Blue Coffee Mugs and the Agoraphobic [boyxboy] ✔

Christmas

THIRTY

[shh nvm one more fluff chapter]

Before I know it, Christmas is around the corner and I'm happy. This holiday always puts me in a great mood. Our house isn't really that decorated, I have some fairy lights in my room and there's the traditional Christmas tree in our living room.

I laugh loudly as Austin tries to put one of these red and white Santa Claus hats on my head, "Stop!"

Austin grins widely and I do too. It's just fun to spend time with him - as always.

"Oh, come on", my boyfriend whines, "Stop trying to get away from me."

"Fine then", I huff, crossing my arms over my chest stubbornly.

He pulls the hat onto my head, some hair still sticking out on the sides.

"Aw, oh god, you're so adorable", he laughs, "Please never take that off."
I roll my eyes and he leans towards me to kiss me softly.

I smile after pulling away, "You need to try it on, too."
Austin doesn't protest, just puts it on and I laugh.

"You're the hottest Santa I've ever seen."
"Mhm", he nods, "I better be."

It makes me happy to see Austin happy. It makes me so, so very happy. His smile is just so beautiful and contagious.

I lean into him and he puts is arms around me. We just sit there, happy, in silence but after a while he sighs and gets up.

"I better get going. My dad is going to kill me if I'm not home on Christmas Eve."

I nod and accompany him downstairs to the door.

"Bye", he says, kissing me on the forehead, "I'll see you tomorrow, okay? Love you."

"I love you too", I mumble, but he's already out the door.

The rest of the night is pretty relaxing. I read and we have a really nice family dinner. It's like my siblings and I are all little children again, excited for Christmas.

I go to bed early, because I'm honestly really curious to find out what my parents got me. It doesn't take me long to fall asleep, seeing as I'm not stressed in the slightest. I'm just happy and warm and feeling great overall.
Everything is perfect.

—

I wake up and immediately get out of bed. It's still pretty dark out, as expected, considering it's winter.

I turn on the light in the living room and find some presents with my name on them. We don't do the traditional "let's open all the gifts together" thing. That has never worked.

There's three that look and feel like books, two that feel like clothing and another two cards.

I open the first three, and as I thought, they are books. One is called Silver, the other Miracle and the other one How To Be Immortal.

I'm excited, because they all sound great. I proceed to open the clothing ones, expecting boring, homemade sweaters. However, I am very delighted to find that they're not boring at all.

One is a Harry Potter sweater and the other one is a Nirvana shirt. They're from Ina and Nick. I make a mental note to hug both of them really tightly as soon as they get up.

The cards are from my aunt and uncle and grandparents.
Both include money.

Honestly, I don't understand why people think it's stupid to give someone money as a gift for any occasion. Nobody has ever complained, right? I mean, why would they? It's amazing.

It's all nothing much, really. But I don't mind at all. I like it simple. I appreciate books. I appreciate the cool clothes and I definitely appreciate the money.

I grab everything and go back upstairs. I put the books on my bookshelf and just set the clothes and the cards on my desk for now.

Slowly but surely, the rest of my family begins to wake and everyone is thanking everyone and it's just nice. After breakfast, I text Austin, and he says that he'll come over after his family says it's okay.

I take a rather long shower and as I'm still in, Ina yells that Austin is there. I get out, dry myself off and put on some fresh clothes.

I step out of the bathroom and go to my room, finding it empty. There's a little package sitting on my desk. I smile, figuring it's from Austin.

I open it, finding a little wooden box and a letter. I decide to read the letter later and take out what's inside the box.

I find a silver necklace. It has a little locket on it, an A engraved. I open it and it reveals a picture of me sleeping on Austin's chest. I smile at it.

I decide to go look for him, taking his gift with me. I check downstairs and even both bathrooms. He's nowhere to be found.

I step into Ina's room.
"Hey, uh, did Austin leave o-"

They're on her bed. Topless. Making out.

I feel a stab of pain mixed with a bizarre desire to laugh - and then there's tears. Oh god, the tears.

"Oh my god", I whisper, wanting to run, but finding myself unable to. It's like seeing a car crash - you don't want to look, but you can't stop looking. My "boyfriend" catches my gaze and he looks, fleetingly, like a small boy caught in wrongdoing.

Austin turns around and so does Ina. They both have expressions of pure horror on their faces.

Austin gets up quickly, grabbing his shirt. He starts coming towards me, already opening his mouth to say something, but finally, that seems to be what snaps me out of my daze.

I turn around as quickly as I can and run into my room.

The desire to laugh is gone as I throw myself onto my bed, starting to sob pathetically.
As Austin enters the room, I sit up, trying to squeeze myself into the furthest away corner of my bed.

I can't even begin to describe how I feel in this moment.

"Alan... I'm sorry."
I don't answer, as I cry into my hands. "It wasn't supposed to be this way, I-"
"Please stop talking", I whimper. Austin obeys. He just sits there beside me, not daring to touch me. I want to be angry, I want to scream at him to fuck off, to get out of my room but no matter how much I try, I can't find any angriness. Just sadness. Shock as well, definitely shock.

He doesn't leave.
"Why?", I cry, "Why Austin? Am I- am I really that bad of a boyfrie- boyfriend? I wouldn't know, I mean you're kind of the first and only person ever to be my boyfriend and- and I'm inexperienced. Is it that? My in- inexperience? I just wa- wanted to make you happy. That's it. That's all I ever wanted. I thought I did.", I sob desperately.

I look up at him and am slightly surprised to find Austin crying, too, "I have no explanation or excuses. I'm so sorry."

[i lied]