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It had been too long. It was Thursday and I still had not seen Hollie. I know she had been in school because she had the project with Robert that she had been working on; that was the only time I saw her. She was clearly avoiding me. I despised it. I hated it more because it just gave me time to think about stupid I had been.

It seemed that the more I tried to find Hollie, the harder she became to find. I remembered when we weren't close and both of us didn't like each other; I would bump into her everywhere, there wouldn't be a class I could walk to without seeing her. Why was it different now?

Lunch quickly rolled around, I wandered into the stuffy cafeteria and looked around for my blonde haired girl. She was nowhere to be seen. She wasn't sat at the normal table, in the centre of the room. There was no sign of her at any other table, or at the counter getting food. Come to think of it, she was never there getting food.

Quickly, I grabbed a pack of crisps and walked towards the back of the room; there was an exit for the field there.

"Hey Luke," I heard a familiar, sickening voice call. I didn't want to turn around but I knew I had to.

"What do you want Milly? Believe it or not, I have somewhere I need to be." A noise quickly escaped her pink lips, something I could only guess was supposed to be a scoff.

"Oh come on Luke, don't you think we've noticed you're not hanging out with you girlfriend recently. If that's who you're supposed to be with, you just missed her. We saw her head out the front of the school, I don't think she has a last lesson." I wanted to hit her and me, of course she'd left. Now I looked like a twat in front of Milly and her 'gang'.

"Luke!" Calum yelled, thank god.

"Sorry I can't hang around, I have friends, that's where I need to be. Not here wasting my time with you," I spat at her. She looked at me, shocked and vexed, I had just proved her wrong; even though she was right.

"Thank you for that Cal," I whisper, walking towards him.

"No problem. What did she want?" he asked, nodded his head towards Milly, who was walking away.

"To take the piss. She knows that I haven't been with Hollie recently," I explained, his smile dropped.

"What's going on there, mate? You haven't spoken to me or Mikey a lot about it. You and Ashton are more distant than ever and you're not talking to your girlfriend; if that's what she even is anymore," he said, my heart ached at his last words.

"I was a dick," I replied, simply. I heard him let out a sigh before walking over to the table outside. I followed.

"Hey bro," Michael called as I sat down opposite him. I nodded my response.

"Come on Luke, tell us what's up, we're your best mates," Calum continued. It was my turn to sigh. I saw Michael sit forward in his seat, ready for my gossip.

"At the end of the night, Hollie got a phone call off of Ashton saying her parents condition had changed." I watched as their bodies tensed but I carried on. "I was going to take her there and support her, because I knew it would take a lot out of her, but she said that she didn't know if she wanted me to be there and so told Ashton he should take her," I said. Their eyes widened.

"That must've had a knock on you," Calum whispered, not really wanting me to hear.

"Yeah it did. So we were in the car, sat in silence and she hugs me goodbye - I don't return it - I know it wasn't the right thing to do but her explanation pissed me off because Ashton completely contradicted it all." I took at break. "I knew I had been a dick so I went to see her that night. She doesn't sleep very well so I know that she'd be awake. Anyway, I knock and after like 5 minutes Ashton opens the door. In those shorts he said he lost and no top." I realised I had been holding my breath so I let out the air trapped in my lungs. "I didn't think much of it, I mean Ash is my mate, he probably was sleeping on the couch. But then Hollie walked out and complained that Ashton had left her cold," I practically hissed the last bit. I don't think repeating it helped, at all.

"Ouch," Michael replied. I rolled my eyes.

"Yeah but Luke, you knew Ashton wouldn't do anything, he's your mate and Hollie's. He knows you make Hollie happy and vice versa. He wouldn't do that to you. It was probably friendly. I bet Kaela was even in the bed," Calum reasoned.

"I know, but I saw red and lashed out. When Hollie told me to leave... you didn't see her face or hear her voice. She was scared of me. I hated it so much. It made me realise that no matter what she did... I couldn't be the reason she was upset. I've tried so hard to see her, to speak to her and make things right but I can't. It's tearing me up," I told them.

"Dude, it sounds like you like her a lot more than any of us thought you did." I knew Michael was right. I liked Hollie more than I thought I could ever like a girl. Before her I didn't even think I could ever properly like a girl. That was why I became so easily anxious. I was scared. I was scared that all the shit I had done to girls in the past was going to come back and bite me in the ass. That the girl I loved would just toss me to the side; like I had done so many times.

"I really like her..."

"Do you lover her?" I heard Calum ask me, his eyes not completely focused on me. I didn't even find myself hesitating. I nodded.

"But what if she doesn't feel the same? What if karma comes and kicks my ass? What if what I've done in the past to girls, she does to me? What if-" I didn't get to finish.

"They're all what if's Luke," Calum said, his hand running through his hair. I knew that meant that he was stressed, I didn't want to stress him out but I couldn't help myself.

"You need to talk to her. Go to her place, it's not like she can avoid you at home," Michael suggested. I praised him and got up, prepared to go straight there. However they both immediately reminded me I had a last lesson that I needed to attend.

If there was an award for slowest and dullest lesson, the one I was walking out of now would've won, hands down. There wasn't a moment that I wanted or did learn, every minute felt like 20 and the whole hour felt longer than the rest of the day combined.

As soon as I had finished I ran to my car. Sending the boys a quick wave before speeding off. It didn't take me long to get there, but it felt longer than usual. Everywhere there could be traffic, there was and my mind elongated it all.

The trip to her modern white door was more daunting than ever. I couldn't remember a time where I had been more nervous to talk to anyone. My nerves were taking over me; questions running through my mind.

Shaking, my hand tapped on the door, just loud enough to be heard throughout the empty house. No answer.

I knocked again. No answer. There was no way that she wouldn't answer the door, she didn't know it was me; she couldn't know it was me. It could've been Ashton, or Kaela or even her parents. If she was in, she would answer.

She wasn't in.

I checked the lights; none were on.

She wasn't in.

There was only one place she could be if she wasn't at home.

She was at the cliff.

A/N: right so I'm on holiday and I have no wifi at all, only when I go out. I'm writing when I don't have wifi and uploading when I go to restaurants. It sucks I know, but I hope you like the chapter. It's all Luke's P.O.V if you didn't get that :) hope you like the change

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