Living Nightmare | m.y.g (angst/smut)

Chapter 53 - Gone ◆

I spent three days of sulking and crying my lungs out since Jungkook's death was confirmed. Poor heart, it can't keep up with my body's simultaneous breakdown. I locked myself inside my room, taking a breather from the seemingly endless task of sorting through days of stuff stored in my emotion, add this conscience that was bothering the guilt. Making me wanting to put myself in for the blame.

I couldn't take my mind away from discerning Jungkook's antics. He chose me. He chose to invest his emotions on me. He'd rather I break his heart if that means I'll be happy because I have given him enough happiness to make it all worth it.

I was sure I've loved him, but it wasn't exchanged in a way that felt likely in his favor. It's true; you'll never know someone's worth until he's gone and you'd never realize it until you miss him. Is there anything we can do to change that? It's a stupid norm people conform to just because they haven't found the worth on someone's presence, wrongly, I was one.

Jungkook's burial came to this day. The day we've been waiting for but the day I wouldn't want to wake up on. But a soft knock on the door did it, making me look up from being curled up in a ball while I hug my knees and weep. My mood didn't really allow my system to speak to anyone. Even Yoongi, I must be this hurt and guilty to punish myself deprivation. But he didn't stop checking up on me. I know he's there, so close but only blocked by the barrier I put up by so-called punishment. I was selfish, I didn't see that coming until I came to my consciousness.

"Who's that?" I softly called out to ask.

"Taehyung." The boy in the back of the closed door softly speak.

I took a deep sigh before hovering the blanket away from my body. Ignoring my pair of slippers, I headed towards the door to welcome him. All this time, I didn't know I needed someone to comfort me until Taehyung gave me a warm hug. The unwanted longing came back but his warmth shielded me against the threatening loneliness.

"I heard you've been stuck here since-"

"Don't say it. I don't want to hear it." I inserted immediately to avoid hearing the 'D' word. He pulled me to him to engulf me deeper, knowing it's best to get the warming feeling of the gesture.

He gently pushed me off him and led me to the bed, him and I sat next to each other. He placed my hand on the loop of his arm, making me clutch onto him while we have a conversation. He then pushed his feet to bounce on my own.

"I went to the hospital to get the result of the postmortem." He said slowly, making me physically shuffle and emotionally adjust to the shifting of the news.

"What happened?" I asked eagerly, my eyes searching his. Eliminating the faint-hope from my intuition of what I assumed a foul play on the incident.

A small crack of stern grin splayed across his face, shallowly giving me an impression of modest judgment.

"It wasn't an accident. He committed suicide." I gasped skeptically. But then the duration of the thought after it was registered was temporary. I had it in mind that everything revealed about him has to be anticipated. "He fucking overdosed himself on his way home. He lost consciousness while driving." He grunted aggressively. The poison in his words stung me like a numbing syringe. I placed my hand on his and laid my head on his shoulders.

It all made sense, he killed himself for his sole purpose of self. "He cowers in life by ending it. I didn't know he'd be as low as that." He added. "And he had his heart entitled to Jimin's sister even before the accident happened. He made his death. The decision itself was wrong." He muttered under his breath. Taehyung's expiration brought my head in a gentle up and down motion, the relaxing feel reached my heart that's covered with rust made by days of paralyzing it.