Blue Coffee Mugs and the Agoraphobic [boyxboy] ✔

Awkward

SEVENTEEN

petrichor
(n.) the smell of earth after rain

I am sitting on my windowsill, my head leaning against the cold glass. Raindrops are knocking against it from the outside. I am thinking. Thinking about Austin.

I like Austin, I really do - and since he kissed me, it'd only make sense that he likes me back. But I'm not sure. I can't be sure until I ask him - but I'm not gonna ask him. Sometimes, I feel like he does like me, other times I feel like he sees me as a little brother or something. I don't want another person to view me as 'little'. I have my whole family doing that.

It's already 4:50pm, meaning that Austin must be out of school by now. Maybe he's out in the rain, though. I can imagine that. And I wanna join him. I want to go to the little forest that's supposed to be nearby and collect colorful leaves and look at birds and squirrels. I want to go to a library and a music store. Even school...

I want to try. I need to try. I know I can do it, with Austin.
Speaking of Austin, "Alan, your boyfriend is here!"
I jump up, thundering down the stairs and to the door, trying to save Austin from further embarrassment.

"Ina, he is not my boyfriend.", I say firmly. I glance at Austin and he doesn't look affected by any of this, so I guess that's good. But then again, I don't know wether or not I want him to be affected. To my surprise, he's not soaked through either.

"Hi", I say. "Hey."
We go up to my room and sit down on the bed. "Do you want to watch a movie?", I ask him. "Yeah, I thought the same thing! It's let's-watch-a-movie weather. Do you have anything from Disney?" I nod, "Little Mermaid? It's the only one I really like, I'm not much of a Disney fan, honestly-"

"What?! Are you kidding me? Do you know how many princesses there are?!", Austin exclaims, "Disney is the best!" I snort, "Whatever you say... Let's just watch the damn movie."

I get my laptop and place it on the bed, opening Netflix and looking up The Little Mermaid. As soon as the film starts, Austin's eyes are glued to the screen. At first, I watch (and actually pay attention) it too, but about halfway through the movie, I begin to get bored.

"Austin, guess what?", I whisper. "Hm?"
I stay silent. He doesn't seem to mind, just goes back to watching the movie. A minute or so later, I say his name again, "Austin."
"What?", he hisses, now finally annoyed with me. I laugh, letting the childish side of myself show. Austin rolls his eyes and turns his head back to the laptop and the singing mermaid, "You better shut that pretty little mouth of yours, before I make you put it to good use." My jaw drops in disbelief at his words, but after a few seconds we're both laughing. Another few minutes later, I begin to poke him. At first, he just swats my hands away, but then he starts to get pissed, "Oh my god, what is your problem?"

"My problem? You're my problem." He gives me a strange look. "I don't know", I whine, "I'm bored - Austin, do something."

He sighs, "Alright, come here." Austin opens his arms and motions for me to come closer to him. I don't hesitate in cuddling into his side as he wraps his strong arms around me. I smile. Like this, the movie isn't even that bad.

—

After the movie, Austin checks the watch. "Oh shit. I gotta get going - I'm really sorry. I'll text you, okay? Stay happy!" He quickly grabs his jacket and phone and rushes down the stairs.

I want to bring him to the door, but as I'm at the top of the stairs, the door is already slammed shut. I sigh, "Well, that was a sudden departure."

I go downstairs nonetheless, wanting to make myself a coffee. My siblings are sitting on the couch silently, smirking at me as I walk through the living room.

This is very suspicious. "What?", I ask. They give each other a look, apparently silently communicating. "Are you dating him?", the say at the same time.

I furrow my eyebrows together I'm confusion, "Who? Austin?"
My sister rolls her eyes, "Who else? So are you guys dating?" I shake my head. "Has he confessed his undying love for you yet?"

"Ina! He doesn't even like me." She snorts, "Yeah and I'm the president. Alan, how many fingers am I holding up?"

"Three... Five.. Two- what exactly is the point of this?"
"I just wanted to check your vision, since you can't seem to see the obvious." At that both Ina and Nick start laughing and high-five each other. "Oooh, let me get you some ice for that-"
I cut my brother off, "Shut up, Nick. We're just friends."
Ina laughs, "Yeah sure, cause friends constantly tell each other how gorgeous the other is and stuff like 'shut your mouth before I make you put it to good use.'"
"You guys did what?!", Nick gasps loudly, "You didn't tell me that part!"
"There was a reason for that. Speaking of which, I didn't tell you any part. Ina, stop eavesdropping - it creeps me out.", I grumble while glaring at my sister.

"Oh come on, you love me", she laughs. She's right though - I love my family. I just smile slightly and finally get to reach the kitchen and make myself a coffee. I return to my room with it, sitting on the windowsill.

The sun is setting and it looks beautiful. It's a gorgeous background for the dark outlines of the leafless trees. The colors are amazing, everything from baby blue to almost blood red. I grab my phone and try to make some nice pictures, but no matter what I try, they never turn out as pretty as the original.

I think, that we humans take things like pictures, because we're afraid of time. Maybe not consciously, but we take pictures of things to remember them, try to catch moments somewhere to make them last forever, because we don't want them to end.

But things do end.
All things do. 
And so does the sunset, the colors fading away, hiding from the darkness of the night. My coffee fogs up the glass of my window a bit and I draw a smiley with the tip of my finger there.

Today is a good day.