The UnSlut Project

I don't care if you hate me for the rest of the time I know you.

December 19, 1997

Today was great! At the very beginning of the day, Hunter came up to me and held out a folded piece of paper and said, “This is a note… from guess who.” He was being sarcastic. I said, “I don’t want it,” and pushed past him.

A little bit later, Hannah came up to me and asked, “Did you see the letter Zach wrote you?” I shook my head. “Is it mean?” “No!” she said. “It’s really nice.” After first block, when I was walking to Social Studies, Hannah gave me the note (she had acquired it somehow) and said, “Read it, it’s good.”

I went into the bathroom and read it in a stall. I had to bite my lip to keep from yelling something stupid in my state of pure joy. It was like floating – it’s weird to be that happy. I couldn’t keep the grin off my face during Social Studies and people were giving me weird looks. Here is what the note said (I have read it like, a million times – I practically have it memorized):

Dear Emily,

It’s one in the morning and I’m tired but I’m writing this note because I have to apologize but I have to say two words: I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have went off at you. I just didn’t know what I was doing. I take back everything I said and I don’t mind if you hate me because of this incident. I’m really sorry it had to end like this. I just wish we could start over and forget about this, but I can understand if you don’t forgive me. I can’t believe I wrote that to you and I don’t care if you hate me for the rest of the time I know you. I hope you forgive me and I’m really sorry.

Sincerely,

Zach

Kaylee asked Zach out for me without my permission, and he said he’d tell her by the end of the day. Then when I was walking to my bus after school, she ran up to me and yelled, “Emily! He says he’ll go out with you!”

Right after school, Emma called me and she had Zach on the other line. She had to flash back and forth between us. She told me that Zach said that he really missed me and that he wanted to go out with me again, but if we broke up he was afraid it would ruin our friendship.

He called me after that and we talked about everything like nothing had changed – it was great. He called later tonight, too, and we watched TV together and it was so fun. I realized how much I love him and how much I need him.

He’s really perfect. I can’t believe he actually wrote me that second letter. According to Seventeen Magazine, it’s hardly ever that a boy says “I’m sorry” and admits he was wrong. It’s probably even rarer that a boy as egotistical and full of himself as Zach is says that. But knowing that makes his apologizing even more sweet.

[Everything I need to know I learned from reading Seventeen Magazine. Did it strike anyone else that Zach’s letter was not even that nice? Writing “I don’t care if you hate me for the rest of the time I know you” isn’t exactly begging for forgiveness. And apparently, “really perfect” and “egotistical and full of himself” were not mutually exclusive at this point in my life.]