Losing Control✓ (New Adult Romance)

Chapter Eighteen

 When Lex and I get back to the campus, I scuttle off the bike and call a goodbye to Lex over my shoulder. I don't ask if he needs help loading the bikes into his truck or if he wants to come into my dorm—I just jog up to the building and swipe my way through the door. My entire body pulses with agitation and embarrassment, feeling utterly stupid for once again throwing myself Lex, only to be rejected. What a loser. What a freak.

"Hey, how was Lex?" asks Rebecca when I walk through the door. "Did you have a super sexy time?"

I shoot a glare in her direction, even though I know she had nothing to do with Lex finding out about my kiss with Wes. She quirks an eyebrow but doesn't say anything, nor does she follow when I storm into my bedroom.

My bed has never looked more inviting or appealing than it does right now. I burrow myself beneath the covers, tucking them all the way to my chin. It's too hot to be beneath all these blankets, but I want to feel like a small child who doesn't have any of the problems I do. I pinch shut my eyes and count to twenty, letting myself drift into a restless sleep.

When I awaken, no more than twenty minutes later, my body is covered in a sheen of sweat and my hair is tangled around my face. My phone keeps buzzing—probably the cause of my disrupted sleep. I hold the phone over my face and squint at the illuminated screen.

WES: hey addie, you want to catch a movie tonight?

I groan and throw my phone to the end of the bed, smiling when it smacks against the wall. Good. Maybe it's broken.

Even though I have no idea what's going on between me and Lex, I know there's nothing between me and Wes, not anymore. It's not because he's a bad person—he's just not the right person. He wasn't made to be with someone as dark and twisted as I am. Wes belongs with someone bright and happy, someone who is a constant ball of sunshine and joy. An uncomplicated girl.

I slowly crawl to a sit, padding around the bed until I find my phone. I stare at Wes's text message for a solid two minutes before typing out a response.

ME: Actually, can you come over now? I need to talk to you.

WES: ...that doesn't sound good

ME: I'll explain when you get here.

Wes starts typing again, but I drop my phone back into the covers, not willing to have this conversation over the phone. It's going to be ugly enough as it is.

In the time it takes Wes to get here (all of five minutes), I pace the floor until my footsteps leave a miniature trench in my rug. Every few seconds, it crosses my mind that if I officially break things off with Wes, I could end up all alone. But maybe that's better—maybe that's the way it should be.

"Addie!" calls Rebecca, so suddenly I jump. "Your ex-boyfriend is here to see you!"

"Coming," I say, but I hesitate at my closed door. He promised he is different, that he has changed—what if he really has? I shake my head, forcing the conflicting thoughts from my skull. Then, I push through the door and plaster a smile onto my face.

"Hey, Wes," I say. "We can go into my room, if you want."

Rebecca raises both eyebrows, shooting me a suspicious stare. I want to shake my head and mouth we're not having sex, but I'm afraid Wes would see my message, too.

"Yeah, okay," says Wes.

He looks good today. Basketball shorts and a loose T-shirt with an expensive pair of basketball shoes. He's so different than Lex, almost juvenile.