CHAPTER 03 - Things I'll Never Say -

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Rehearsal’s just finished and Haruna is sitting comfortably in front of a big mirror. The laughs of the people playing behind her back make her smile. From the mirror’s reflection, she can see Yuko playing with the younger members. Her lips curved upwards but her eyes retain its sad downward curve.

“Yuko’s at it again huh?” Mariko said while pulling the chair beside Haruna. “She really enjoys perverted things neh?” the taller girl continued joking while watching Yuko from the mirror. However, the recipient of her joke remained silent. She then noticed Haruna’s eyes still focused on Yuko while sporting a smile. “You missed Yuko, right?” She twisted her neck to face Haruna.

A pouting smile radiates from the interrogated girl, lowering her head as she tucked her long hair behind her ears.

“Oh c’mon~! You can just steal her away! The juniors will surely be relieved if you stop her doing those grabbing.” Mariko joked but still no response from the girl who looks happily spaced out. “Hmm! Why don’t we get out of here and shop a little? There are new releases of goods down Shibuya. Let’s get you some fresh air~” She grabbed Haruna’s hand and drag her out of the rehearsal studio.

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Mariko Shinoda is one of the pillars of AKB48. Currently the oldest member so the team members confidently regard her as their sister whom they can confide to. Mariko and Haruna belong to the same team and became close after going shopping almost every week. Both of them are goddesses of fashion so them shopping and going out together is not really something of a gossip.

“It’s really funny how people see Yuuchan a perverted person.” Haruna suddenly mumbled. She sipped through the straw of her juice. Her fork pinned down the tip of a sliced cake lying just beside her glass of juice.

“Hmm..?” Mariko’s curious. She stopped going after her share of cake, showing Haruna that she’s ready to listen.

“Hmm! Ok! Maybe to others she is..” the long haired girl started. “But that’s not the case for me.” She put down her fork and started to reflect on the past. “.. the … the way she hold me, it feels different. You can feel her effort of keeping me comfortable.” She shook her head. “Iie~ I can feel her hugs so gentle and warm, with no sense of malice nor even a slight hint of pervertedness.”

Mariko smiled and nods her head. She can see how genuine Haruna’s words were. The warmth from Yuko that she missed seems to radiate from the girl’s words.

“And.. and the way she holds my hands every time she tried kissing me, it’s.. It’s.. It’s as if she’s telling me something along the words… it’s okay.. It’s okay NyanNyan.. I won’t do anything you don’t like.” Slowly, Haruna’s eyes started to smile. “And when she kissed my cheeks, I can feel her gentleness.. not something like a cat in heat.”

“Of course, she obviously loves you, Nyaro.” Mariko pointed out as she intertwined her fingers to support her head. “And… You feel the same way for her too, right?” She asked in a very gentle tone.

The smile on Haruna disappears. “I don’t know.. I don’t know if we feel the same way, but…” She paused and stared down at her food. “I know what I’m feeling is more than what I felt before.” She met Mariko’s eyes with her lips smiling. “I feel weird.. but happy..”

Iie~ with Yuuchan, it’s definitely beyond the word happy can define…” she thought.

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“Aaaand CUT!! Good work!” the director shouted.

Atsuko went to her stuffs placed under the tree to find her towel to wipe her sweating face. A grab was felt on her right hand and her entire body was pulled downward behind the big sakura tree.

“Minami!” she exclaimed.

“Shhh~!” Takamina instructed as her hands covers Atsuko’s lips. “How’s the day going? You free to go?” She grinned.

“How did you get here?” with her eyes sparkling with joy, Atsuko asked.

“Tee hee~~” Takamina just giggled in reply. “Just thought that you missed me already, so I saved you the trouble of seeing me!” the short girl continued with a big grin.

“You little!” The sweaty girl teased. “Well, I do kinda missed you… and the others too…” They sat down on the ground and laid their backs on the tree trunk. “I missed everything… but… I have to move on… That’s why I’m happy seeing you here, Minami.” She lowered her head and rest it on Takamina’s shoulders. “I’m really happy.”

“Acchan, just go for it.. Our dreams should always come first, remember that.” Takamina cheered. “So when we meet again after I graduate, we’re both closer to it.. to our dreams.”

“And then you and me.. we… we can get married…” Atsuko whispered in a smile closing her eyes.

“EEeeehhhh???!!”

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The cold night wind blows through the windows of her room. And as her hair covers her face from dancing with the wind, she closes her eyes and smiled. To the veranda she walks, wearing only a satin night gown, not minding the cold breeze. Vision focused towards the starry sky, she held her hands near her chest and whispered “This… This will definitely reach you… Definitely… before everything in me runs out…”

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