Blue Coffee Mugs and the Agoraphobic [boyxboy] ✔

Negativity

I don't know which cover to use smh T.T

FIVE

"Any particular reason you're so pissed?"

"No... I just generally feel like shit today. I'm sorry.", I say, sipping the caramel coffee Austin brought. He is sitting next to me on my bed.

"Tomorrow will be better.", he says confidently.
"But what if it's not?", I ask, suddenly having the urge to cry.
Come on, Alan. Get your shit together.

"Then you'll keep saying it every day. Because it might be. You never know, right? At some point, tomorrow will be the best day of your life, I promise you that."

"That's a very nice thing to say. I love how you're always so positive. It's nice. Most people are negative these days... Including myself. Although, I try not to. But sometimes, I need a negativity day. And that negativity day is today."

Austin smiles, "Then let's be negative together."

--

"And tomorrow I'll be dead. All the thoughts gone from my head. No more pain, no more tears, no more hopeless, useless years.", I read out loud.

"Wow I didn't realize I could be so depressing.", Austin says taking the piece of paper back and staring at his writing.

"Do you believe that everything ends at some point?", Austin asks me out of nowhere.
I look up from my notebook, "Yes. Yes, I do. If things lasted forever, coffee wouldn't cool, cigarettes wouldn't end and feelings would stay the same. The sad truth is, though, that nothing lasts. Life goes on. Some people can live with that, some can't."

Austin nods, "I'm impressed. We're getting all philosophical here. Honestly, that just sounded like you read it from a book - how do you always do that?"
I laugh quietly, "Oh, you have no idea. This isn't even half of what goes on in my head most of the time."

"Tell me more.", he says, looking me straight in the eyes. I have to force myself to look away. His eyes are really pretty. I have never liked brown eyes. But somehow, Austin's eyes are my new favorite color.

I shake my head, though, "Another time, maybe. Do you want to build a fort?"

He nods eagerly, "I haven't built a fort in like, ages!" I start piling up all kinds of blankets and pillows I can find, two chairs and we begin building.

After about fifteen minutes, we're done and I start crawling inside, "To be honest, this kind of sucks, but it's a fort so I'm not complaining."
Austin laughs, "Do I even fit in there?"

I snort, "Probably not. See? Even being short has its perks sometimes."
"I'll make it fit, trust me.", he replies.
"Fine, let me get out before you destroy our work, though."

Austin clutches his chest in mock hurt, "I'm not even that fat!"
"I never said you were fat. You're just a fucking giant.", I reply as a matter of fact.

He huffs and waits for me to cautiously come out again, before dropping to his hands and knees and beginning to crawl inside.
"Aye! I told you I'd make it fit!", Austin exclaims, shortly before he makes a wrong move and everything collapses on top of him.

I start laughing, "Oh god, I told you, I'd make it fit!", I say in a mocking tone, "I'm gonna piss myself." Meanwhile, Austin is just lying under the blankets and everything he made collapse.

"You're mean.", he whines, "Can you repair it? It was nice in here before your weak construction-"
"My weak construction? I'll show you my weak construction, you dick!", I laugh, grabbing a pillow and hitting him with it. "Ow! Stop, stop! I surrender, it was a great fort we built together, except we didn't think of my tallness and shit! ... Will you stop hitting me with that?!"

I put away the pillow and walk over to obey Austin's wishes and repair the fort. As I try to pull up the blankets, I trip over a pillow and land on the floor, right next to Austin, who is still covered in blankets. We both start laughing all over again and he flicks the blankets off of himself, onto me. "Hey! Don't do that!", I say, still giggling. I push them off again to see that Austin is already standing again, hovering above me, "Boo."

"Really, Austin? Stop that lame stuff and help me up." He lets out a short laugh and grabs my hands, pulling me up to him. "Thank you", I say, faking a British accent and brushing imaginary dust from my clothes.

"Sir Alan, would you like a cup of tea?", Austin asks, playing along and taking a small bow.

"Actually, yes", I reply seriously, "Let's get some tea."