"Mujhe jhelna mushkil hai nader," she said with a smile while her gaze was fixed on the table.
("It's difficult to tolerate me, Nader")
"Main jhel lunga," I replied.
("I'll manage")
She looked up towards me, then continued.
"Mai khubsurat nahi ho...
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I was half asleep and wanted to sleep more, but her fragrance abruptly awakened me. It's the jasmine scent she always wears. I opened my eyes only to find her standing in front of me.
Before, when I closed my eyes, I used to see her, and now, even when I open them, I am seeing her. "Aziz, you're losing your mind," I told myself. For the past 24 hours, I haven't seen her, and now, she's everywhere I look.
"Pull yourself together, Aziz," I reassured myself, trying to convince myself it's just another dream of her, that she's not actually here.
But when I hear her voice and when she called me "bhegairat," all my doubts vanished. Is she really here in my room? If it's a dream, I don't want it to end because this is all I desire - her presence with me.
And if it's real, I can't even begin to describe how peaceful I feel right now, seeing her, seeing the woman I've always longed for.
I rose from bed and approached her slowly. She stood motionless like a statue, her cheeks turning into a shade of tomato with each step I took.
My "tomato" looked incredibly cute yet elegantly adorned in that blue attire - kurti, palazzo pants, with a loosely draped blue dupatta covering her head.
Her almond brown eyes avoided meeting mine, but they had a mesmerizing effect on my foolish heart, unlike her voice, which sent shivers down my spine.
How does she have such power over me? No one, absolutely no one, has ever dared to insult me or command me the way she does; she indeed rules over me, not by her actions but simply by her presence.
I was never interested in anyone or their lives, but she made me do things I never imagined doing. I still can't fully describe the feelings her presence evokes in me.
Having her with me is the most gratifying thing, the most precious possession I have, and I don't want to lose her.
She is precious, pure, serene; she is everything, she is my everything. I've never worshipped anyone in my entire life, but now I want to worship her, to keep her by my side.
As I passed by her towards the washroom door, I heard her call me "bhegairat." I felt elated, believing my "uns" was right there with me in my room.
I never imagined that getting caught in the rain could benefit me so much that Ms. Gusrail would actually come to my mansion to see me.
Now, I eagerly await another rainy day, hoping to fall sick again so she'll visit me once more. I might sound crazy, right?
I sometimes think so too, but I'm helpless; my heart is no longer mine. It doesn't beat for me anymore; now, it beats only for her - for my Gusrail "uns."
I gazed at myself in the mirror, then glanced at my wardrobe, pondering what to wear. She was here, and I didn't want to overdo it, lest she suspect I was pretending to be ill.
