The One Where I Keep More Than Another Secret

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   I don't think I'll ever remember how I felt the first time I was told I was to be a big brother

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   I don't think I'll ever remember how I felt the first time I was told I was to be a big brother. Snippets of the scene elude my mind from time to time.

The way Cairo squeezed my mother in his arms, kissing her with all that he had in him. He gave that woman everything.

  Afterward he scooped me off the ground where I'd been playing, kissing my cheek and telling me our small family was growing.

   "Do you want a sister or a brother?!" He exclaimed,  falling onto the couch. My small mind sent my heart into a panic at the thought of having a brother after the pain I'd been through with the others.

  Mother said I wasn't allowed to mention them, but my mind had come up with a resolve and an explanation in one instant.

  "A sister!" I exclaimed, opting not to share my reasoning.

  "I like the way you think," he summoned Samantha onto the couch and snuggled the three of us into the tightest embrace a man could manage. "I've got the whole wide world in my hands," he sung softly.

   He always sung when he was happy. He was always singing.

  I stared at the folded piece of paper Lith had pulled out of her purse and knew what it was before she even opened it.

  My breath grew short. This wasn't the happy scene I'd lived through before. The table was somber.

I swore out loud, snatching the paper off the table and keeping it out of eye view. My gaze flying rapidly across the diner. Hoping nobody saw.

As Quinn always says, there are monsters everywhere, and I refuse to risk it.

"Lith?" Christophen breathed, "what did you tell your father? You even got Dean involved."

She burst into tears; clutching her midsection. I winced at the agony in her wail. I'm sure just a month prior she'd actually be happy at the news. But after the events that have unfolded as of the late, I'm afraid that just can't occur.

"I can't do this with him," she breathed, her face growing red.

   Christophen still looked confused. He probably didn't get a chance to see what I saw; but by the sharp look Ambrosia sent him I could only assume she saw what I did.

  "Luca," she demanded, "show him the paper."

  I shook my head, holding it in a death grip. No one was going to pry this out of my hand and if they did, they'd get a knife to the side. I wouldn't hesitate; I'll protect this baby with all that is in me and more.

  I'll protect them because I have to. Being born into the family that it is. With a brother like me- tied to dangerous roots- I'll have to watch over Lith and her first born child like they're all I've ever known.

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