Blue Coffee Mugs and the Agoraphobic [boyxboy] ✔

Blue Coffee Mugs

ONE

Man, it's difficult to figure out how to start. I've never been good at opening lines of books, or first impressions, or anything that comes before the punchline of a joke. But let's give it a shot and hope for the best.

My name is Alan Anthony Ashby and I am sixteen years old. I live in the U.S.A with my family, consisting of my older brother and sister and both of my parents. I guess I'll start off with some basic information (other than my name, etc.) about myself.

I am in love with books. Everything from Harry Potter and Of Mice And Men, to surreal science-fiction. Due to my agoraphobia I barely ever leave the house. I don't think that's particularly bad though. From what I've seen, heard and read, most people out there aren't that great anyways. I'm also sort of afraid of them.

Staying home (alone) a lot, also gives me plenty of time to read and write. I've been online-schooled ever since my agoraphobia has gotten bad.

Here's some stuff about my case of agoraphobia: A lot of people make me panic. Open spaces make me panic. Unknown or unfamiliar things make me anxious and so on. It's a strange phobia but I go to therapy every week for it. Well, my therapist comes to my house.

He always tells me that the most effective way to overcome fears is to face them. I can imagine that it is true for some people, but I don't think it is for me. I've tried to go down our street once and ended up having a really, really, really bad panic attack and ended up passing out. It was one of the most horrible experiences of my life and I told myself: Never again. But enough about the things I don't like.

I spend quite some time in our front- and backyard, too. We have a hammock in the backyard and it's one of my favorite places. When I'm not there or inside, I'm on the front porch.
Believe it or not, that is actually quite a progress. I used to never go further away from my room than the kitchen. I am rather proud of myself.

I absoluteley love sitting there in the morning with just a cup of coffee and most times a book. It's relaxing. A few weeks ago, I practiced opening the small gate to our front yard and keeping it open every time I sit in front of the house. I know it's sort of ridiculous but it's one of the first steps to getting my phobia under control.

And that is exactly what I am doing right now. I make my way to the front door with a fresh coffee in my favorite coffee mug. It's simple, blue. I don't really know why I even love it so much.

I open the door, step outside and go to open the gate, before sitting down on the front porch, closing it behind me. I know I'm too young to love coffee this much. I don't care about how it affects my growth or the color of my teeth or anything, though.

My mom always says, that when you want to be happier you need to enjoy the little things, especially when the big things aren't running to your satisfaction and I figured, drinking at least three cups of coffee a day fit under the category of little things.

I pull my legs closer and set my blue mug on top of my left knee, my hand still supporting it.

For approximately half an hour, I just sit there, slowly sipping my coffee in silence. I let the sun shine on my face and listen to the birds. I imagine that the birds are talking to me instead of each other and try to imagine what they could be saying.

I read, that birds don't actually sing or have conversations, but mark their territories by the chirping sounds they make. I try to push my rational, educated thoughts away for a while, though. I need to dream sometimes.

Then, for just a bit, I try to think of things that make me smile, because I'm a bit grumpy this morning. I don't really have a reason to be grumpy, I just am. I end up thinking about cats and smiling to myself. It was then when I look up, due to the feeling of being watched.

On the other side of the street on the sidewalk, there is a boy. He is tall and thin, just looking over at me with a neutral expression on his face. I can make out that he has dark hair, but nothing more.

Even when I look back at him, he doesn't stop staring. Isn't he embarrassed or something?

Then he looks to the left and to the right before slowly crossing the street and coming closer to me. At first, I think that he just wants to walk on the other side or go to a neighbors house, but then he stops right in front of the opened gate. My heart starts beating erratically and I swallow hard.

This situation makes me extremely uncomfortable. Why would he approach me like this? Why would another human being I don't know just try to come closer to me like that? He now has a soft smile on his face. He steps a bit closer.

Mystery guy looks at me, probably searching for a sign of me not wanting him here. I desperately want to yell something like "no" or "stay away". Even a simple "what do you want" might make him keep his distance.

However, I feel like I'm frozen. My heart is beating so fast, I'm worried it might jump out of my ribcage at any second. Yet, I can't seem to move a muscle.

He steps into the front yard, slowly making his way over to me. I start shaking.

He comes to a halt a few feet away from me. "Hi", he says. He still has that smile on his face and I start looking at him more intently. He has dark eyes, the same color as his hair, which looks slightly messy. He is wearing a pair of black jeans and a white button-up shirt. All in all, he is really good looking.

But that is the least of my worries.

He takes a few more steps towards me and sits down next to me. "I'm Austin", he states. How dare Austin invade my personal space like this? How dare he make me panic and be mad at him? How dare he be so nice and attractive doing so? With shaking hands, I tip my coffee mug to my lips, sipping it slowly. What are this Austin guys' intentions?

He peeks into my mug, "What've you got there?" I swallow hard, hoping my voice doesn't betray me, "Coffee." He nods, "Can I have some?", he asks, as if it were completely normal to ask for a sip of a drink from a complete stranger. I nod nonetheless, handing it to him.

He smiles and wraps his long fingers around the porcelain, looping a few around its handle. He brings it to his lips and his throat makes a small swallowing noise as he drinks. "Thank you", he whispers, giving it back to me.

"Why are you so nervous and freaked out?"

"Agoraphobia.", I croak.

"What's that?"

"You like asking questions."

"Maybe I do. I'll google that phobia of yours, hold on."

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A/N: wow, new fic. and its cashby! I hope you like this so far.