Azure stared down at the plate in front of her.
Chicken. Rice. Broccoli.
The sight of the mundane meal brought a surge of frustration bubbling to the surface, threatening to boil over like a pot left unattended. Chicken, rice, broccoli—just another variation of the same bland fare she had been forcing herself to eat for years now.
She felt so fucking stupid.
Eating healthy shit, then drinking and smoking herself to sleep every night.
With a frustrated sigh, she pushed the plate away, the clatter of utensils against porcelain echoing in the empty room.
She knew why she did it. Why she forced herself to eat this way.
Because Gabriella used to love her body. She loved her strong arms, her defined abs, and her toned legs.
She loved the way Azure looked, the way she felt, the way she moved. And Azure had loved herself too, back then.
She reached for the pack of cigarettes sitting on the table, her fingers trembling as she pulled one out and lit it with a flick of her lighter. The familiar taste of smoke filled her lungs, offering a fleeting sense of relief amidst the turmoil of her thoughts.
She looked at her watch.
12:34 PM.
Arsenal had informed her she would start training with the rest of her new team this afternoon.
Arsenal once meant so much to her. When she had met Gabriella, it was the only thing on her mind.
Playing for the Gunners.
She remembered talking about it for hours on end. Explaining to her why she loved every player. Gabriella couldn't give a flying fuck about football. That never stopped her from listening to Azure ramble on about her passion for the game, her eyes lighting up with amusement and affection as she watched Azure's face light up with excitement.
She would tell her how Leah Williamson was an amazing defender, how she was a rock in defense. How she incarnated class on the field. She would gush about the way Vivianne Miedema effortlessly found the back of the net, scoring goal after goal with a finesse that left defenders in her wake. And she would marvel at the skill and grace of Kim Little, the way she commanded the midfield with a poise and elegance that was unmatched.
She would tell her about Katie McCabe, the fiery Irish winger with fierce determination and a lethal left foot. How aggressive she was. That she always adored. Always admired.
But that was before. Before everything fell apart. Before Gabriella was no longer there to share in her dreams and aspirations. Before Azure found herself adrift in a sea of loneliness and despair, struggling to find her footing in a world that suddenly seemed so cold and unforgiving.
Azure's phone rang. She groaned and closed her eyes, forcing on her eyelids as strong as she could, as if it would block out the incessant ringing of the phone. With a resigned sigh, she reached for the device and glanced at the caller ID.
She hesitated for a moment, her thumb hovering over the answer button before finally pressing it and bringing the phone to her ear.
"Mom," Azure muttered the word under her breath, her voice tinged with a mix of resignation and apprehension. She hadn't spoken to her mother in weeks, not since the last heated argument that ended with both of them hurling hurtful words at each other.
"Hey, Azure, it's me," her mother's voice sounded over the line, a mixture of concern and hesitation evident in her tone.
Azure loved her mother. With the depths of her being, she loved her. But their relationship had always been strained, marred by misunderstandings and unspoken resentments that seemed to fester beneath the surface. They were too alike in some ways, and too different in others. And like everything else in her life, their relationship got destroyed when Gabriella died.
