. He swore he didn't drink that much.

Smit didn't seem bothered when he called him in the morning to discuss getting their bikes back. Actually, Smit seemed great.

"John, why don't we call Swag and Eli, their off today." That was followed by a loud crash, and a characteristic "MOTHERFUCKER!"

John couldn't catch his breath for a second as he kept laughing.

"FUCKKK." Smit continued.

 "What the hell happened?" John said once he calmed down enough.

"My ravioli." 

"What?"

"My dog ran into me, and I lost my ravioli." Smit feigned sadness. "And the bitch had the audacity to eat it."

"Sounds like she stole it." John chuckled.

"YOU HEAR THAT!" Smit yelled at his dog. "YOUR GOING TO JAIL, BITCH." A bark could be heard, and Smit lost it.

 "Smit you're going to die of lack or oxygen, calm down!"

"I.." he wheezed in between, "cantttt!" He kept laughing, this time, maybe harder.

"Smittt! Don't die on call!" John tried to calm his friend again.

"Okay!" Another wheeze, "Okay!" It took a good minute for the laughter to fully die down. "I was serious about calling Eli and Swag."

"Didn't you say Swag was worse than Eli in terms of dumb, and dumber?" He'd get the point.

"Yeah, he's definitely the dumber, he's just calmer." Oh thank god, or whatever was watching over them on this cold marble.

"I don't think I could take another Eli, ones enough." John heard Smit scoff.

"I can agree with that." 

"Are Eli and Swag, like Eli and Tyler?" John couldn't help but ask.

"Nah, Dumbers quiet, Dumb is just dumb." Perfect, everyone definitely understood that.

"Makes sense." 

"It's basically a one way conversation when those two talk. Really, I'm just glad they get along." Valid point.

"Great, let's see how this goes."


It did not go good, but at least John's shiny Ducati made it home. First, the reason Smit had to call them both, was because they were having a two man party. They hadn't drank yet, so all was good. Next they suggested that Smit and John just backpack on their bikes, which meant John had to ride with Eli, which was a hell no.

Thief With A Bike ~ Krii7yWhere stories live. Discover now