Learning Curves: A Poetry Collection

Confrontation Scares Me

Communication is always key
Are the words that come from me
But boundary setting is terrifying
So these rules I keep defying

Too afraid of a reaction
I avoid more interaction
Don't want you to lose attraction
I say nothing with dissatisfaction

Sacred of fighting, yelling, crying
Thinking words will be ignored
Discomfort instead sends me flying
Losing you first I cannot afford

Break my own heart when unnecessary
Believe it's easier to feed you lies
Not telling you the true discretionary
Of what really caused my cries

I go home so forlorn 
Knowing pain could be avoided
Boundaries not set are mourned
Your ignorance I exploited

Away I go, abandoning
Those that may really be listening  
I crave them almost all the time
But I've already flipped the dime
Too stubborn to go back on my word
So instead of apologizing I write these words

Before I've been rejected
Certain things from me were expected
My needs were nothing worthwhile
Not deserving a pity smile

Always cast ideas aside
The runt of the group, forced to hide
Never told I could stand strong
My strength lies only in this song

I'm sorry I lied to you
My words were not the truth
I didn't want to cause you pain
And now no one has any gain

I just wanted a little space
Seeing you once a week
All desired was a longer pace
Less than three is all I seek

Things moved a bit too fast
My ex did this to me in the past
I wanted to take thing slow
To give us time to learn and grow

Coerce me into deeds
Was the way of my ex
I gave in to his greeds
But wasn't ready to have sex

I'm a virgin standing tall
Many walk away, it's true
I watch heartbroken as their faces fall
But no one wants to be with a prude

Asexuality is a word not known
An identity for me that fits
People hate this though it's shown
Because they won't get any hits

I didn't discuss this detail
Hoping it would come much later
Said too early and things would derail
You'd become an asexual hater

This poem is getting corny now
But hopefully you understand anyhow
It's time for me to take my bow
Goodnight, I end this tune with "Ciao"
(March 2024)