My Benefactor

My Benefactor Chapter Thirteen

My Benefactor

Copyright © 2011 crimsonnebula

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Chapter Thirteen

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*****

When does heartbreak begin?

With infidelity? Or does it begin long before, when someone swallows more pain than love and was forever altered?

Perhaps it didn't matter anymore, in my case.

Or perhaps it mattered more than anything else. We berate ourselves based on things that had happened to us, like a buried emotion, covered long after you finally dealt with it. It was eminent, to live and breathe. It required great understanding, seeing all things at once, forward and backward...

So we began in the middle, with her eyes fluttered open, her vision blurry. Struggling to focus, she could make out that she was in a room with bare white walls which sparked her confusion. She heard a beeping noise to her left and glanced at it.

A heart monitor.

Using her poor skills of deduction, it didn't take a genius to know she was in a hospital.

"Finally," someone said in relief. "You're awake."

She turned her head to find that voice and took a sharp intake of breath.

His dark blue orbs stared at her with immense worry had this girl remember her heartache.

That girl was me.

"Derek." My voice hoarse and dry. I winced as the slight throbbing pain in my head came in slow spasms. I tried to move, but my body felt like jelly.

Derek walked over to the bed and put a hand on my shoulder to stop me from moving, "Stay still." He ordered.

"What happened?" my voice came out monotone and void, but my mouth is dry as a cotton ball.

He sighed and removed his hand from my shoulder,"You collapsed. You had an intense headache." He held such a worry expression on his face,"I didn't know what to do, so I took you here, to the hospital."

I merely nodded, not saying anything.

I eyed the pitcher, knowing full well it was filled with water. Derek trailed his vision to where I'm looking at,"Are you thirsty?" he asked.

"No." My denial was automatic. I hadn't forgiven him yet for freaking yelling at me.

He ignored my response and went to table where the pitcher was laid on a tray. He took a glass beside it and picked up the pitcher to pour the water into the glass. After that, he walked back to the bed and slowly righted me up, without jostling the wires and tubes attached to my wrist. He tucked my hair behind my ear and slowly tilted the glass into my pursed lips. No way in hell am I going to be oh so grateful, because he was being a perfect gentleman.

He frowned deeply,"Reagan, you're acting like a child."

Well that hit a nerve. Technically, I'm a minor, so he was right about the child part, but that's not the point. I am capable of getting my own water, if it weren't for the wires and tubes and my stupid uncooperative body.

I glared - well, I tried, because damn my body was all squiggly. Even my eyebrows were hard to move,"Mr. Kolinkar, I am capable of getting my own water, thank you very much."

He flinched when I called him by his last name. I was helping him remember that I was merely his ward, the guardian to a drama magnet teenager, but he covered it up with a cocky smirk, as if it didn't bother him,"How can you accomplish that when you're attach to the IV and heart monitor?"

Okay, you got me there."Fine. Tilt the glass." I ordered in a haughty manner.

He cocked his eyebrow,"What happened to your manners, Reagan?"

Damn it. "Please." I said, gritting my teeth.

He chuckled then slowly tilted the glass again where the brim meet my lips. As the water flowed, I drank hungrily. I was so thirsty, like a man stranded in a desert for a whole week of water shortage.

When it was empty, he placed the glass back to its original place and turned to look at me.

He was deep in thought, trying to find the right words to say then he blurted. "I'm sorry."

Finally, he apologized. He sighed then said it again slowly, not rushing,"I'm sorry, Reagan, for yelling at you. I panicked because you didn't call. You usually inform me if you're going out or coming home late. I was waiting for you because it was dinner and..." he trailed, not knowing what to say next. He looked nervous and wait! Embarrassed?

I groaned in realization. I ditched him at dinner. It was my turn to cook. God, now I feel guilty.

I hung my head in shame, "You don't have to apologize. I should have called. I'm sorry."

He sat on my bed and curved his pointer finger, using it to tilt my chin up. He removed it and moved his hand to stroke my cheek with his thumb, pressing his forehead to mine,"It's okay. I didn't need to shout at you. It was my fault." He murmured. Our lips were inches apart and I was tempted to leaned in to close the gap.

I was starting to get incoherent with the close proximity, "It's o-okay." I stuttered. Geez, I sound so stupid.

His eyes flicked to my lips and lingered there. He traced my bottom lip with his thumb lovingly," I miss you so much, little one." He murmured like a whisper," So much that it hurts not to be near you..."

I chuckled a little,"We always see each other at home Derek. You can't miss me that much."

He shook his head,"No, that's not what I meant. I haven't been this close to you for the past week. You're acting different all of a sudden."

My heart sank. I was acting different on purpose. I was trying to slowly detach from him so that it won't be hard when the time comes, "I'm still the same. I haven't changed."

He frowned,"You and I both know that's a lie. You can always tell me anything. I won't judge."

If only I could."It's okay. I can handle it. Don't worry."

He looked unconvinced but let it go. He wrapped me up in a hug then buried his face on my neck and sighed,"Reagan," he mumbled into my neck, "I love you."

I tried to suppress my heart from beating rapidly, because I know he meant it in a bortherly way. But the other part of me was hopeful he would see me not as his ward, but as a woman.

And there was Alexis...

Ah, hell.

He needs to stop saying it, to put me out of my misery. I'm surprise he didn't hear the rapid beeping of my heart monitor.

I froze when I felt Derek kissing my neck. I was sure I felt a slightest caress of his tongue to the point and I shivered. It was sensual, erotic... damn, it was sexy. He worked his way to my earlobe and nibbled it with his teeth, then he flicked it with his tongue, catching it with his lips.

Out of nowhere, I moaned.

Oh my god.

"Derek." I said breathlessly," What are you doing?"

"Hmm?" he asked while working his way down to the crook of my neck.

"This isn't right. You need to stop." I said but my voice was wavering.

He was sucking on the flesh right now and I fought so hard not to moan. It felt good, turning me on. Crap! What the hell was Derek doing?

"Stop." I said. There was no reaction so with an effort, I pushed him away hard, making his head jerk backwards. I wasn't prepared when I saw his eyes. It was swirling with red, fighting to dominate his blue orbs. His breathing was ragged and as quick as lightning, he backed away, horrified.

"What have I done?" he muttered, his eyes bulging out of his sockets,"I'm sorry, Reagan. I don't know what came over me." He said remorsefully.

I took deep calm breaths to regain my composure,"Your eyes, Derek."

He frowned,"What do you mean?"

I gulped. It was hard to describe,"It was weird. I could see red lines swirling around..." I trailed.

He looked nervous, "Must be the trick of the light."

I narrowed my eyes into slits, seeking for lies as he said it. When I found none, I nodded my head,"Must be."

Once again he apologized, "I'm sorry, little one. It won't happen again." He pleaded.

"It's okay, Derek. It's--" but I was cut off by someone barging in the room unannounced.

"I see you're awake now, Miss Alden. I'm Dr. Graham." He said. He walked over to my bed and looked me over,"How are you feeling?"

I groaned,"My head still hurts a bit." Come to think of it, there was some slight spasm in my head but it's on and off.

He nodded,"Okay. There seems to be nothing wrong with your vitals. They are normal but when I checked on your brain activity, there was some slight disturbance with your brain waves." He said.

I frowned. I hope its not something freaky, like mutant freaky."What do you mean, doctor?"

He held up a print out chart,"You see this curve lines that smoothly go up and down?" he asked and I nodded,"This a normal brainwave activity." Then he held up another print out chart. The curves were out of place and spiky,"This one here is yours. I haven't seen anything like this. It's like your brain is evolving to some degree." He had that dazed look, amazed with his discovery.

Great. He was looking at me like I'm some lab experiment.

Derek looked at the chart and frowned,"What's your analysis on this?"

The doctor snapped out of his daze,"Oh, sorry. I need to keep her here for another day, just to be sure. I'll run some more test and confer with my colleagues who specialize with the brain."

Derek merely nodded.

"For the time being, just rest. I'll be back tomorrow before you'll be discharged." And with that, Dr. Graham left.

The tense feeling came back with a vengeance. Derek was fidgeting in the corner, hesitating. But, about what?

"Derek? You okay?" I asked as I watched him warily.

He sighed,"I need to go out for a bit, but I'll be back. I'll have Cooper come here to watch you." He looked pained when he said that he needed to go.

I nodded meekly,"Alright."

Without a word, he left the room.

I touched my neck where Derek kissed.

I smiled.

I slumped back to the bed and screamed into the pillow like a lovestruck girl.

And I didn't mind that the heart monitor beeped rapidly due to the ecstatic feeling.

                                                                    

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Song choice of the moment:

Words I never said by Lupe Fiasco featuring Skylar Grey

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