sturniolo/nate imagines

⚠️suicide⚠️why-Matt

Y/N POV

I walk into Matt's house hopeful. I hope he will give me a good reason to live. I feel like no one wants me here, I hope he does. Lately, he's been canceling dates and on his phone more. God, I hope he's not cheating on me. But he would never.
I walk to his room, and he's laying on his bed on his phone.
"Hey," I said. He didn't look up.
"Sup," he said, sounding annoyed. I blinked the tears away and sat on his bed.
"What do you wanna do?" I asked,
"I don't care what you do, I got something to take care of." He said, getting off the bed and calling someone, walking out of the room. The tears fell as I walked out, driving home.
If he doesn't want me here, I'll leave.
I stormed in and went to the kitchen, I grabbed the biggest knife.
Should I really do this? Maybe he does care? I give him one last chance. I'll call him, maybe he'll convince me not to do it. I put the knife down and called him. After a couple rings, he hung up. He denied my call.
He doesn't care. Maybe Nick will. He's my best friend. I called him. He didn't answer. Fuck this. I threw my phone and grabbed the knife. I faced my wrist upward and hold the knife above it.
3, 2, 1.
I dug the blade into my skin, crying out I pain as I sliced. Going as deep as I could.
I did this over and over again, blood dripping onto the floor. I got dizzy so I set the knife down.
Then it all went black.

Matt POV

I've been planning to propose to Y/N soon. We've been dating for 5 years, and she's everything I want. I want to spent the rest of my life with her. I have the ring, but now we have a new project to work on. I can't find a free minute, and it's stressing me out. I have a plan in my head of what I want to do, but I can't put anything in place. I've been arguing with our manager on the day all week. I really want to do it soon, but I can't find a day.
"Hey," Y/N said in her sweet voice.
"Sup," I replied shortly, angry texting people. I have to do this over the phone.
"What do you wanna do?" She asked, sitting on my bed. I sighed, getting up.
"I don't care what you do, I have something to take care of." I said, walking out of the room. She can't hear the call or it will ruin the surprise.
I've been arguing for 10 minutes when I started getting another call.
Y/N? I declined her call. she's in my room. I can talk to her when I'm done.
After 15 more minutes of arguing, I have the date. The date I will make her mine forever.
I sighed, walking back to my room to lay in her arms. I walked in to find my room empty. Where did she go? I looked around the house and couldn't find her.
"Why did Y/N call me?" Nick asked, coming out of the bathroom, with his hair wet.
"Isn't she here?" He asked, confused.
"She was, but I can't find her." I said. Chris walked in.
"Oh, ya, she left like 20 minutes ago." He said.
"Why?" He shrugged. Why did she just leave? I frowned, walking back to my room. I barely got to see her.

(The next day)

I was in the kitchen alone, when I got a call. Y/Ns mom?
"Hello," I answered.
"She's gone," she cried.
"What? What are you talking about?" I asked, growing more worried.
"She wasn't answering my calls, so I went to check on her." She paused sobbing.
"She was on the floor covered in blood. She cut her wrist. She's gone. She killed herself."
My entire world crashed down. No. I can't live without her. Dropped my phone. My body shakes with my sobbs.
"No!" I cried, falling to the floor. She can't be gone. I need her. She can't be gone. Nick and Chris heard my cries and ran in the kitchen, kneeling next to me.
"Matt, what happened? What's wrong?" Nick asked.
"She's dead!" I cried, not wanting to believe it.
"Who?" Chris asked.
"It's all my fault!" I said, shaking my head.
"Matt, what happened?" Nick asked, worried.
"She killed herself! I could've helped her!" Nick grabbed my shoulders, facing me to him.
"Who?" He asked sternly, needing to know.
"Y/N! She's gone!" I cried, feeling nothing but pain. He let go of me, stunned.
"Why?" I cried, Chris rubbed my back, ignoring his own tears.
Why did she leave me?

(5 months later)

"Matt," Nick said, standing in the doorway. I have barely left my bed since  she died. I only get up to go to the bathroom and occasionally to eat.
"We need to film the video," he sighed. We haven't posted a single thing in 5 months. They deserve an explanation.
"I can't," I said, as the tears came back. I'm surprised I have any tears left at this point. Every time I think about her, it hurts so much. I can't stand to talk about that day. That was the day the world stopped spinning.
"Can we film it without you?" He asked.
I nodded, holding in my sobbs.

After they filmed the video, they posted it the next day. My phone was blowing up with support. But none of it mattered.
My girl is still gone.

(A year and a half later)

I sat next to Y/Ns grave, setting down the flowers I got her.
"Hey pretty girl. Today's 2 years, from when you died. I miss you so much. It's so hard living without you." I wiped my eyes.
"I've never told you, but I wasn't sick of you or something. I was gonna propose. The day you did it is the the day I set the plan. I still have the ring." I played with the ring on my finger. I got it resized so I could wear it.
"I've started going out more. Everyone thinks I'm better. But I think I'm getting worse. I can't stand this. I need you. Why did you do it?" I cried.
"You could've told me. I could've helped you. I wish you just talked to me. Then everything would be ok." I continued talking to her for hours. I need to see her. This hurts too much.
I took a knife to my room. I need her. I placed a deep cut in my wrist, watching as the blood dripped. I placed more and more cuts feeling dizzy. I smiled as I started losing consciousness.
I'm coming my love.