sturniolo/nate imagines

⚠️sh⚠️relapse-Matt

Y/N POV

I made a mistake last night. Matt was filming a car video with Nick and Chris, so the house was empty. I got thinking, and I didn't know how to stop it without cutting. I was gonna call Matt, but he said he was excited going out tonight, I don't wanna ruin his fun. So I cut. I was just gonna do one on my hand so I could play it off as an accident. But once I started, I couldn't stop. I added to the endless scars on my thigh, cutting over and over again. I was clean for 7 months, and it all went down the drain.
Luckily, I finished before Matt got home, but I feel so guilty, I'm supposed to tell him every time.
"You seem quiet today." Matt said, grabbing my hand. I shrugged. We're all at target right now, getting stuff for their video.
"What about this?" I asked, holding up a toy to distract him. Their playing with children's toys for the video.
"I like it," he said, putting it in the cart.

(Time skip)

"Can you film with us?" Nick asked me, Matt smiled.
"Umm," I said, unsure. I feel close to breaking down.
"Please." Matt begged. I gave in and nodded. Nick turned on the camera, and Chris started the intro.
"Hello, today we are playing with kids' toys." He said, giving a thumbs up. We opened the egg thing, and we're kind of disappointed.
"Wanna wear the wings?" Matt asked, holding them up. I nodded. He put them around me, and I tied it. It felt too low under my boobs so I moved them up. But it felt too high, I moved them back and forth, trying to figure it out. I heard Matt giggle. I looked up at him.
"Over or under?" I asked, still trying to make it work.
"Middle," he said, moving the string across them.
"That doesn't look right." I said, he agreed.
"I quit." I said, taking it off.
"This is not made for people with boobs." I said, throwing it on the table.
After that, I stayed quieter. I couldn't stop thinking about it. I need to tell Matt, but he'll be disappointed.
He looks so happy playing with that toolbox, I always ruin his happiness.
I didn't realize I was crying until I felt a tear hit my hand. I quickly turned around and went to Matt and I's room. I don't want them to see. I heard a bit of talking before there was a knock on the door.
"Y/N, are you ok." Matt asked, I didn't answer, so he came in.
"What's wrong?" He asked, walking over to me. I sniffed, trying to come up with an excuse. He wiped my tears, looking into my eyes. I can't lie to him.
"What happened?" He asked again, kneeling in front of me. I stared at the floor, playing with my hands.
"I-I," I struggled to get out. He grabbed my hands, rubbing the back of them with his thumbs.
"I relapsed last night." I admitted. He froze for a second, them hugged me.
"Oh baby." He sighed. I sobbed into his chest. He rubbed my back, trying to calm me down. Once I stopped sobbing, he faced me again.
"Why didn't you call me." He asked.
"I didn't want to ruin your fun." He frowned, then brought me to the bathroom. He knows how I do it. I just put on a band-aid, so there's still a mess.
"Pants," he said calmly. I pulled off my pants. His frown deepened when he saw the two band-aids. They were square about 5 inches on each side, the biggest size they make. He sat me on the counter  and slowly pulled them off. The cotton was almost full of blood. He threw them away, then looked at the cuts.
"Why'd you go so deep?" He asked, looking up at me.
"I just needed to." I tried to explain. He nodded, then grabbed a wash cloth and put it under warm water. He wiped the stains on the side of my thigh, where it dripped down. Then he washed around the cuts very gently. Once he got off all the dried blood, he grabbed Neosporin and band-aids. He put on a thin layer and then put on the band-aids.
"Thanks." I said, he smiled. I got down, and he pulled me into a hug.
"Please talk to me next time." I nodded. He gave me my pants, and I put them back on, then he led me to our room and put me in bed.
"I'm gonna go talk to Nick and Chris quick. I'll be right back." He said, kissing my forehead.
After about 5 minutes, he came back.
"You didn't tell them, right?" I asked as he layed next to me.
"No, of course not." He assured me as I snuggled into him.
"You know I love you, right?" He asked, I nodded.
"And you're not a burden. I love being able to help you." He spoke, rubbing my back in a soothing way.
"I know you think you make me sad. But you make me so happy all the time." He said as if he was reading my mind.
"I love you." I said, great full to have him.