Learning Curves: A Poetry Collection

Control

Sometimes I wish I wasn't so self-aware, wasn't so in control.
I want to scream and smash plates and Drown myself in liquor I swore I'd never drink.

I yearn for the blade on my skin, sweet blood flowing to my palms.
I won't do it. I'm too smart, too in control, too afraid.

I've seen addiction, I've felt its wrath
I've experienced the damage. I don't want to damage others.
I know it's bad to damage myself, But maybe I just need to not be perfect.

I need to let go.
I need to crack and break and die a bit inside.
Because I'm already dead and going crazy would bring me back to life. (Oct 2022)