A Story. (Phan)

10

((WARNING: mentions of standing on a bridge??))

Dan

I was standing on the edge of London bridge. The wind was blowing into my back and the raindrops were mixing with my tears. The sky was dark grey, almost black, and so was the water below me. I had a lump in my throat, but I knew exactly what I wanted to do. And it was now or never. I tilted my head back, so the rain hit my face. My hair was a mess and my clothes were soaked, but it didn't matter. Nothing mattered anymore.

This was the end.

I took a deep breath in. I was ready to jump.

But before I could do it-

I woke up.

I realized that I've been crying in my sleep, because my pillow was soaked wet.

I couldn't see clearly, because my eyes were so puffy from crying and they burned like hell.

I sighed and slowly got up. I didn't feel like doing anything. It was worthless. Without Phil here, everything was worthless.

I walked to the door, but before I reached it, I felt something crumble under my foot. It was a small white piece of paper.

I picked it up and turned it around. It was a note, obviously written in rush, but the writing was still recognizable.

Phil.

But then again, who else could it be?

I took a deep breath in. This was probably the last words I will ever hear, I mean, read from him.

Dan, I'm leaving now. I don't know if I will ever see you again. I just want you to know something - and please, believe me for the one last time. Daniel James Howell, I love you. I want to explain everything, but theres just too much to explain, and I don't have much time left. I just wanted to tell you that I love you one last time, because it's true and nothing is ever going to change that.

Your Phil x

My tears were falling down on the paper, smudging the ink. My hands started shaking. I crumbled the note into a ball and threw it across the room. I collapsed on my knees.

This man entered my life when I started watching his videos. And I loved him ever since. When he first noticed me, I felt like the luckiest person ever. But then he actually started talking to me. He made me so happy from the very beginning. His cute comments, the four-hour skype calls, it all made me so happy. And then we actually met. In real life. And thats when my love for him grew even stronger. He convinced me to start making videos on youtube and soon, we started filming them together. And two years later, we moved in together. As a teenage fangirl, I would never even imagine this happening, but it did. We were best friends, but I always had feelings for him. But then one day, I realized that he had feelings for me too. He kissed me, and I was the happiest I've ever been. But then...

Then she happened.

Catherine.

Well, me and Phil have been together for about two months after they kissed, and we were really happy. I was very happy. Those were the best two months of my life. I woul change nothing about that time, because it was perfect.

But then she showed up again. And that was when I realized that this has been going on all the time. That to Phil, our relationship meant nothing. And then they announced it. They have been in a relationship all along. Phil has actually been cheating on me. I honestly couldn't be more broken. I realized that those two months were actually fake. They weren't so perfect aftee all.

Maybe it was for the best that he was moving in with her. I couldn't stand him anyway.

I just can't believe this happened again.