Breakeven (SeaChaos)

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I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing

I watched him walked out the door.

Just prayed to a God that I don't believe in

Both me knee's on the floor. Tears fall down my cheeks at a rapid pace. Then I had my head tilted at the sky, wondering what I did wrong.

'Cause I got time while he got freedom

Now I'm stuck remembering the past. All the good memories we made, the ones that put a smile to my face. The ones that slowly make my heart break.

'Cause when a heart breaks, no, it don't break even

Now everyday I cry myself to sleep. Remembering the words he told me with his beautiful smile, " Its me not you."

His best days were some of my worst

Now I see him on the news, with a girl in his arms. I just put my head down and sob. It's during these times I think of the bad memories, the ones when we had a fight and I ran away. He came to find me soon after, apologizing and being the man I fell in love with.

He finally met a girl that's gonna put him first

I wonder if she treats him better? Maybe she can cook better than me? Maybe she massages his feet when he comes home from work? At this point I don't know, all I can do is list things I did wrong.

While I'm wide awake he's no trouble sleeping

At night I picture his face. Always beautiful and peaceful, unlike mine which is scared and awake.

Cause when a heart breaks no it don't break even... even... no

I've learned now he's at the very top, the big boss at his job. He even proposed to his now fiancé. Everybody says it was a beautiful scene, at a fancy restaurant. Violins were playing and a tiny waterfall was running. They say she had tears in her eyes as she said yes. In any other time, if I chased after you, could that be us?

What am I supposed to do when the best part of me was always you?

Now I mope around the house, 2 years later. I haven't heard from you since the day you walked out the door. Now anything I try I remember you helping, the smile you always had while telling me what to do. Then when I did it, you'd give me a good job kiss. I wonder what you'd say when you saw the cold man you created.

And what am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're OK?

All day I stare at the door. All my friends have left me saying I should just get over it. While you have friends with trillions and laughing with your champagne. Just the thought of it makes me smile, you always wanted to be the best.

I'm falling to pieces, yeah,

The smile then turns to a frown as I realized it wasn't me who helped you get there.

I'm falling to pieces

Then the frown turns to a sob session. The picture of you and her are engraved into my head. Now when I close my eyes on one eye lid is you and the other is her. I wonder if that's what keeps me up? That is the question I'd end up asking myself.

They say bad things happen for a reason

I've gotten to the point of 4 years after the breakup. I'm now with a girl named Jess, and I can cry silent tears while wide awake at night, you could say that's an improvement. All my mind has gone to is, maybe it was fate. Maybe we were meant to break up, so you could hit it big time and I could always be in the back.

But no wise words gonna stop the bleeding

Now at 6 years later me and Jess have broke up, and they say you got a divorce. I wonder if it was because of me, I then brush the thought off. As my old man would say, don't put your faith where it don't belong.

Cause he's moved on while I'm still grieving

I'm in depression currently and I don't know how to get out. The fact that the rumors say he is hooking up with other people doesn't help, but digs a bigger hole.

And when a heart breaks no it don't break even, even... no

While he still has my heart, I wonder if he even left me a piece of his.
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Should they be longer? Also this was in Anthony's POV.

Edit: THERE IS A PART 2, IT IS CALLED FLARES

(Sorta Edited, 782 Words)

~Marsh

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