Don't Move

Forgiveness and Loneliness

When I wake up, I find myself in my bed and I start to wonder if it was just a dream, but as I look at my body, the blue and purple bruises, then I know it's real and my tears start to fall again.

As I hear the door opening, I hurriedly wipe my tears and avoid the gaze of the person walking into the room. When I notice it is the doctor, I smile at her with sadness as she comes closer and starts checking on me as well as the baby.

"Is your family okay?" I ask her and she nods. "I'm sorry," she whispers as her tears fall silently. Afterwards, she leaves and no one else comes into the room except for the slaves who drop off food and help me eat.

The very next morning, Eden walks into the room with a sad smile on her face.

"I am so glad you and the baby are okay," Eden says as she hugs me tightly. "Let's be honest," I say seriously, "everyone's happy the baby is alive." She sighs, "I am happy that you are here and so is Anax." I roll my eyes, "Mother Eden, you know it's not true. If you never had four sons or any children, would James have loved you?" She sighs, "Maybe not, but I know he doesn't love me as much as he loves Kamali. The worst part of that is that I gave him the heir, she's human, she has three kids only and one of them is a very naughty son." I smile as she says this, "Do Kerogen women need to be loved?" She nods, "Why do you think everyone is so competitive?" I laugh, but tears start falling, "He just blamed me cause I'm human." Now she rolls her eyes, "That might be true, but the mother is one of the main suspects always for some reason."

After a moment of silence, I just bring up another topic.

"How is Baruch?" I ask her and she smiles. "He is fine," she says kindly, "I have been taking care of him, but Anax has been helping." "That's surprising," I say with annoyance, "in the past, now, 5 months of Baruch's life, he has barely even held him." She looks at me with confusion, "James was and is very involved in his children's lives even if we don't see it, but a mother would know so why don't you tell him." "Like I said, I am just human. I am not his wife just a surrogate and a nanny to a child that was in the belly that is partially mine, " I say seriously, "the point, no one wants to hear what a human wants to say." She laughs mockingly, "Now, you could wallow in sorrow about being human or take control by speaking up, so end up like Kamali or one of the other human mothers." I sigh and nod as the door opens once again.

When I see Anax walking in with Baruch, I tense as he doesn't look at me instead just hands Baruch to Eden. "Father needs me to go to town," Anax says hurriedly as he walks out quickly.

"See," I say as I look at Baruch in Eden's arms. "You know he has started crawling and standing now." I nod as she hands him over to me, "Did they find out how he got poisoned?" She nods, "Seems he ate something outside." I nod, then she leaves as she has her children to take care of.

Baruch is babbling as he plays with my hair as his little body sits on my chest near his sibling in my belly. He kisses my nose and tears fill my eyes as I do the same back which causes him to giggle.

Amoli walks into the room with Athena following behind, while Jaxon carries the twins. I smile at them with tears in my eyes, "I am so glad you guys came." Amoli hugs me tightly, "I missed you and so did Athena." Jaxon's face is filled with anger but he smiles at me.

Once they leave, slowly, the rest of the family comes to meet me including Heidi and Berli.

"I came by just to check on you," Heidi says with tears in her eyes, "and to tell you I'm pregnant again." She holds Azai while Berli holds Aziza. "We really missed you," Berli says kindly.

Soon, the room is filled with silence until the darkness comes and Anax barges into the room with anger.

"Who gave you permission to take Baruch?" he asks me and I just stare at him for a moment. "Your mother," I say seriously, "but can I ask you a question? Are you going to hold it against me forever?" His eyes meet mine, "You didn't take care of him like you should have. He shouldn't have had the chance to eat anything." "Then kill me," I say seriously, "after this baby is born in a months time, kill me. I am done being treated like nothing like someone who is just here to babysit your child instead of it being both of us. I'm sure your father would agree with me." He tenses at my words and grabs Baruch as he walks out of the room.