Living Nightmare | m.y.g (angst/smut)

Chapter 30 - Dark Street ◆

Three days ago...

Sometimes, it's good to walk in the dark alone. You get to think about the ways to clear things that bother you. Especially right now, the tender touch of the breeze is soothing. It somehow put out the burning emotion in my chest.

Feeling the chilling breeze in my face, I took a deep breath to cool my distress heart. "Soothing," I said contentedly.

That boy Yoongi, he wasn't lying when he said he doesn't love me. I want to believe his actions but his words stood strong in my head. It's so vile, he doesn't seem to mind my feelings, he just wasted it, on the other hand, all I do is mind his. I was always the one who please him, in this relationship, I am the most rational. Can you even call this a relationship? Are we real? Ha. Minju was right, I'm his past time. Tell me what's the exact idea of a relationship. Two people attracted to each other? Or two people with an existing sexual bond? I'm confused. What does our relationship have? Pure attraction? Or sexual desire? It hurt. I hope for a true love, not lust. Why does he treat me this way?

Buzz-buzz. A continuous sound of my vibrating phone woke me from my subconsciousness.

"Who the mother fucking hell are you? You see, I'm having a good walk. A walk wherein I'm very far from the people who screw my life. Hey, who are you again? It says you're unknown here. Are you here to fuck me up too? Oh please no no no because I'm having a great life at the moment, and... and..."

"Noona, stop that! Are you drunk? Where are you?!" The voice on the other line freaked out. "Me? Drunk? I never drink, even though I have heavy problems to face, I never dare to drink. Who are you anyway? Why are you calling me Noona?"

The line turns quiet for awhile. "This is V. Noona, come home now. Where are you?"

"Ha. Loser bro, stop dreaming. Bye!"

I turn my phone off to refrain me from being disturbed. I continue walking. My face burning strangely from the impact of the drink in my hand, good thing the wind was somehow helping, putting it out.

"Ha. Idiot, I'm not drunk." I throw the bottle sideway.

I heave a deep sigh as realizations came flooding in, and with that, I felt myself mewl, my mouth let out a heavy sigh. Soon, my eyes pricked with tears. I cry silently, holding my mouth to somehow stop me from whining loudly.

Yoongi doesn't notice me. He doesn't notice my worth. It's pathetic to realize I keep chasing for something I couldn't catch. My life is ruined, and given another chance to straighten it, it was ruined a second time around. My dear, what do I still have? He stole everything away from me. He left me nothing, not even a bit of pride remains. It's just unfair, I give my all but I take partial. Partial? I feel like I take nothing in this relationship but pain and shame and I endured all of it without protest. That's the obligation I pay for being a loving girlfriend. Does he even know his obligation to me?

Yoongi really, he's the kind of guy I can't move on with. I love him so much I want to die for him. I want to risk everything just for him. I can give away my life just for his wish to be granted. How awful I get no compensation for it. But with those kisses, touches and sudden hugs I get, why do I feel like I'm loved at that moment? Was it for a show? Or was it real?

I feel embraced with his little touch, I feel loved with his kiss, I feel special with his sudden hugs, isn't it love? It is, right?

"Hi."

I bobbed my head upward to see the tall man standing a meter away on my right.

"Hi." And I walk quickly. "Hey, do you not want to ask what my name is?" He inquired, his voice not so creepy.