sturniolo/nate imagines

⚠️suicide⚠️overwhelmed-Nate

Y/N POV

Everything is so much. I do YouTube, and keeping up with posts is so hard, and I can't find a free minute to myself.
When I do, I spend it with Nate, I love hanging out with him, but I need some time alone.
I'm filming a video with the triplets today. Nates there too, he's been spending a lot of time with them because  I've been so busy.
"Hello." I said, walking in. They greeted me, and I stood next to Nate, grabbing his hand.
"What are we doing?" I asked. They explained the video and set up the camera.
"I'll be in Chris's room." Nate said, giving me a kiss.
"K," I went back, and we filmed the video. There were a few more arguments than usual, but nothing too bad. When we were cleaning up, I moved the camera so I could wipe the camera under it.
"Where the fuck did the camera go?" Nick asked, I turned around and saw him frantically looking for it.
"It's right there." I said, pointing to it. He sighed and grabbed it.
"Why did you move it?" He asked, looking kind of mad.
"So I could clean under it." I explained.
"You could've told me that."
"I just did." We continued arguing, and it escalated quickly. It was still one of our silly arguments, but i don't want to deal with this. Matt and Chris were just laughing and watching.
"You were just thinking of yourself! You're selfish!" He yelled. That hurt. He's called me selfish plenty of times. I know he doesn't mean it, but it feels different.
"How is trying to clean selfish?" I yelled back, hiding how hurt I was.
"You being alive is selfish! Go kill yourself!" He yelled, I didn't say anything thing back. He's also said that before. I have to. It's a joke and know that. Why does it hurt so bad?
I turned around and left. I can't be here.
"Love you!" Nick called after me.
I used the back door and walked around to my car, leaving. I couldn't keep in my tears as I drove.
I'm being so dramatic. Stop crying.
I bought the perfect thing for this.
It can all be over.

Nick POV

I smiled in victory.
We finished cleaning up and went upstairs to Chris's room.
I looked at nate confused.
"Where's Y/N?" I asked confused, she stormed off up here?
"What?" He asked just as confused.
"She got mad and walked away. I thought she came here?" Matt said, joining the conversation.
"She never came in here?" He said, sitting up.
"Where did she go?" I asked.
"Did she leave?" Chris asked. He looked out the window.
"She left. Her car's gone." He said. Nate looked kind of worried.
"Why did she get mad?" He asked me.
"We got into a stupid argument." I shrugged.
"What did you say?" He asked, taking out his phone.
"The usual stuff." I said, confused on why he's freaking out. He got up and left calling her.

Nate POV

Nick's an idiot. She's been so stressed lately. That was the final straw holding her together. I know when she breaks, she's gonna blame herself for everything, and something bads gonna happen. I guess there's no way he could know how bad she can get. She doesn't open up to anyone but me. Not even Nick - her best friend.
I called her again as I got more scared. Why isn't she answering? I texted her and asked if she was ok, but I got no reply.
Fuck.
She better not. She has to be ok. I called her one last time. No answer.
"We have to go." I said, leading them out.
"What? Why? What's wrong?" They were all confused. I didn't answer and led them down stairs. I felt my phone buzz and immediately looked at it.
Y/N. I checked the message, and my heart sank.
'I love you'
"Shit!" I ran to the car and started it. They all climbed in, asking questions I pulled away quickly.
"Geez, maybe wait for me to close my door." I ignored them and drove quickly  to her house.
"Hey! Don't crash my van!"
Please be ok. Please be ok. Please be ok.
"Nate! what the fuck is going on?" I parked and jumped out, running to the door.
"Y/N!" I yelled, running to her room. I tried to open the door but it's locked. Fuck. Fuck.
"Y/N, open the door." I knocked waiting for a reply.
"Please," I begged, there was still nothing ok answer. The triplets came up confused and worried. I ran back down to her kitchen and dug through the drawer. Where is it. I found it and ran back up. I put the key on the lock.
Please be alive.
I opened the door and felt imedite releaf as I heard her sobs. I stepped in and saw her. She was standing with a gun in her hand. Her head snapped up to me, and she back into the wall.
"Y/N put it down."
"No." She sobbed, shaking her head. I heard the triplets gasp as they saw her.
"Please just put it down. We can talk. Please." I begged, taking a step twords her.
"I can't." She cried.
"Yes you can. Just put it down."  I took another step.
"Go away." She looked at the gun, I came closer.
"I'm not going anywhere."
"Leave," She sobbed.
"Put it down." I pleaded. She shook her head.
"You don't want to, just think about this."
"I do want to."
"No, please, think of all the things you'll miss. You'll never get married, You'll never get to watch your favorite movies or eat your favorite foods. It's not going to fix anything." I said, moving closer.
"But," she tried to get out.
"But nothing, you can't do this, please." She looked at the floor, and I stepped in front of her. I grabbed it, and she pulled back.
"Let go."
"No! Give it back."
"I can't. You have to let go."
"Please," she begged, trying to get it. I full took it from her and threw it on the bed.
"No," she sobbed, I pulled her into me, trying to calm her down.
"God, where did you get a gun?" I sighed, she's safe, she's not leaving me.
"I hate you!"  She cried, trying to get away.
"Why won't you let me do it? I hate you."  She finally gave up and fell into the embrace. I held her tightly, tears falling from my eyes.
She's Ok.

But she's not ok.......is she?

That's not what happened.

I got out of the car as quickly as possible, running inside. She has to be ok. Just as I made it up the steps, my heart shattered.
A loud bang rang through my ears. No. No. No. That's not what I think it was. It can't be. I ran over and banged on the door. It's locked. I stepped back and ran into it. I did it again, and it fell to the ground. I ran in, and I couldn't breathe. No. She can't be gone. I kneeled in front of her lifeless buddy, ignoring all the blood.
"Y/N," my voice broke as I couldn't control my sobs.
"Y-N, please. No. Please." I gasped out. I saw the triplets hovering over us. I can't hear them. What's happening? She has to be ok. I brought my hand to her face, caressing her cheek. My beautiful girl. I was brought back as I felt someone pulling me away. Men in uniforms surrounding her. One placed his hand on her neck, then both on her chest, pushing down. What's happening? Why aren't they taking her to the hospital? I finally looked away from her to the triplets. Chris was next to me, Matt, a little behind me, and Nick was in the corner.
"What are they doing?" I asked Chris. He looked over to me with tears streaming down his face and didn't say anything.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
She's not gone.
She's Ok.
I watched as they kept trying, checking her pulse and going again.
Eventually, they stopped. Why did they stop? He turned to us and said something. What did he say? I can't hear anything with this ringing in my ears. Why did he stop?
Everything's going so fast. They took us out of the room. They talk. They have a big bag. She's in a bag. She's gone. I follow. She's in the back of an ambulance. It drives away. Without its lights on. They're driving her away. The triplets talk. I cry. I cry. I can't breathe. I need Y/N. They cry. They talk. We walk. I cry.
She's Ok.
She's coming back.
It's all ok.
I tell myself so many times.
Buy I know.
It's not true.
Dead.
She's dead.
Gone.
Never coming back.
Dead.
Gove.
Forever.