Somewhere Between Friendship and Love

CHAPTER 05 - Pressures and Pains -

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Her vision is now starting to get blurry. Sayaka is pushing a lot of glass towards her. Being too cloudy that she is, it never occurred to her that the former team K captain is deliberately making her drunk.

“I’m sorry Yuko. This is the only way I know for you to let out all those that bother you…” She whispered to herself.

Yuko and Sayaka belong to the same team. Team K, which was formerly lead by Sayaka Akimoto became a very warm team, actually more like a family than what you call a team.

Obviously worried with Yuko, she managed to drag the new center home and execute her make-Yuko-confess plan to somehow be of help. Although she knows that this isn’t the best and right idea, knowing Yuko, making her drunk is the only way. Good thing is, she can hold alcohol better than the short girl.

“I’m just putting up a little distance…” Yuko mumbled. Her head is leaning over her hand which is holding her glass. “She wouldn’t notice it anyway…”

“You think so?” Sayaka seemed to disagree. She poured a little on her glass to show the mumbling girl that she’s not the only one drinking. “She’s obviously worried about you. Everyone in the group thinks so too…” and glanced at Yuko.

“I’m doing this for the group. If sacrificing a little would make the group grow, I’d gladly do.” She answered straight to the point while looking at her glass.

“But that distance, it doesn’t look a little to me…” Sayaka offered another glass. “You’re hurting Kojima too.” She paused to see how Yuko will react.

“Kojima-san… she’s… she probably wouldn’t feel this distance the way that I do…” Yuko drinks another glass.

“Hmm. Although she seemed not interested on what you feel, when you look at her closely, she’s already accepted your feelings a long time ago, Yuko…” Sayaka tried to explain the best that she can. “It’s like, without you knowing it, she’s put a lot of faith in you to take care of her heart. She’s never really a showy type of person but you yourself should be able to feel how much she’s happy and thankful for having you.” She further explained as she grabbed another bottle of sake. “It’s actually her that I feel sorry for about you keeping distance.” The bottle was now opened and another glass was filled.

Yuko shifts her eyes on Sayaka. There was a short moment of silence and a sigh was heard a little later. “I don’t want everyone to think that I’m neglecting my duties as a center and team K’s captain for being too scandalous” she smiled quoting the song about two girls being scandalous for being always together.

Hearing this, the girl on the other side of the table sported a shocked look. But somehow, she understands. She nodded. “So it really is the pressure of Acchan’s graduation that’s changed you…” She thought. “You really are a hard worker…” and gave Yuko a smile. “But, isn’t it too much to restrain yourself on doing things with Kojima? A simple hug wouldn’t hurt though…”

“It’s actually painful.” She signaled for another pour on her glass. “When I’m with her, I want to hug her, and kiss her, and just be lovey-dovey together like before…” she smiled after drinking her glass before looking away.

“And… what’s stopping you?” a good question from Sayaka.

The interrogated girl sighed. “I just think that… no… actually… every time I’m with her, there’s this feeling that I should be looking out on our juniors.” She signaled for another glass. “… and that I should be a good sempai who knows how to value work... that I just don’t fool around.”

“That’s…” Sayaka attempted to give a response.

“That if they saw me chasing around Kojima, they’ll think that I’m just thinking of myself and not caring about the image of the group.” Yuko interrupted in a shaky voice.

“Hmmm…” the other mumbled, thinking. “We’re actually much inspired to work seeing you harassing Kojima.” She giggles. “It gives a very warm atmosphere too, like a place where you can just be yourself that is…”

“But I don’t want to look like a slacker compared to Acchan or you…” Yuko murmured. Now she’s too drunk for another glass that lifting her glass seems impossible.

Sayaka gives off a very warm loud laugh on what she heard. “A slacker huh?” she giggled again uncontrollably. “You’re the one who’s making us look like a slacker!”

“What’s so funny?” pouting Yuko grunts. “So, my reasons… you found them stupid.” She took a deep breath.

“You know what?” Sayaka stands up and walks towards the drunk team mate. “Have you seen Acchan distancing herself from Takamina before? She’s been the center for years but she keeps on clinging to that midget until the very end… Or me on Sae? I am a former captain but I never even thought of doing that distance thing.” She placed her arm over Yuko’s neck. “We never do that. We don’t. Right?” she strongly said looking at Yuko with a smile. “Because we don’t care what the juniors would say. We’re AKB after all. We seniors… are a bunch of happy couples.” She winked.

“But… that’s…” Yuko’s trying to reason out. “Kojima-san and I… we… “ struggling on what to say. “I feel…” she closed her eyes and breathe in. “What I feel for her, it’s not like between Acchan and Takamina… nor Sae and you… it’s…”

“Iie~” Sayaka placed her fingers on Yuko’s lips. “It’s because you’ve been happy with Kojima ever since… you can’t see how the things outside your own little world are doing, which is really good. It makes you be yourself.” She explained. “Aside from you and Kojima, Acchan and Takamina’s relationship is somewhat just like yours. Sae and mine is a little light though. But even so, what I’m saying is, you just have to be yourself! Just like how Acchan was especially with the general manager.” She then carefully removes the glass from Yuko’s hands and gave another wink. “Stop holding back, Yuko…”

“Eh? Honto ni?” Yuko replied in a soft groggy voice. “All along I thought that Bakamina’s after her too…” she slumped on the table. “…after my NyanNyan too…” Tears, it starts to build up on the sides of her closed eyes. Little by little, smile finally appeared on her tired face.

Sayaka grinned. She poured the last remains of sake on her glass and emptied it to her throat looking at Yuko smiling on her sleep. “You’re NyanNyan huh?... finally…”

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The sweat drenched her hair and almost the upper half of her dress. Walking unsteadily towards her bed, she slumped her body over and curled up with both of her hands still holding her pounding head.

“This… this… is getting too frequent…” she smiled in pain and tears. “Not… yet…” she rolled over the opposite side of her bed weakly. Under her pillows came her hands searching for something. “I can’t… It hasn’t reached her yet…” Her hands were shaking badly as she opened a bottle of pills from under her pillow.

Struggling so much to take two tablets, you can see her eyes are on the verge of crying and her holding-it-in even though her hair covers almost her entire face. She holds her head with pressure. Her eyes closed and her body curled more on the very side of the bed.

“Just… just a little… bit… more…” heavy breaths resonate through the four walls of the room. “Onegai~”

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