Losing Control✓ (New Adult Romance)

Chapter Twelve

"You're shivering," says Lex.

"It's cold out here," I say. We've been out here for at least an hour, maybe longer, just talking about the stars and the future and all the things college kids aren't supposed to care about.

"Well maybe if you'd put some meat—" Lex's voice suddenly cuts off. He balks at me with lips pressed tightly together.

"It's okay," I say. He was about to say I needed to put some meat on my bones, and it wouldn't have been the first time I've been told that.

"No, it isn't," says Lex. "I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking. I didn't mean that. I mean, I did, or no, I didn't."

I laugh through my teeth, hoping he won't hear the insincerity beneath it.

"It's okay, I get it," I say. "I'm too skinny. I need to gain weight. You're not the first person to say it."

Lex scuffs his shoe against the lower porch step. A dubstep song blares from the basement, so loud I'm sure the cops will be called.

"How are you doing, by the way?" asks Lex. "Or am I not supposed to ask that?"

I suck my lips between my teeth and stare out at the surrounding fence. Even after suffering from anorexia for months, nobody ever asked how I was. My parents and friends and Wes...they all seemed frightened of me, as if asking the wrong question would send me into a tsunami of self-starvation. Then again, maybe it would have.

"You can ask that," I say finally. But of course, I lie, "I'm doing much better now."

"That's good," says Lex, exhaling loudly. "If you ever need anything, anything at all, you can talk to me."

"Thanks," I say.

"I feel like you don't believe me," says Lex. He twists his body toward me and grabs my nearest hand. The heat from his skin tingles against my pores. "I really mean it. I want you to be healthy, Addie."

His words filter through my ears, but like the music, I don't fully hear them. I rock forward, cupping my hands beneath my feet. Lex doesn't say anything, but I can hear his steady breath, silently waiting.

Before I am forced to answer, the back door opens with a pop. A drunken giggle sprouts from behind us.

"There you are!" squeals Rebecca. "I've been looking everywhere for you."

Lex and I both turn to see a very drunken Rebecca. She clutches a bottle of vodka in one hand and a can of Sprite in the other. Her eyes float over me, but then, they slowly come into focus.

"And you found Addie," she says with a sloppy smile. "That's great. Good for you, Lex."

Lex scratches his nose.

"Where'd you get that?" he asks, nodding toward the vodka.

"One of the frat boys," says Rebecca. She wriggles her hips and makes a kissy pout with her lips. "What can I say, pretty girls get free liquor."

"Well, I think you've had enough," says Lex. He gently rises from the steps and walks toward Rebecca, almost as if approaching a rabid dog. "You want to give me the bottle?"

"I'm not a baby, Lex," says Rebecca. She stumbles past him and plops in the spot beside me. "But I'm not gonna drink anymore. This can be for Addie."

She swings the vodka in front of my face like she's trying to hypnotize me. I stare at the clear liquid, trying not to think about the calories. But it's impossible not to. Alcohol is known for being empty calories, and I'm sure vodka is no exception. It's likely filled with disgusting calories. If I drink even a shot, I'll be forcing thick fat into my body.