Moving In || l.r.h

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The door loomed in-front of me like a 500 foot wall. It was the last obstacle and was proving the hardest to conquer. I had never felt so small in my life and I suddenly found interest in everything that was around me. I looked up, something I had never done before, and saw that there was a lantern lighting up the porch. I looked to my side and saw that the pink flowers were beginning to darken around the edges, their green leaves rising up towards where the sun would have been if it was no longer dark.

I had spent the rest of the day at the beach with Kaela and Ashton, determined to get my mind off of the 'news' whilst I still could. It wasn't much use and I noticed myself snapping at Calum and Michael but I tried to apologize straight after. Part of me knew they understood. They understood because they knew something I didn't. They even accepted it because they believed this news was big enough to allow me to be a bitch to them. That almost scared me more than the look on Ashton's face when he realized he had spilled something that was forbidden, for now.

Now I was stood in front of Luke's door trying to convince myself to knock. Part of me wanted nothing more than to kick down his door and scream in his face. The other part wanted to run far away, away from him and away from the pain I knew he was about to cause me. I don't know when I had given him the power to hurt me in the way I knew he could but he had it now, it was something I regretted more than anything. I didn't want to go in there. I could not lift my hand to the door. So I opened my phone instead. I clicked on the first name in my contacts and rang. There was deafening silence in between the rings and it dragged out for longer than any other phone ring in the world but eventually I heard rustling in the background and I knew he had picked up.

"I'm outside."

The slow motion cut out as soon as the door handle moved.

He was wearing nothing but his basketball shorts. Over the past six months his body had got increasingly toned and his shoulders were even more broad. I could stand in front of him and anyone behind wouldn't know I was there. His arms were thicker, even his legs were better. He was fitter, healthier, happier. But the look he wore on his face contradicted the six months of improvement. His eyes were crimson and shining, contrasted by the darkness of the underneath; so prominent it could've been makeup. His hair stuck up in every way possible but was also flat to his head and greasy, his hands had been through it too many times. Even the way he stood portrayed his feelings. He wasn't stood up straight like usual but hunched almost at his shoulders, his hands linked together in front of him and his left foot kicking at the side of the door as we both stood there in silence. My heart sank as he looked up from his hands to me. He was broken.

Every part of me that wanted to scream at him flew away as I looked into his wet, blue eyes. Slowly I moved towards him and into the house. Neither of us said a word but I tucked myself into his chest and slowly, as he shut the door, his arms closed around me. I nuzzled my head into his shoulder and wrapped my arms around his waist, my hands landing in between his shoulder blades.

"I love you," I whispered into him. His chest shook slightly and I finally pushed myself off of him, my hands remaining just on his chest. I tilted my head in suggestion to go to his room and he slowly closed his eyes in recognition. Hand in hand we walked up the stairs and into his room without a word being spoken.

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

"I'm sorry." He knew that I had been with Kaela and the boys, I was almost certain he had received a text asking for his whereabouts when I was there and he wasn't; especially after Ashton's accidental spill.

I moved away from him. I knew that I would need to be as far as possible to try and process what he was about to tell me. I sank into his chair in the corner of the room and watched as he sat down on his bed, once again crossing his fingers between each other and staring down at them. I continued to be silent. He would talk when he wanted, that much I had learned in the past few months. Several times his mouth opened and closed, trying to find the words to say. Finally he settled on something.

"We're moving." There was a long pause. "My dad told me yesterday that he got a job back in Australia and he accepted, thinking it would be good for everyone to get back home. I shouted at him, I yelled at him, I tried to convince him to let us stay, that everyone was happy here but he can't back out of this deal. Everyone hates the idea because everyone is happy and at home here. I hadn't told you yet because I just didn't know how. I don't want to hurt you, I don't want you to be upset yet, but I know you will probably be more mad now. I just thought maybe we could have some happy times before I leave without the thought of it over both of us, you know? I thought that maybe by avoiding it somehow it made it less real."

"How long? How long do we have left?"

"Don't say it like that... we're not going to end just because I'm moving away, I'll get a job while I'm out there and save enough money to come back and buy an ap-"

"How long do we have Luke?" I asked again, my voice breaking but remaining firm.

"13 days."

Nothing could have prepared me for this. I had to let go of Luke, who had become one of the most important people in my life over the past few months, second only to Kaela who I had known my whole life. He had helped me with work, school, he had encouraged me to become a stronger person with my parents and people like Milly. He taught me that I was worth loving. And now he was going.

I wasn't stupid I knew that long-distance relationships could work but I also wasn't blind. Luke was attractive; girls practically drooled as they passed him. I remember when he briefly described his life when he was last in Australia; how he had no regard for girls and how he used them, tore through them like a hurricane. He hadn't even really hit puberty then. No matter how many times he told me he loved me, I knew there was more attractive girls then me, it was a fact and denying those girls would be a lot harder without me around. Sure, it would be easy at first but after a month? Two? When he realized that talking without any contact or physicality isn't what he wanted or needed, what then?

~

Throughout the night we discussed everything. He reassured me countless times that my thoughts wouldn't happen and I came up with countless counter-arguments. We were going in circles and it seemed that we weren't going to get out of it without dropping the subject altogether.

"We can't just ignore this Luke. It's a pretty big fucking elephant in the room," I said to him, after his third attempt at suggesting we forget this was ever brought up.

"Don't you think I fucking know that Hollie? I have been going insane trying to figure this out. I have thought of every possibility and everything I suggest you shoot down. I love you!" He stopped pacing around the room and stood still in front of me, looking down at me looking at my hands. He fell to his knees inches from me and I finally looked him in the eyes for the first time since he opened the door to me. He took one of my hands in his and the placed the other behind my head, supporting me. "That is not going to disappear just because I move to Australia for a few months. I haven't felt this way about anyone before. Not one girl has ever made me feel the way you do okay? Don't you fucking get that? It will work because we will make it work. So can you please just fucking forget it. If not at all then just for tonight. I want to spend tonight with my fucking gorgeous girlfriend and talk about aliens and look at the stars. Not watching you cry and getting into these arguments because I hate it, I am torn up... I can't do-" I pulled him towards me with my fingers tangled in his hair and immediately his lips met mine.

"Okay," I whispered into him as I backed away. As he pulled away he lifted me with him and carried me to the bed. I took off my top and shorts and waited for him to join me.

He held my hand as we lay face to face and rubbed my palm with his thumb. His warmth radiated through me and suddenly I felt okay again, if only for tonight. I knew it wouldn't last but the thought seemed to wash away from my memory as I focused on his touch, on the beat of his heart and of the heaviness of his breathing. I became completely and totally wrapped up in Luke. Nothing else mattered, not tonight.

"I love you too."

A/N: Okay so this is the penultimate chapter, the next one will be a long one but it will be the finale. I'm sorry that I keep making you wait for so long but I hope this makes up for it. After the last chapter I will probably do an epilogue but then that will be it and I can't believe it's coming to an end.

Anyway, as always please let me know what you guys thought of this chapter or whatever and I'll do my best to try and improve the last chapter for your feedback :)