Learning Curves: A Poetry Collection

Crushes

From five to twenty I've crushed hopelessly
Without it, I wouldn't be me
Here's a quick and funny story
It's cute, and nostalgic and a little bit gory

I forgot about the boy I married in kindergarten
We divorced in 1st grade in my mind
Because to another girl he was too kind
To tell him we were over I must have forgotten

First guy I was ever head-over-heels for
I saw on Bumble a year or so before
MILF-Hunter his bio says now
All I say to that is Wow...

Third boy's last name rhymed with a cheese
Not sure why I liked him but I was 13
Feelings faded when my mother died
I don't really care, no one lost any pride

Four was I guy I wish had never let in my life
Friend for three years then the friendship died
Led me on and hurt a friend
You can see why that one had to end

At fifteen another friend of mine
Only lasted a month and that was fine
Cried a little too hard for no reason
I guess that's all part of the growing season

No one mattered again until college
I spent high school focusing on knowledge

A young man was friendly
We spent a couple months growing close
We cuddled & he tried to kiss me
Just to admit a friend was all he sees

My first kiss happened before Halloween
A first date from an app with a stranger
Felt like it was stolen & lost meaning
Only one date, I said peace out, later

Only here do we find any real romance
A dude who was sweet and liked me back
Finally at eighteen I could dance the dance
Intuition and security back then I lacked

A month after I severed those ties
I dried my face and wiped away my cries
Went on a date with another guy
Kissed all night til I felt high

Summer brought a bit of a fling
A dude who was more avoidant that me
I read his mind and he said bye
Never minded, never saw him to marry

Alas we all have the one that'll never be
The one we shroud in our fake mystery
Call ourselves delusional just for fun
I'd rather him be a friend than make him run

Currently I feel content
Never thought I'd feel that sentiment
Not sure right now where my path leads
But I'll follow it blindly through the weeds
(March 14th, 2024)