Defective - Jacob Black {1}

Chapter 20: Confessions

The clang of metal upon metal rang through my ears as I stared at the closed locker door. The final bell a distant memory as I had spent the last fifteen minutes just staring into my locker. I didn't know what to do anymore, just saying I felt numb didn't seem like enough to describe the loss I was feeling.

Dad had finally forced me back to school, although he was lenient letting me start again on a Friday, he still made Jesse drive me here to make sure I went in. I wouldn't be surprised if he had Jesse circling the place to make sure I wouldn't escape. I had been back at school for a day, and it had been a week since the incident... And a week since I last saw Jake.

The rest of the boys were completely normal with me again, even Sam when he showed up at the house and that gave me some comfort. However, there was still a Jake sized hole in my heart that only he could fill and repair.

I wanted an explanation, I was fed up of feeling angry and sad and lost. I just wanted him back in my life. That connection we had when we saw each other again after his fight completely revived me. He had come to see me the night before. Why was he suddenly avoiding me? Why did he run?

The pack hated him, and I knew it wasn't just because he had suddenly dropped everything and ran from me. I get that was a good enough reason but there was something else there. Something they weren't telling me. Whenever I bring him up or ask how he is the room grows silent and awkward, and then suddenly someone changes the subject.

To be honest I didn't know what to do anymore. All I could feel now was a pull in my chest that I knew was telling me to go to him but, if I couldn't find him, and he didn't want me to find him, why should I bother?

I've tried calling but I was sure Billy had shut off the phones... Bella was going crazy. He was completely avoiding her, not a call or anything. She was driving me crazy with all her questions, and I hated not being able to tell her. She thought Sam was corrupting everyone, she even tried to speak to Jesse but he was avoiding her too. I was all she had and all I could do was lie to her as we both suffered over the loss of Jacob.

"Hey, Aria!" I turned my head to look down the hallway to see Ryan and the rest of my friends making their way towards me. It was my first day back after three weeks and I had been avoiding them all day. I didn't need the interrogation.

"Hey guys." I leant on my locker, waiting for them to approach me, my eyes trained on my white converse.

"So, I'm having a party tonight. Wanna come?" Jason asked biting his lip hopefully, the rest of the guys building themselves up ready for my answer.

"I'm sorry..." I began as they all groaned in annoyance. "I'm sorry guys but I can't." I wasn't exactly in the party mood.

"It's okay we get it." Cassidy began snidely, shrugging as she placed a hand on her hip. Here we go... "Is your brother acting up, or have you argued with Jacob again, or is Bella still depressed, or is it more problems with your mom moving?" Cassidy spat and I turned to glare at her in shock, my shaking hands balling into fists.

Obviously missing out a few details she knew I had a lot going on right now. I never expected her of all people to call me out on it.

"Cassie!" Scarlett glared at her as the guys gave her questioning looks.

"What!?" Cassidy protested before pointing at me. "She's never free anymore and she expects us to be okay with that?"

"Well I thought you were my friend, the least you could do is act like one. Therefore you should be okay with it!" I retorted and she just huffed crossing her arms over her chest.

"Well she is right." Ryan cut in as Scarlett rolled her eyes placing her head in her hands. Ryan was actually agreeing with Cassidy? "Scar, don't act like that I know you're thinking it to. Ari, we never get to hang out with you anymore. Ever since the Cullens left and Bella went crazy you've been quiet and shutting everyone out. It's like you can't stand to be around us anymore."