New beginnings (boyxboy)✔

N.B 26

Rainier's POV

What I dreaded soon happened. I suppose I should have seen it coming. I mean, all the signs were there. It was only a matter of time.

I had a nightmare about Tristan while I was with Ryan. It was on one weekend Ryan and I had fallen asleep in his room. We'd been watching a movie, and the coziness sort of got to us. We ended up falling asleep. Ryan slept peacefully, I didn't. My dream was of a familiar scene, with a different ending. In the dream, the crash happened just as before, but towards the end Tristan -who should at that time have been unconscious- turned to me. Wrapping his hands around my throat, he started choking me. I struggled against his hands feverishly, wanting anything but to die. Before I woke up, Tristan said,

"How long can you keep resisting?"

I didn't wake up spontaneously. Someone had shaken me out of the dream, looking scared and confused but determined. Apparently I had been acting out my dream. I had been visibly struggling against hands that were not there. Ryan didn't miss the gasp Tristan's words elicited and the panting that came afterwards.

I told him it was just a nightmare. People had nightmares, it wasn't that odd. He didn't look convinced but I changed the subject. I couldn't stop myself thinking about it though and I became aloof with Ryan. He noticed, after having to call my name every time he said something. I could tell he was worried, but he didn't say anything. He didn't push and that just made me feel guilty. Why couldn't I just tell him?

A week before Christmas Ryan came to my house. My parents were out and so was Julie so it was just the two of us. We watched movies until nighttime. Though I liked spending time with him, I was still thinking about the incident at his house, so I didn't say much.

Thought Ryan was deterred by my mood, it didn't put him off kissing me. He liked doing that and I loved it. I didn't think about anything but us when we kissed. Fearing that someone would walk in, we went to my room. We were still a secret so my parents didn't know. They didn't have to say it, but I knew they knew something was going on between us. Ryan and I hung out alone, that's enough to make any parent suspicious. My parents not pushing to know was weird, but I guess they hoped whatever it was I would tell them soon.

When Ryan and I got to my room, we were kissing, which made closing the door a little difficult. We managed it. We took a breather. Ryan lay on the bed.

"I should probably lock the door", I said going to the door.

"You hate it, don't you?" Ryan asked. It was more a statement than a question.

"Hate what?" I asked.

"This secrecy thing", he said.

I went to the foot of the bed, sitting just next to his legs. I shook my head. "I don't".

"Then why have you been distant?" he asked.

Expecting something doesn't necessarily mean you become ready for it. I knew one day he would ask, but it still caught me off-guard.

"It's not that. I've just been tired lately. The fundraising was tiring", I lied.

"How much money have you made so far?" he asked, seemingly buying into my story.

"$30 000", he said.

"I wish someone would give me that much money", he said.

I smirked. "You are not disadvantaged".

"I'll have you know I am. Right now what I'm missing is your kiss. Come here", he said sitting up.

"You don't have to buy it", I said seconds before our lips met.