Blue Coffee Mugs and the Agoraphobic [boyxboy] ✔

Frost

THIRTY TWO

amantes sunt amentes - lovers are lunatics

No matter what, I cannot, for the love of God, get Austin out of my head. It is impossible. My every waking thought is dedicated to the tall, brown-haired boy.

I see him everywhere, it's like his face is branded on the inside of my eyes.

Three months.
Three months have come and gone, and I thought I would've forgotten him by now. But honestly, he is the only thing I remember.

I haven't heard a word from Austin and I don't know if I should feel happy or sad about that. Justin said that when he asked, Austin told him he had 'better things' to do.
Better things like going and fucking himself I hope.

How Justin and Austin know each other? Well, after meeting Justin at the library, we've met up a few times and he's really cool. Like, really, really cool.
We're pretty good friends now, and it turns out, he goes to the same school as Austin.

He didn't believe me when I said that I had dated Austin; apparently he was really popular at school. But I showed him pictures, and Justin couldn't believe he was actually into guys.

I'm not sure why he's so interested in that, anyway. Gossiper.

Austin hasn't come out to anyone yet, and even though I am kind of, or very, mad at him (understandably), I made Justin promise not to tell a soul. I'm not that cruel.

Speaking of Justin, we are currently sitting outside, on the roof of a pretty much unused gym. I don't know what it is with it, but it's a cool place to hang out.

Justin is telling horrible, but strangely amusing jokes and we are both laughing loudly and having fun. I love having Justin around.

But all the time, the continued absence of Austin seems to lie upon me like a frost, its icy bite harder and harder to ignore. And I'm the only one noticing it.

I take a drag from the cigarette Justin and I are sharing, as I look up at the cloudy sky. I'm cold, only wearing a jeans, short-sleeved shirt and a jean jacket.

I enjoy cold weather. It's almost spring, though, and I'm not looking forward to summer weather at all.

As if someone is trying to mess with me, a certain, tall, brown-haired boy walks around the corner, towards us.
It's Austin, obviously.

I stare at him, almost in a challenging way. I don't know what I expect, but definitely not for him to climb up onto the roof, looking pissed.

"What are you doing?", he asks angrily, hitting the cigarette out of my hand and onto the floor, stepping on it.

"Hey!", Justin and I exclaim at the same time, glaring at the boy towering over us.
"What the fuck do you think you are doing?", Austin asks again, looking at me accusingly.

As if he has any right to act like this.
"What is your problem?", I ask.
"You're smoking!", he accuses and I roll my eyes.

"No shit, Sherlock."
He looks at Justin, "Why are you letting him do this? Why are you giving him cigarettes?"

Justin holds up his hands in surrender, "Chill, I'm sorry. Why is this your concern, anyway? I thought you guys were done and over with."

Austin glanced at me, making everything awkward, suddenly.
Seeing him, hearing his voice, hearing him talk to me, is so strange, that I don't know wether I want to cry or scream at him.

"We are. We are done and over with.", Austin confirms, and although I obviously already know that, it still hurts, "That doesn't mean I can't be concerned for his health, though."

"I think my health should be my concern, don't you agree?", I retort.
"Al, I'm just worried.", he says, looking at me pleadingly and I want to punch him in the face.

I don't answer, so before he leaves, he just looks at me one more time, "We will talk sometime."

I stay silent.

We will not talk sometime.

—

As soon as I'm home, my brother pulls me into his room, closing the door behind us. I look at him questioningly.

"Talk to me, bro.", Nick says, "think of me as the therapist you never had. I mean, you do have one but... Anyway, tell me what's up with you, man. I'm worried."

I sigh, contemplating whether or not to tell him what happened. Of course he noticed that I was acting off. Everyone did.

"Austin.", I say simply.
"I know it has something to do with that guy, I haven't seen him here in ages. But what happened?", my older brother asks.

"Well, he cheated on me... With Ina."

He looks at me, snorting in disbelief, "Hilarious."

"No, I- I'm serious, Nick.", I mumble, tearing up a little. God, I hate being emotional.

"Wait, what? What?! What the fuck? Who does he think he is? I'm going to find that son of a bitch and-"

"No, please don't. It's not worth it. Just let it be.", I tell him.

"No, I will not just let it be. I don't think you understand how angry I am right now. If Ina wasn't a girl, I'd beat her up, too. I'll just yell at her instead. What the fuck is wrong with them? Why would Ina even do that?"

I shrug, not really feeling like talking about this any longer.
"Can I stay in your room for a while?", I ask quietly.

"Yeah, sure.", he answers, giving me a hug. I know Nick is not usually a very affectionate person, so I know it means a lot.

"I love you a lot. Although you suck sometimes, I really appreciate you.", I whisper and he laughs a bit.
"I love you too, you sad little thing."

He ruffles my hair affectionately, but I duck, "Stop", I whine and he laughs a little.

I put down my bag and throw myself onto my brother's bed, just staring up at the white ceiling for a while.

I don't know what my older sibling is doing, I'm kind of zoned out, until I receive a text message.

I turn my head and grab my phone.

Austin.

Al, let's talk. Please.

[please read: so, I have like a million story ideas and I wanted to ask you what you think I should write first (after finishing this, my cashby and the sequel to in reality)
BEWARE: MY TITLES MIGHT BE A LITTLE TOO CREATIVE
-> "Opposites Attract"
a cashby in which Austin is a high school dropout and is now a really famous boxer and Alan is all innocent and they meet because Alan's friends like boxing and stuff
-> "The Smell of Sunscreen"
a cashby in which Austin is a famous actor and accidentally sends an email to the wrong address (it's gonna be great I am excited)
-> "The Great Escape"/ "The Book" (I can't decide yet)
a kellic in which Kellin and Vic are trapped inside a book
-> "Letters"
a kellic in which Kellin keeps receiving anonymous letters with mysterious questions he is supposed to answer
-> "LA Ink"
a perrentes in which Mike is a tattoo artist and Tony has a horrible tattoo which he thinks was a mistake and gets into the show "LA Ink" to get it covered up and they meet blah blah
-> "Schizophrenia"
a jalex in which Jack has schizophrenia and randomly shows up at Alex's house
-> "Just Juvie
a cashby in which Austin and Alan meet in juvie. Austin is in there because of a misunderstanding and Alan is really badass
-> "3:47am"
a perrentes I can't really explain?? It's like Tony and Mike are neighbors and Tony is kinda obsessed with Mike in a cute way and he always hears him upstairs and one day they talk and stuff yeah.
Thanks for reading, you're all great!]