Icebound Hearts

39 : Pain

"A pathological people-pleaser."
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Luke
** I recommend you listen to some sad music for a better experience!

Vancouver was different. I hadn't decided whether that was good or bad.

For starters I was far from reach of my father which was all I've ever asked for as a little boy.

But I was millions of miles away from the girl I loved, the girl who decided to stick by me, who continued to choose me.

I found the love of my life but I owed karma and I paid it in full.

For the rest of my life would I regret the mistakes of my past, the mistakes that made me lose her, for being a living sin.

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Lizzie
Five months later ~ May

"Shut up, I'm gonna cry." I elbow Archie in the ribs as he howls in laughter or pain,

"Oh stop being such a baby Liz, you'll see them in summer." He drawls as we watch more people stepping onto stage to receive their diploma. I keep myself sat on the edge of my seat waiting for my friends to come out one by one.

The day had finally come.

Gracie, Logan and JJ's graduation. I couldn't be prouder.

I was a mess, a sobbing mess. It hurt knowing that next year I won't be standing next to them anymore. But I had a feeling I could do it. It took me months to stop crying every night since Luke left, I temporarily moved into Gracies house for comfort.

I moved back into my dorm in march, by that time I physically couldn't cry anymore because I had no more tears left to shed. I was numb.

But I got through it. I'm far from over it, but I survived when I thought I couldn't. And that meant something to me.

My phone buzzes in my pocket and I scramble to pick it up needing the distraction.

Wyatt: Congratulate West for me. Come by soon to say goodbye, you cant avoid the house forever.

I felt like the knife that's been stabbing me in my heart for the past five months just dug deeper. After Luke left, Wyatt, Adam and Elijah didn't ignore me like I thought they would, instead they were there for me.

I felt guilty for not being there for them but I couldn't, I physically and mentally cant step foot into that house. I try my best to support them from afar, I didn't go to the championship game they won because I couldn't bear the thought of looking at the players and not seeing him.

So instead I waited until Gracie texted me telling me they won, and then only then did I breathe.

"Oh my god, it's Gracie!" I shoot to my feet at the sight of my best friend striding down the stage towards the dean in her cap and gown.

She looks flawless.

I cheer and clap my ass off, until Gracie found me in the crowd and blew me a kiss.

My unbiological sister.

Soon enough Logan was next on stage, smiling proudly in his cap and gown he took his diploma with pride, shaking the hand of the dean like a true gentleman.

And then like expected, he bolted off stage, running towards his girlfriend who was ready with open arms as he picked her up and twirled her around.

I was full of envy.

By the time it was JJ's turn I was already feeling broken again.

He struts onto stage, his cap creased and a smug grin on his face. Taking his diploma from the dean he kissed him right on the cheek before strutting away holding up his middle finger at the row the teachers were in.

Archie chokes on his laugh next to me while I have a hard time keeping it in.

The graduation wraps up soon and the crowd is left lingering in the main hall, friends and family taking pictures with each other. Gracies mum flew in which was quite a surprise but I'm not sure if that's good or not since she's been avoiding her all night.

Archie has his arm slinged over my shoulder, our bodies leaning against the wall as we observe the crowd when JJ calls out for us,

"Liz! Archie! I want you guys to meet someone!" He beams at us, walking towards us with meaning. I catch a glance at the girl behind him, his hand firmly clasped in hers.

They stop in front of us, the girl awkwardly smiles showing off two adorable dimples.

Luke has dimples.

"Guys, this is Ivy. My girlfriend." Archies jaw drops next to me but I keep mine in place,

Fuck right off.

I look over at Ivy again, her short brown hair flowing in the wind. She has gorgeous long legs courtesy of her height but even then she's not as tall as JJ.

Of course everyone is in love now.

"Can one of you guys say something?"

"It's really nice to meet you Ivy." I smile when Archie stays still with his mouth dropped open,

"It's nice to meet you too Lizzie, I-" She cuts herself off when she realises her trip up. JJ smiles amusingly as his girlfriends cheeks turn pink.

"I'm sorry, I must sound like such a stalker. It's just lots of my friends - guy friends - like to talk." She corrects herself,

"Don't worry about it, how long have you two been together?" I say trying to save her from the embarrassment of an longer explanation,

"About two months, Ivy is a sophomore but took a gap year so she's 20." JJ explains, I assume they're doing long distance if he's introducing her to everyone.

"That's nice. Sorry, I need to go to the bathroom." I excuse myself, leaving the three of them to a conversation as I roam the halls in look for a bathroom.

My pulse increases and I practice breathing, fast walking towards a cubicle I lock the door and slide myself down to the floor. Something I've been doing a lot more.

Breathe.

You're okay.

Suck it up.

I swipe a trailing tear off my cheek, careful not to ruin my makeup that I wear as armour. I pull out my phone and stare at my face in the camera, a weak fake smile plastering itself on my face as a lone tear makes it way down my cheek again.

"Lizzie?" I startle at the sound of the familiar voice, picking myself up and patting my eyes to make sure there are no tears I make my way out of the cubicle with a smile on my face.

"Hey!"

"What's wrong?" Gracie frowns,

"Nothing, Im fine. Let's go back out!"

"Don't lie to me."

"Im fine." I reassure her as my insides eat at me,

"Is this about Lu-"

"Don't. Don't bring him up." I cut her off, my voice shaky.

"Liz you can't keep doing this."

"Im.Fine."

"Dammit Lizzie! Please don't lie."

I fall into her arms, they quickly wrap around me as we slide down onto the floor together. Her fingers stroking circles into my hair.

"Everything hurts, Gracie." I whisper,

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I'm gonna try and get the next chapter out tomorrow!

I feel like the words in this chapter don't show how much pain Lizzie is in.

"sad beautiful tragic" by Taylor Swift is Luke and Lizzie's relationship right now and in the next few chapters😭✌️

Also guys when I reply to your comment's with emojis like ✌️😁🔥😭😬😆 I'm being ironic. Like I'm not a middle aged lady, I'm 16.