Online Dating | Shawn + MAGCon (boyxboy)

VIII

Going to school with puffy eyes. I think that people are starting to think I get abused at home due to these bruises on my neck and these red eyes.

I just really want another boy to hold me and tell me I will find the one even though I am certain I never will. I am over attached, I get very clingy, I don't know how to give myself or others a break.

I got to class with my hood up. I was receiving a phone call from Sammy but didn't answer it, funny thing was that his contact name was labeled as Aesthetic Daddy ♡ but that doesn't mean anything to me anymore, at all.

He started to text giving me that bullshit nickname, Baby Boy, or even worse-- making me regret telling him to call me this-- he texts Shawnie.

I turn off my phone before getting into class. Some people gave me stares as I walked into class. It was common considering I was one of the ten percent population of gays in this school, but still, this much was a little too much.

Girls stood up and started to hug me. One of them put their hands on my cheeks and stared at me for a few seconds before brining me into their embrace.

Sighs and whispers of 'sorry' kept swaying as it was like a meet and greet for girls to come up to me one by one.

"Wait? What's with the symphony?" I asked abruptly after the final bell rang. I headed to my desk and the guy aside me spoke. "Dude. Most of the girls saw some video of you crying yesterday."

"Oh.."

I didn't think I would get views for it. I needed to speak my mind and as of this moment I don't regret it actually. I am glad I posted it because people don't deserve to feel heartbroken.

I turned around and look at the girls waving at me, I see some guys rolling their eyes. An attractive one in the back gives me a weak smile-- Nash. I find it weird because he never talked to me, never even looked at me or acknowledged me.

But that's how school is. You have people in your school who are just school mates, people in your school who are just classmates. We are all just students who couldn't literally give less of a fuck for another.

"Shawn?" The guy aside me spoke. "We need to share half a paper she says."

••••

During break I was hardcore creeping, looking for Taylor since my phone was still off. I didn't want to turn it on, I would probably get a ton of sympathy and I didn't want to look at Sammy's messages.

I decided to stand by Taylor's class after break because maybe he'd pass by there. Time after time of waiting, I decided to go to the restroom. I needed to sit alone if I didn't have Taylor. Gladly, I saw him by the water fountain before getting in.

"Taylor..." I crossed my arms. "Hey Shawnie..." I felt weak and wanted to drop and cry right in front of him-- and he could tell. He gathered his arms and let me bury myself in his warmth. I was tucked in so tight that I could hear his heart beat and feel his chest going up and down.

He attempted to walk me somewhere private but I kept dragging on the floor. "Shawn you need to help yourself." I sighed and let go of him. I walked hand in and with Taylor to the back of the school, where there's a garden in the field.

"So... people are giving me a lot of shit for what I did yesterday. Good and bad." I vented. He looked confused. "What did you do?" I sighed and took his phone from his front pocket-- still wanting to grab that bulge if his like always. I sat on the floor and looked for my video. I inched my hand upwards so he would get in reach of the phone for him to watch.

I but my cheeks on my hands as I propped my elbows on my knees, looking at the ants crawl by. A shadow covered my gaze only to see Taylor sitting down with me.