I'm Right Here- SWM Sequel (Harry Styles)

Chapter 22:

I became mute. No. Natalie couldn't die. She was mine. She couldn't die. I just sat there and half listened as Liam and Lou reminded Bear of everything she had to do. She couldn't die. Bear was silent as well, her expression blank but her eye still lively. Her beautiful blue eyes. Eyes that I never wanted to stop seeing.

After about an hour later, Lou left and Liam said decided that the other boys shouldn't know. We all went back to the main part of the bus and Bear called a group hug with the three other boys. She looked so small and frail when she was surrounded by them, the blanket covering up her body. Her small body that fit perfectly up against me.

We all went to our separate bunks but me and Bear kept our heads out from behind the curtain. We didn't say a word to each other, just simply looked at each other. But a part of me wanted her to say something. Anything. Just so I could her beautiful voice that had a slight rasp to it. So I could hear the small country accent she had. So I could hear her say my name, giving my shivers down my spine, just like it had done every other time.

But we were silent. I wanted to spend the rest of the time she had left with her. And suddenly Lou's words had made sense.

"Just remember to say things while you have the chance to say them."

No. Bear wouldn't die. She couldn't. I had to stop thinking like she would though. Bear would live. But I wasn't going to hold back anymore. I looked back up to Bear's bunk to see that she had fallen asleep, her bandaged arm hanging out of her bunk.

I somehow fell asleep and when I woke up, Bear wasn't in her bunk again. The others weren't up yet but I got changed and left the bus to go into the arena. Lou was in the hair and makeup room with Caroline but Bear wasn't there. I didn't go searching for her, the list of all the things she had to do coming back to me, so I sat down and talked normally with the two women. My bandmates slowly joined me one by one but there was still no sign of Bear. Finally, Bear came into the room, wearing her usual beautiful smile.

"Show today, then a day off tomorrow. Sound good?" She says cheerfully and we all agree happily. We all break off to do our own things and starts to leave but I hurry to catch up to her.

"Are you okay today?" I ask worriedly, any sense of calmness I was trying to convey failing miserably.

"Harry, I'm fine. If I wasn't, Paul would have me locked up at the hotel." Bear says with a light laugh. She continues to walk but I grab her by the waist and pull her into me, embracing her in a tight hug.

"You're with me tomorrow. My hotel room. And you can't say no." I whisper into Bear's ear, enjoying how she silently nods her head and returns my hug. She breaks our hug and gives a small smile while walking away.

About three hours before the show, some of my friends come backstage and it's a really nice reunion. I try to find Bear so I can introduce her but she's nowhere to be found. My friends to go get their seats and I venture off to go find Bear.

"Ben, stop chasing Lux!" I hear Bear laugh from a hall not too far away.

I walk to the sound of kids laugh and their feet running on the ground. I find Bear running in a hall after Lux and two other kids as Lou, her sister, and her boyfriend Tom stand to the side watching them all. I run after Bear and pick her up by her waist when I get close enough. She laughs as I sit her on my shoulders and hold onto her legs as I chase after the kids, whom I recognize as Lux and her cousins. The kids stop running and crowd around me and Bear, pulling on my shirt and stepping on my feet.

I put Bear down and pick up the 3 kids and spin in a circle, making them laugh. I put them down and Bear puts Lux on her hip as Tom drives over on a segway. I take turns driving Ben and Noah around on the segway as Bear chats to Lou and her sister. Tom starts the segway rides and I walk over to Bear, pulling her closer to me as she holds Lux.

“Did you enjoy seeing your friends?” Bear asks as she shifts Lux’s sitting position on her hip.

“I did, thanks. I wanted to introduce you but it seems as though you were having a reunion of your own.” I smile as I admire how good Bear is with Lux.

Since Africa, I had seen just how compassionate Bear was and I thought stabbed at my heart. What if Bear didn’t live long enough to have a kid? What if she did live but was too unhealthy to have a baby? What if the baby had been ours.... No. Natalie would live.

“Oh yeah, these are my homies.” Bear smiles as she bounces Lux on her hip, making the little girl laugh.

“C’mon, Harry. Time for you to get ready.” Lou says after saying goodbye to her sister and boyfriend as they take off to their seats.

Bear carries Lux as we walk with Lou to the dressing room. As Lou does my hair, I watch Bear and Lux on the couch behind me through the mirror. I notice that only a light pink scar is left on Bear’s cheek from her most recent encounter with Eric and her arms aren’t bandaged. Bear is laying on the couch with her head on the armrest and her knees up as Lux lays back on her thighs.

I remember the cuts that are there but her face reads no sign of pain, only happiness. She plays with Lux and I think about how great of mother she would’ve been. No. How great of a mother she will be. Bear has to live.

The show goes great as normal and we head to the hotel afterwards. After nights of sleeping in bunks, a proper bed is going to feel great. Bear walks over to my room in her pjs for me to bandage her arms and I note that her cuts have not gotten any better. One of the signs of immunodeficiency- decreased healing.

Thankfully, she doesn’t bleed as bad as she has been and we lay silently beside each other on my bed. She lifts her hand into the air and she starts to write with her finger. I don’t fully understand what she’s writing but I turn my head to see her smiling as she writes so I just watch her. She meets my eyes with a smile and she stops writing as she rolls onto her side to face me.

“If it’s alright, I wanna spend tomorrow just talking. I don’t want a single word to be left unsaid. No judgement, just talking.” Bear says quietly.

“There’s never any judgement. So I’ll see you tomorrow morning?” I smile as I push a strand of Bear’s hair behind her ear and she smiles at the action.

“Of course. I wake up early nowadays.” Bear says as she gets out of the bed and starts to walk towards the door.

“Then I’ll wake up when you wake me up.” I smiled cheekily and Bear rolls her eyes with a smile before leaving. And because I couldn’t watch her fall asleep, I imagined her peacefully sleeping with her bandaged arm hanging off the bed.