Azure threw up the moment she got home.
She barely made it to the bathroom before her stomach rebelled, heaving violently as she emptied the contents of her stomach into the porcelain bowl.
Each retch sent waves of nausea coursing through her body, her head pounding with each convulsion as she fought to regain control of her rebellious body. But no matter how hard she tried to suppress the overwhelming urge to vomit, it seemed that her body had other plans, determined to rid itself of the toxic emotions that threatened to consume her from within.
As she knelt on the cold tile floor, her forehead clammy with sweat and her muscles trembling with exhaustion, Azure couldn't help but feel a sense of shame wash over her. She hated the vulnerability of being sick, the weakness it represented in the face of her own inner demons.
She wasn't exactly sure why was she suddenly so sick. Maybe it was the fact that she had allowed contact with another human being for the first time since Gabriella's death.
Maybe it was the fact that she had cried, for minutes on end, with Katie to witness every single one of her tears.
Maybe it was the overwhelming flood of emotions that had been building up inside her for months, threatening to burst forth like a dam on the brink of collapse.
Maybe it was the way she had left, without offering Katie a single thank you. Not even a goodbye.
Whatever the reason, Azure knew that she couldn't continue to ignore the signs of her deteriorating mental and physical health.
She knew she couldn't. Yet she knew she would.
Despite her body's rebellion, Azure forced herself to push through the nausea, to rise from the cold tile floor and face the harsh reality of her circumstances. She knew she couldn't afford to wallow in self-pity, couldn't afford to succumb to the darkness that threatened to engulf her.
With trembling hands, Azure rinsed her mouth with water, trying to wash away the bitter taste of bile that lingered on her tongue. She splashed her face with cold water, hoping to numb the ache that pulsed behind her temples with each beat of her heart.
As she stared at her reflection in the mirror, Azure saw a stranger staring back at her, her eyes hollow and haunted, her cheeks gaunt and pale. She hardly recognized the woman she had become, a mere shadow of her former self, adrift in a sea of uncertainty and despair.
Maybe she should call her mother. Maybe she should call Katie. Maybe she should call her father. Maybe she should call Katie.
Azure leaned against the bathroom sink, her thoughts swirling with indecision as she grappled with the overwhelming urge to reach out for help. She knew she couldn't continue to shoulder the burden of her pain alone, couldn't keep pushing everyone away in a futile attempt to protect herself from further heartache.
But the thought of reaching out, of admitting her vulnerability to those closest to her, filled her with a sense of dread and apprehension. She didn't want to burden her mother with her troubles, didn't want to worry her father with her fragile state of mind. And as for Katie...
Katie had already witnessed too much, had seen the depths of Azure's despair laid bare in the harsh light of day. She didn't want to drag Katie down with her, didn't want to subject her to the burden of her own brokenness.
Only one thing remained. One thing that would always be here. Always listen. Never give up on her. Alcohol.
With trembling hands, Azure made her way to the kitchen, her footsteps faltering with each step as she fought to keep her balance. She could feel the pull of the bottle, the promise of oblivion calling out to her like a beacon in the night.
As she reached for the bottle of rum on the counter, Azure hesitated for a moment, her fingers hovering over the cool glass as she wrestled with the demons that lurked within her. She knew she shouldn't give in to the temptation, shouldn't allow herself to be consumed by the numbing embrace of alcohol.
But as the memories of Gabriella's laughter echoed in her mind, as the pain of her loss threatened to overwhelm her once more, Azure knew that she couldn't resist the siren's call any longer. With a shaky breath, she uncapped the bottle and took a long swig, feeling the fiery burn of the alcohol sear her throat as it slid down into her empty stomach.
For a brief moment, the world fell away, replaced by a blissful numbness that offered respite from the storm raging inside her. But as the alcohol took hold, as the edges of reality began to blur and fade, Azure knew that she was only delaying the inevitable.
She knew that no amount of rum, no amount of whiskey, no amount of vodka could erase the pain of losing Gabriella, could fill the void that had been left in her heart. But in that moment of weakness, it was enough to numb the ache, to quiet the voices that whispered of despair and defeat.
With each swallow, Azure felt the weight of her grief momentarily lifted, replaced by a fleeting sense of peace that eluded her grasp. She knew that the alcohol offered only temporary relief, a fleeting respite from the overwhelming tide of emotions that threatened to consume her from within.
But in that moment, as she stood alone in her kitchen, drowning her sorrows in a sea of whiskey and regret, Azure couldn't bring herself to care. She welcomed the numbness, embraced the oblivion that beckoned to her like an old friend, offering solace in the midst of her pain.
As she sank to the floor, the bottle slipping from her grasp as darkness closed in around her, Azure knew that she was teetering on the edge of oblivion. But in that moment, she didn't care. All she wanted was to escape, to flee from the pain that haunted her every waking moment, to find some semblance of peace in a world torn apart by tragedy.
She grabbed her phone, its bright light momentarily blinding her, as she groaned in pain.
That didn't stop her though. Quickly enough, she opened up Katie's contact, sending her one simple text.
Azure: I'm sorry.
With a heavy heart and trembling fingers, Azure pressed send, her thumb hovering over the screen as she waited for a response. She knew that she was risking everything by reaching out to Katie, laying bare her vulnerability in a way that she had sworn never to do.
But in that moment of weakness, as the alcohol coursed through her veins and the darkness closed in around her, Azure knew that she couldn't bear to face her demons alone any longer. She needed Katie, needed her steady presence and unwavering support to guide her through the storm that raged within her.
As she waited for Katie's reply, Azure felt herself fall asleep, leaving the conversation open on the floor next to her, close to the rum bottle that was spilling over the black tiles of her kitchen.
