Irresistibly Sweet

Messing with the Gang

Sven Wilson

Ugh. Just. UGH.

Why'd this moron have to find me? I thought I covered my tracks well enough to have him searching long enough to finally force him to give up...

Normally three weeks would be a clear sign that the other party really doesn't want anything to do with the other but...

Seth just had to be a dense idiot.

Look at him, bitching at me for leaving his sorry ass like a poor betrayed soul confronting his traitor of a lover while showing him the broken pieces of his shattered heart.

Blech.

What a load of shit. He. Sucked. Every time we were together, he'd tie me up in chains with his nonstop mouth and drag me to the places he wanted to go to, and did the things only he enjoyed. He NEVER listened to me. When I entered a "relationship" with him, I made it pretty damn clear that I won't be serious, and that I'm not in love with him or anything. Shit man, he asked me out. I went along with it while warning him beforehand! And yet this crap happened.

And the sex? Ugh. Just forget it. He won't even be able to satisfy a dried up prune if you ask me. Sex with him is a fucking poke and a wiggle. I'm not kidding.

But you probably don't want to hear any of that do you people?

Anyway, he's fussing over me right now because of my ugly nose, no thanks to Tyler the bastard. Seriously man? Why did you do this to me?

"Seth. Shut. The. Fucking. Up," I growled.

"Just tell me who did this to you and---"

"Stop fucking treating me like a girl!" I roared. "Now get out of here before I kick your ass."

"Are you kidding me? Sven I need to talk to you about that. I don't know what your problem is but if you just tell me--"

"YOU are the problem. And I already told you what the problem is when I broke up with you. You just never listen, dickhead," I snapped, shoving him away from me. I was aware that everyone in the room was staring and that they were shocked or something. But all I wanted to do was to get this fucker away.

"Sven!" Seth pressed angrily. "This is what I'm talking about! I'm ready to listen to you if you just go to my place and--"

"Let go of me Seth. Or I will beat the crap outta you," I warned, already tired of his whining. And the nerve of this guy, inviting me over to his place so we could "talk." Bullshit.

"Sven I--"

WHAM.

And there goes his only redeeming quality. His face.

Damn. The dude got knocked out in one go. I sighed and glanced around at everyone's shocked expression. Smiling I said, "Excuse me while I drag his body into a cab."

I hauled his dead weight onto my back and walked out of the house, smiling flirtatiously at some of the freaked out maids who still swooned even under the strange circumstances of their guest carrying an unconscious man over his back. I whistled nonchalantly as I got out of the house and walked down the road (damn this dude is heavy) and finally called a cab. I deleted my former number from his phone so that I could use it again and deleted all the other creepy information he had on me as well as the pictures he took while I was asleep. I wrote a note as a final warning for him not to come after me again or else he'll end up losing all his teeth.

Now just to be clear, I didn't break up with him with as much cruelty as I'm giving him now. I gave him a call, knowing full well that direct confrontation would be fruitless and would only end up with me losing patience and kicking his persistent ass. So I called him. Tried to have a decent conversation, explained to him that it really won't work, and that I'm tired of it already, answering his sad questions of why, how, is there someone else, and stuff.