Nirvana

Nirvana 38

I helped him get out as he smiled and I closed the curtain and passed him the towel that I had on. I ran the water as I let the steam take over my body, he soon came inside and grabbed the loofah from me.

"It's only right that I help you shower after you saved me Aaliyah. Don't be nervous, I promise I wouldn't try any funny business. Even though, I would love to show you what I think would please you." He smiled as I shied away from him and his hands firmly, but gently grabbed me.

He scrubbed my body gently as if he washing a baby, like a new born. It was refreshing and I had to get comfortable with his touch or else he was never letting go of me. I push him as he kissed my forehead and got closed. He realized that I did and completely backed off as I wanted him to do.

"I understand that you are growing uncomfortable. I do, so I will be waiting out here for you. Is that fine?" I nodded my head in shamefulness, he lifted my head up and smiled at me.

"I don't want to hurt you because that is the last thing I would ever want to do to you. I promise, you're a beautiful being and care so much for me that you would risk your life and health for me? I never had a girl feel or care so deeply for me. I just want to find a way to thank you." He said as he looked in my eyes as if he was searching for answers that I didn't say with my lips. He nodded and left the shower as I threw my head back and thought to myself. 

I never had this type of thing happen to me, so how do I know that I am doing something right or wrong? I can't believe that I am in this place with a guy that I would never imagine myself with in the first place. I didn't want to start thinking about my dad because I knew Adyan was right outside and I didn't want him to hear me cry. But, I couldn't help it.

"So, you want me to do this for you; because you don't want to pay him back and rather give up your oldest daughter for this?" I asked him as he looked at me like I just said something crazy.

"I am the father here, and you won't be talking to me in any type of way. Do you understand that?" He said while he stared deep into my soul.

"I'm not doing that, so I guess you're going to have to kick me out right? Let me find my way, like you always say father." I said as he grabbed me by my neck, Maya and Anya were in the living room. Not even less than five feet away. I could see from the corner of my eye, Maya crying and looking at me. Anya paid no mind because she wanted no part of it.

Mom came through the door and looked at the situation, I looked at her full of promise and she looked at him with so much anger in her eyes.

"What are you doing?"

"I was just talking to Aaliyah Rose, she needs to do something for all of us."

"She's doing what exactly?"

"She has to pay an old debt, that's all."

"Old debt, with who?" She said with the noticeable growth of irritation in her voice. I have never been more thankful for my mom than that day.

"Do you ever want to get out of my brother's place and back to our house? He said he will do it with a small fee. She is the fee." My dad, not even my dad a sperm loaner is what he is to me. He said it so cold and heartlessly with no regret in his face. Who does that or says that all for a small fee. I don't care if it takes us a thousand years to get back to the house, I rather be homeless than sell my body and live with the regret.

I clenched my teeth and looked at him as he looked at me as if he wanted to slap me. My mom stood in front of me, shielding me from him. She told me to go to our room and I slammed the door shut, making a loud noise leaving everyone silent. I wanted to yell, punch, scream and kick everything in sight. To know that your own father saw you nothing more than an a worthless piece of shit hurt me, I never asked him to produce me. I never told him to keep me, if didn't want me than he could have put me into adoption and have his two little girls.

But, I'm glad that I have Maya and Anya. I thank God for every day that I lived in this family because my bond only grew stronger, the ambition inside me only grew to do better and to be better than he ever was. So one day, he could be two faced and say that he was always proud of 'his little girl Aaliyah Rose'. That day would be blessings on blessings as Adyan puts his arms over me and walks off the podium stance with me.

I found myself sobbing into Adyan's arms and he comforted me as I openly cried to him without letting him know what the reason was. I know that he would want me to tell him, but it wasn't something that had to bother with him or anyone. I am not reliving it, nor was I trying to let it relive me.

He picked me up bridal style, wrapping me in the towel and leading us to the port. I laid down, shivering because it got colder in here. I cuddled with Adyan closely as I turned around to see if Dylan was in the room. I didn't want my blood to boil, nor did I have time to see Dylan getting beat up again. But, if it was to happen; I wouldn't completely mind because he deserved it. Adyan was right about him, I just wanted to think otherwise because I am too good of a person to see the bad in others.