iridescent :: tyler joseph

twelve

I woke up about three hours later to a phone call from my older brother, Jason. I hadn't talked to him in about three years, so I could only imagine what he'd have to say.

I sat up slowly, pondering ignoring the call.

I stood up, grabbing the phone off of my coffee table and walked into my bedroom so that I wouldn't wake Tyler.

"What?" I snapped, not bothering to be nice. He was lucky I even picked up.

"Vanessa, it's mom, she's back in the hospital." Jason replied, worry thick in his voice. I scratched the back of my head, feelings hitting me from every aspect.

"God, Jason, isn't she always?" I retaliated, wondering why he called me this time. I didn't care if my mom was back in the rehab center, that was practically her second home.

As heartless as it sounded, it was true. At a very young age my mother became an alchoholic due to my freak-show of a father, and I had to learn to take care of myself. My mother hated me, she wanted to hurt me. She blamed it all on me.

Jason was never there for me, nobody was. The minute I became an adult, I left. I packed everything I owned and made it on my own.

I went through some shitty stuff, but I never tried to cope with it through alchohol and drugs because I knew better.

The only thing my mother ever taught me was how to make it on my own.

"No, she's in a medical hospital." Jason replied, catching my attention. "She drank herself into a coma."

My heart sank. I didn't know what to think.

"Why should I come down?" I cried, tears of anger falling down my cheeks. "She wouldn't do the same for me!"

"Vanessa," he angrily interrupted. "she's your goddamn mother! Without her you wouldn't be alive!"

"God, I wish she never had me!" I replied, the words spilling from my mouth without permission. "The world would be better off without me! I wasn't made on purpose! I was an accident, Jason, and I don't want to be here anymore!"

"Bri," a voice croaked from behind me. I turned around to see Tyler with an extremely upset and petrified expression.

"Tyler I'm sorry-"

"Look, if you don't want to see her, I don't give a shit! Goodbye, Vanessa." Jason yelled, cutting the call off. I let my phone fall to the carpet as Tyler stared into my soul.

He ran to me, wrapping his arms around me like he never has before. I didn't move, still staring at the place he was in the doorway.

"Please tell me you didn't mean that," he cried into my hair, his voice breaking. "tell me you're kidding. Please don't be serious."

I wrapped my arms around his waist, tears spilling from my eyes.

"I-I don't think I am."

"Bri," he cried, cold tears spilling onto my neck. "you can't be serious! Please don't think like that, I can't-" he cut himself off, crying into my hair. He pulled me closer, almost hurting me.

We sat down on my bed and I looked over at Tyler.

His eyes were red and filled to the brim with tears. His throat was tensed up as if he were straining it to hold back words.

"My mother is in a coma." I stated, looking at him blankly as I blinked back tears. "God, it's all my fault-"

"Don't you dare say that!" Tyler cried as he pulled me close to him. Shivers ran down my spine as I listened to him sob. I'd never seen him this way and I never wanted to again.