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You should feel terrified. Your blood should be running cold as you fear for your life. You should feel a lot of things.
She would never know how far back you two went. You had chosen WCKD, she had chosen her friends, and neither of you chose each other. There was no reason to keep that special bond that had spent so long being grown into an almost relationship.
She hadn't expected you would be the guard she was taking care of, but she didn't exactly mind. You had long since lost the title of friend and definitely any chance of being with her. While she thought she would feel some kind of rage flowing through her, all she felt was a bitter frustration.
“Is it bad that I'm kinda into you pointing a gun at me?”You question, looking into her deep brown eyes. She narrowed them at you as her face threatened to heat up. Keeping her weapon by your head, she glared at you. “I take that as a yes?”
“Yes. It is,”She said coldly. You couldn't help but shiver for a moment at your voice before throwing her a smirk that got her weak in the knees. For just a moment, she swore everything was the it always has, that it wouldn't be weird if she smashed her lips against yours.
As you kicked your feet in the dash, she was brought back to reality.
“I did love you, you know? In ways I never loved anybody else,”You admitted, not looking over at her.
“You sure had a funny way of showing it,”She spat.
“I know. I never was good with feelings. You were always the only one who could read me. I was like an open book to you,”You nodded, looking over at her. Her hands threatened to shake as her lips were pressed together into a thin line. “Now we're nothing.”
“It's not my fault you chose to betray us,”She spat.
“I didn't want to-” “It sure seems like it,”She interrupted, giving a humorless laugh.
“I want the world to be saved. I wanted something you never even thought about. People died horrible deaths, all the time, all around us, and we just let it happen. Our blood could save them, but we let them die. I wanted to make it right-” “And I wanted a girlfriend who loved me in all the ways I love her!”She screamed, her voice breaking at the end.
“But I was never yours, was I? There was always something more important, right?”You scowled, the pushed down hurt showing up.
“Y/N-” “You could never commit to me. There was always something in the way. At least with WCKD, at least with the goal, there's an endgame. There's something waiting in the future. That's a feeling I never had with you. Not once.”
“I did love you. I always loved you.”
“Then, why wouldn't you make me yours?”
You both stayed silent, a weapon still by your head as your faces were filled with pain. Neither of you spoke, but neither of you had to.
This goodbye was just as hurtful as the first. Somehow.
“Harriet, we need you in position,”Fry called over the radio. Regaining the ability to move, she pressed the receiver and said that she was on it before putting it back around her belt loops.
“Go, and don't you dare let me catch you again,”She warned, placing the weapon back by her side.
“I-I don't understand,”You sputtered out.
“Neither do I. Just go,”She repeated.
“Harriet-” Grabbing your face, she crashed her lips against yours. You froze in shock for a moment before slipping back into the feeling of kissing her. Wrapping your arms around her shoulders, you deepened the already passionate kiss, your bodies frantically pressed together in a fit of desperation.
“Harriet, where are you?”
With the moment being spoiled and reality yet again being brought, she slammed the door open and ran as far away from you as she could, getting ready for her next part while not quite completing her first task.
Slowly, you put your fingers to your lips as you shut your eyes, the feeling of Harriet already being replaced by emptiness. Oh, how you both wish things could be different.
You know that if you had the choice though, you would have still chosen the world over her. Kind of like how she constantly chose everything else over you.
