The Virginity Bet [#Wattys 2015]

Chapter 20

There were so many things running through Charlie's mind when she heard Caleb say the words 'I love you.'

She was thinking, 'I love you too Caleb! More than you can ever imagine.'

And then she was thinking of how special this moment would be when she finally let go of Luke and her past and told Caleb that she loved him too.

And then, she was thinking that maybe she didn't love him? Maybe she still loved Luke? Regardless of how he left her and what he did to her, there was a part of her that knew deep down, she could never let it go.

All eyes were on her as Caleb said the words.

Vance and his mother stared wide eyed at the exchange of words. As if they couldn't believe it was happening.

Charlie was at a loss for words. She had so many, and she knew that she cared for Caleb, but she didn't know if she loved him quite yet. They had only been together for a few weeks. It just seemed so crazy to somehow fall in love after everything that's happened to her.

She thought back to her encounter with Oliver. She mentally apologized for not even talking to him after school today. But she would get around to it. And when she thought about Oliver, she remember what he asked her before she walked away.

Why are you so afraid of being happy, Charlie?

And maybe that was the reason that Charlie said what she did to Caleb after he confessed his love for her. Or maybe she finally understood that the statement was so true when she told him, "I don't deserve to be happy." Before anyone could respond to her comment, she ran away, clutching her dress. She ran through the lawn over to her own house. Before she unlocked the door and slipped inside, she saw Caleb staring at her from his doorway.

She spared one last glance and shut the door behind her.

Her mom and Crystal weren't in view, so she slumped down against the front door, and started to weep.

"Why are you so fucking emotional?" She scolded herself. "Stop crying, you wimp! It's for the best."

And then she pretended Caleb was in front of her, and she let out everything that she needed to say. "I'm sorry, Caleb. I'm sorry that you feel that way about me. I'm mostly sorry because I can never return those feelings for you. One day, you're gonna find a girl who can care about you the way you care about her. I'm sorry because that girl isn't me. I want to be in love again, Caleb. I know it's been three years. I do. I really do. But for some reason, I'm just not ready to be in a relationship yet." She paused.

"But... you... you're something else. Of course you have your flaws. Everyone does. You have your issues. And your obstacles. Just like the rest of us. But there's just some things that I need to figure out. With Lucas. With Oliver. With Kylie and Lucy. With... my father." Her voice cracked on the last word.

She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand, "But I love you too. And maybe one day, five years from now, if you're not with anyone, and I'm not with anyone, maybe we can give this a shot again. But right now, Caleb, it's for the best. It's for the best that you find a woman who loves you, and isn't broken. It's time that you find a woman who you can be truly happy with. Because, honestly, there's always going to be a sad, damaged, broken part of me that no one can fix. It's not too late for you though. You can be happy. And I swear to god, I will not be the one that holds you back from your happiness, Caleb Hughes. I will not be that person."

She continued laying behind the door crying. "Charlie I'm so sorry." A voice suddenly said.

Charlie sat up, startled. Crystal stepped out of the shadows in her kitchen. Charlie gulped, staring at her panda pajama shorts and tank top. She smiled because she realized Crystal was going to be okay. Crystal was so young when their father had left. So she wasn't as affected by the death as her mother and Charlie were.

Upon closer looking, Charlie realized Crystal had tears welling in her eyes. It must have hurt her sister to see Charlie in such a broken state. Charlie had always been strong in front of Crystal. She had never showed her how she truly felt. In fact, she'd never really shown anyone.

Charlie got up, shaking her head, and wiping her eyes. She went up to Crystal and wrapped her arms around her, crying on her shoulder. Crystal squeezed her sister. "I'm.. so, so sorry."

Charlie sighed, biting back more tears. "No one was supposed to hear that."

"I'm... sorry." Crystal's tears began pouring and Charlie pulled back giving her sister a concerned look. "Why are you sorry?" She asked.

"There's something I didn't tell you." She had the guiltiest look on her face as she turned her back to Charlie, who turned her back around. "What is it?" She asked hesitantly.

"Y-You... I'm sorry. You'll hate me after I tell you." She shook her head, feeling nauseous. Crystal put her hand over her mouth, deeply breathing. She licked her lips, shaking her head, "Oh my god. What have I done?" She asked herself.

Charlie knew something was horribly wrong as she saw her sister in this panicked, apologetic state. "What's going on?" She just barely whispered.

"I can't. I can't. I can't." Her sister mumbled over and over again. Charlie shook her shoulders aggressively. "Crissy. Just tell me what the hell you're talking about."

Crystal nodded. "Don't hate me, Charlie, please. I didn't mean to do it. It just slipped out of my mouth, and I just wanted to be closer to him. Like you used to be. I don't know why I didn't tell you before. I'm sorry, I just missed him so much. Oh god, I'm so sorry."

Charlie stepped back. She didn't try to put in the pieces that Crystal was talking to her about. She knew deep down who she was talking about, but she didn't want to. Because if she did, she wouldn't believe it. She wouldn't believe her sister could have done that. "Slow down." Charlie whispered. "You're not making any sense. Just spit it out, Crystal, because you're only making me more upset by beating around the bush."

"Okay." Crystal said. She ruffled her hair. Suddenly, footsteps approached the two. It was their mother, stumbling into the living room. "Girls? What are you doing up so late?" She whispered sleepily.

"Crystal's about to tell me something important." Charlie said, unsurely glancing at her sister.

"Oh god. I- I." Crystal stuttered. She took a deep breath, collected herself and said. "Mom, Charlie. I'm so sorry I didn't tell the two of you. I didn't mean for any of it to happen or to lie or to keep it a secret for so long, but..." She paused.

Her mother shot Crystal a concerned look, and Crystal said in a soft voice, "Dad called."