Chapter 11

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During the night, it had begun to snow, making it the hardest night we had in terms of the weather. I knew it must have reached below freezing, and I barely slept because of it and the mess that was Jeff's situation. We tried going out and looking for a blanket someone might have thrown away or anything like that, but we couldn't find one, so we returned to our spot in the woods, surrounded by about two inches of snow. Normally, it wouldn't have seemed like much, but it was so much worse when you had nowhere to go.

I wiped my running nose as I shivered violently. I kept myself curled into a ball as much as I could, trying to keep in my body warmth. That was difficult since my jeans were soaked and chilling me to the bone. I glanced over at Jeff. In some ways, he did look better than he had the day before, even though he was just as cold as me. The dark circles under his eyes were gone, and while his eyes were permanently bloodshot from the bleach damage, they still weren't as red. I said through my chattering teeth, "I-Is it g-g-going to s-snow a-again-n?"

"I.... I-I d-d-don't think s-so," he replied, only slightly muffled by his bandana. He wore everything he could to keep himself warm, which included the hood, even though the sky was covered with clouds.

"H-How's the scar?" I wondered. He turned his head and pulled down the bandana, allowing me to see it. The swelling and redness had gone down significantly. I cracked a smile. "I-I-It looks b-better."

"It d-doesn't hurt-t as m-much," he admitted, pulling the cloth back over his mouth and nose. He did sound like he was talking better, even with the chattering that limited our speech.

"That.... That's g-good," I said. A gust of wind came by, stinging my face. I gasped and hid my face in my knees. I had never anticipated it snowing while I was with him, and I never wanted to see the snow again after.

"G-Get over h-h-here," Jeff told me. I looked up at him in confusion. "We-We'll be warmer-r t-together." I almost agreed, but the thoughts of what happened that night appeared in my head. A rush of fear came over me as I remembered him ruthlessly stabbing that man.

I declined, "I-I-I don't-t-t th-think I can move m-my le-legs." That wasn't a complete lie. My hands and feet were numb.

"F-Fine," he sighed and stood up. My eyes widened as he shakily walked over to me and sat beside me, wrapping his arm around me. I was relieved by his warmth, but I was also chilled by the fact that a mindless killer might be right next to me. Could I really help someone like that? Could I stand it?

"I s-saw you l-l-last night," I spoke quietly, almost in a breathy voice. I wanted him to hear me and know what I had seen, but I also wanted him to have not heard me at all.

One of those wishes was answered. I felt him stiffen a bit. He said in a slightly accusatory tone, "You.... You d-didn't l-l-listen." The monotone terrified me. He always expressed emotion; he was just that type of person. What did it mean when he didn't?

"Y-You k-k-k-killed him-m. You k-kept st-st-stabbing him," I continued. I felt his grip tighten on me slightly. "I-I saw all th-the bl-blood."

"So?" his voice hardened. I was glad I couldn't see his face.

"Did y-you...." I trailed off, not sure if I should say what I was thinking. It had to be said, though. I had to know the person next to me. "D-D-Did you l-like it-t?"

He released me and turned towards me completely, allowing me to see the full anger in his icy eyes. "Wh-What? Y-You th-think I'm k-killing ev-everyone again?" he said in a voice laced with acid.

"No, but... th-that wasn't-t just s-self-defense," I reasoned calmly. I reached out to place a hand on his shoulder, but he moved away from my touch. I realized my mistake and tried to backtrack, "I-I'm sorry. I sh-shouldn't h-have said-d th-that."

"W-Well, as l-l-long as y-you're sorry-y!" Jeff shouted as he stood.

"P-Please, d-don't do this," I pleaded, hugging myself tightly. Whatever fear I had felt was replaced completely by guilt.

He glared at me, "You're-re un... unbelievable. N-No, Ronnie, I-I didn't-t en-enjoy t-t-t-taking someone's l-life."

I apologized again, "I-I'm sorry. I d-didn't m-mean to-"

"Y-Yeah, you did," he cut me off, beginning to walk away. "I'm g-going to the library. I-I've got-t-t to f-find th-the next town."

I wanted to try to stop him. I was willing to fall over on my numb legs to try to do it, but I knew I had done enough damage, and I knew the answer I would get, anyway. I uttered, "O-Okay." My eyes followed him until he was lost in the snow, and I was only left with footprints.

I sniffled and wiped my running nose, sighing. I watched the puff of air dissipate. It had been a very short encounter, but it hadn't taken long for me to mess up. It was probably hard that I was the only person who believed him, but I also just went and doubted him again. Was I right to do it, though? Was it wrong to bring up? What I saw was brutal, something I didn't think any stable person was really capable of. I had to believe his word because... what else did I have? Realizing that, I probably really should have stayed quiet.

The whole thing still worried me. I doubted he would forgive me anytime soon, even though I knew he wouldn't just leave me. Also, I still didn't have an answer for why he had been so cruel. So, I sat in the snow, shaking and wondering what I was going to do.


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