Just Friends?(BWWM)

Saying Goodbye Is A Hard Thing To Do

Chapter 17: Saying Goodbye Is A Hard Thing To Do

(Riley's POV) 

"Jasmine, he gave up so fast. He just said okay, he knows how miserable all of our lives were when we all lived in New York with our families and he still chose that over me. He doesn't love me, he never did." I said while trying to stop crying my eyes out, Jasmine hugged me and said "Oh babe, I wish I knew what to say but I don't. Your not just my best friend your my cousin, your family and if you need anything I am here." I tried to wipe the tears away but new ones replaced them, I laid on her shoulders and whined "How could he just give inn so quickly without even talking to me, he didn't even look at me. He said I wasn't his real friend." Jasmine rubbed my back and said "He knows that's not true, you have been with him thick through thin and you guys will get through this." Before I could say anything I heard someone knocking on the door, I was such a mess so Jasmine answered the door for me.

 Jasmine opened the door and said "Hell no, Caspian please go away." I heard Caspian hold the door open and explain, "Jasmine we have known each other since we were kids, I think you know I wouldn't do this if I thought there was a different way but there isn't. I am a man and now I have to live with the manly decisions I made, and I owe it to Riley to let this end on okay terms." Jasmine sighed and said "Come in, I will leave you two alone." I hid by the couch so he couldn't see me but Caspian yelled out "Get away from the couch Riley." I popped my head up and stood up straight, he walked closer to me and said "Riley I am so sorry all of this happened." I was so hurt and fed up so I yelled "Why? Why did you give up so easily? Like I didn't mean anything to you, you said Okay Caspian. You said Okay, you downgraded what we had and you gave your mother exactly what she wanted without a fight. What did you just need to see what it was like to be with me for a day and then poof Riley's out your system?" Caspian grabbed both of my hand and said "No, look at me Riley. Look at me."

 I turned my head to him and looked at him and he continued "You will Never, Never be out of my system Riley. I meant everything I said to you last night, and I will be tortured for as long as I live knowing I let you go. You were my soul mate, and no one will ever change that but I have a responsibility to my family and my baby that triumphs any of my selfish desires. Knowing that  I got to be loved by you  is enough to last a lifetime. Riley I release you, I want you to have a happy life filled with love and passion. I want you to move on from me and find your prince charming, and be happy get married and even have kids. It kills me to know I wont be apart of that but I need to set you free because I know I will never be able to just be your friend and I wont be able to be a good father if I have to resent my own child for not being with you. So yes I am giving in because it's the right thing to do, I have to be a father Riley and I need you to understand that no matter how hard it is too do." Tears flooded my eyes and his, I knew this was killing him too, so I said "I understand Caspian." His voice cracked and he said "Thank you Riley, for letting me see what it was like to be loved by you. I will always love you, goodbye." He kissed my forehead and walked away hesitantly, all I could get out was "Goodbye Caspian.." 

When he shut the door I fell to my knees and cried my heart out, I've never experienced so much hurt in my life. The one person who has always loved me and the one person I trusted was gone, and the moment he walked out of the door I knew I would never be the same, a piece of me was gone. 

(Caspian's POV) 

I shut the door to Riley's apartment and to that part of my life and it hurt like hell, the aching in my heart was almost unbearable. Seeing the brokenness in her eyes and knowing I caused that, almost threw me off the edge. I never in a million years wanted to be the reason Riley cried, and not only was I the reason but I broke her, and she broke me. If only I would have realized sooner, and only if she would have spoken up before I got myself in this mess. I walked inside the apartment and wiped my face, I walked in the bathroom and found Jaceyln packing up all of our clothes. She smiled at me and asked politely "Did you say your goodbyes?" I looked back at the door and snapped "What do you think? You really called my mother? You brought all this craziness back into my life and now I have to pack up the life I was happy with just to go back to a life that made me miserable!" Jaceyln continued packing and said "Well your life couldn't have been that bad, and it wont be your doing what you need to for your family." I was so angry at her, in my eyes she's the reason I can't be with Riley now I was trapped. I slapped my keys on the table and said "What family? A life without Riley is a miserable one, and one I don't want to be in."

 Jaceyln had tears coming down her eyes now and she said firmly "Caspian I did not ask to be pregnant, and by a man who cheats on me and lies about it but I am. This miserable life in New York includes a child in it just in case you forgot, and I refuse to let a baby feel resented and unwanted. So you have two options you can leave now and be with Riley, and know you abandoned your son or daughter; or you can come to New York with me and be with your family and have a different kind of love in your life, a father's love but you can't have both. You can't love this baby and Riley, so you have until the press conference at 6 to decide which love matters more because I refuse to bring my child in a situation where they aren't loved. You either get Riley out of your system and fast or you will never see me or your child ever again, but if I do see you today at the press conference I don't want to have this conversation again." Jaceyln wiped her face and walked out of the room, I fell on my bed and processed what she just said to me. 

Everything hit me all at once, overwhelming waves of emotion and my heart was pulling me in two different directions but what she said was fair for her, and I knew what she said was right. I couldn't be there for my baby and resent the reason she's here. It didn't matter who I was having a baby with, what mattered was I was that babies father and  I had to make a choice and fast, Riley or my child...