Blue Coffee Mugs and the Agoraphobic [boyxboy] ✔

What?!

TWENTY FIVE

surprise (n.)
an unexpected or astonishing event, fact or thing

It's days later, I haven't heard from Austin in almost a week. At first I think he's just busy with school or something, but then I begin to get worried.

Why isn't he replying to any texts, or answering calls? He reads everything I send him, but never texts back. That's why I'm really happy when my sister yells, from downstairs: "Alan? Austin's here to see you!"

I jump up, racing down the stairs with a smile on my face. As soon as I see Austin, though, my facial expression completely changes. He looks kind of distraught, his hair is a mess and he has bags under his eyes.

"Austin? What's wrong? Come on in, it's cold." He just closes the door behind him. "Alan, wait. Let's just... Can we talk?" I furrow my eyebrows together in confusion, "Um, sure? Upstairs?" He nods, following me up into my room.

I have a very bad feeling about this, my heart hammering away in my chest. I close the door of my room. "So what's wrong? You look tired."

"Everything. Everything's wrong.", he says, rubbing his face. I give him a questioning look. "This... This isn't gonna work out.", he pauses, "I just... I don't love you. Hell, I don't think I even like you. I can't do this."

"Are you- like, are you breaking up with me?", I ask quietly. "Yes, Alan. It's just...no cant explain it very well, but you need to understand; I need someone I can go outside with and I met this really cool person and yeah... I'm sorry."

I don't answer. After a few minutes of silence, I finally speak up, "Are you kidding me? Two days ago, you were telling me you fucking loved me, and now you mean to tell me that you never felt anything for me? After all the stuff? I remember everything, Austin, every single day! I don't believe you! I don't believe that you don't have feelings for me anymore, let alone that you never had in the first place! Tell me the truth! What is going on?!"

"Alan", he says softly, "I'm- I'm sorry. But that's just how it is. I should go."

I just stand there, unable to move, unable to do anything at all. How is it possible that I've become this attached to a person in such a short while? And why the hell does that person have to be Austin? Of all people, why Austin?

I hear the front door slam shut and that's when I actually start to realize what just happened.

Austin just broke up with me. Now I have no one. No one to go outside with, no one to kiss or cuddle, or tell all my weird, philosophical thoughts to.

I laugh lightly, like an insane person. Why would I laugh about getting dumped?

I don't believe him. This isn't Austin, something must be going on, right? I felt it, I know he has feelings for me. I can't be that wrong, can I? Oh god, but what if I am? What if he really doesn't want me? He's basically my only connection to the real world. My only real friend, the only person that never thought I was attention seeking, or "doing this" to get out of school. (Which totally ridiculous, because I obviously still have school; and how would I get attention by not talking to or meeting up with anyone?)

A few minutes, and Ina knocks on my door, "Alan? What was that? Can I come in?" I just give a "mhm" and she steps inside.

"Austin broke up with me.", I say in disbelief, "Austin... broke up with me."
"What the hell? Why? Did you argue?"
No... He told me he didn't like me and that he couldn't handle my agoraphobia. I don't... I just don't understand. It makes no sense, why would this be all so sudden?"