New beginnings (boyxboy)✔

N.B 31

I knew coming out to my uncle and the rest of the family was going to be hard. I was worried that they would reject me. I was worried that my sexual orientation was going to put even more strain in the relationship I was trying to forge with my uncle. Truthfully I didn't know how to do it. I knew I didn't want them to find out by themselves though, so I had to tell them.

I had never done anything like it. I had never needed to tell anyone except Rain my sexual orientation. But being bisexual was something different. It shouldn't have been, but it was. I had to look at everyone's faces and tell them I liked guys. I dreaded it.

I wanted to do it that night, but my uncle was furious. I couldn't tell him in that state. I needed him calm to be able to digest what I was saying. I got shouted at a lot that night. I couldn't even tell him I had taken the truck and left work early in order to 'save' Rain. I just listened and didn't argue.

The next morning however, I decided I couldn't wait any longer. If I waited I would never get to tell them. We were at the breakfast table. I waited for Emily and Sally to go upstairs to get their bags.

My aunt stood up.

"Uh, can you guys please sit down for a few seconds? There are some things I want you to know", I said.

My aunt sat down, looking visibly annoyed.

"First, I just want you to know I am really sorry for my past behavior. I know I've been a terrible nephew and employee, and I'm terribly sorry. I want to do things right from now on", I said.

No one looked like they believed me, but they were listening and that was something.

"Second..." I said and took a deep breath. "I want to have contact with my daughter. I'm going to try and do that. I know everyone thought it was better if I let her go, but I can't", I said.

"Are you sure?" My uncle asked.

I nodded. "What I'm asking is for your support".

"How do you...plan on achieving that?" my aunt asked, looking skeptical.

"I'm not sure yet, but I'm looking at my options", I said.

My uncle nodded. "Just say what we can help you with". By 'we', he meant himself. My aunt didn't seem to be happy about what I said. She was probably thinking I was going to push for custody and make my daughter her responsibility.

My uncle stood up.

"Wait, there's something else", I said and he sat down.

"You are going to have to be quick, we need to go", he said.

"I'm..." I said. Rain's face swam in front of me and I made up my mind. It was now or never. "I'm bisexual. I just wanted you to know in case you...I didn't want you to be surprised when... I know it's not conventional. I...I have a boyfriend and I just didn't want you to be surprised". I was starting to blab. I just felt like talking to disguise the silence that would rain afterwards. They both looked shocked.

Rain had said it was probably better to leave out the boyfriend part. Oopsie! Oh well.

As predicted, there was silence. It was punctuated by Emily shouting, "Hurry up Sally. We'll leave and you'll walk to kindergarten!" She was in the entryway.

"Did your dad know this?" my uncle finally asked.

I shook my head.

"When did you decide you... yeah...you know", uncle asked. He couldn't even bear to say it. It wasn't going well so far.

"I don't remember. It was a long time ago. And I didn't decide to be like this. It happened", I replied.

"Wow!" my aunt exclaimed. It was not an excited 'wow'. She was in disbelief.

"I don't know what to think of this", my uncle said.

"You don't have to think much about it. It changes nothing", I said.

"It changes nothing?!" my aunt shouted. "You like men. It's disgusting. I guess it does change something, you won't go around having thousands of babies you can't afford".

I felt like I had just been slapped. This was it. I had provoked my aunt to the point where she wasn't afraid to say things to my face. She had had enough. This time she wasn't afraid of my uncle, knowing he shared the same thoughts as her.

...Thousands of babies? I had only one daughter, who though wasn't planned, I loved very much. How is one even close to a thousand?

"Don't you dare talk to him like that!" my uncle shouted. Was he...was he taking my side?

My aunt was taken aback. She hadn't expected that. She recovered herself.

"I will talk to him however I want! I told you this nephew of yours is a ticking time bomb. First he ruins his own life and gets a girl pregnant, then he beats her up. If that wasn't enough, he got involved with crime. You brought him here and what did he do? He disobeyed you and went to parties, coming home drunk. He got caught with weed in his locker. And now he tells us he is bisexual. Can you not see he is broken beyond repair? I will not allow him to spread his filth to my daughters!" she shouted.

"Do you hear yourself? What's Ryan being bisexual got to do with Emily and Sally?" my uncle asked.

"Who knows what he teaches them?! He is probably telling them it is okay to be with a person of the same sex, and it's not! I want him away from my kids" she said.

"What are you saying?"'

"The same thing I've always said. It is either me and our kids or him. This time I mean it. You have to make your decision, now", she said adamantly.

Things had escalated quickly. In just seconds my aunt was threatening to leave my uncle, and it was all because of me. I couldn't let it happen.

"Uncle, you don't have to choose. I'll go pack my bags", I said quietly.

I walked out of the kitchen and up the stairs. I passed Emily who called my name but I couldn't answer. I didn't want her to see how sad I was.

In my room- which was soon to have no trace of me- I texted Rain.

I told them. I love you.

I pressed 'send'. I didn't want to explain to him just yet. I located the suitcase I had brought with me. It didn't take long before I had packed all of my clothes. I didn't have much anyway, I had sold most of them for cash. I packed my schoolbag too.

My phone rang. It was Rain. I didn't want to answer because I didn't feel like explaining everything, but I knew he would just get worried.

"Hey baby", I said as I answered.

"What happened?" he asked. There was concern in his voice. It was as if he already knew.

"Uh...they aren't okay with it. My aunt asked uncle to choose between her and me. I know what he was going to choose so I saved myself the heartache of hearing him choose. I'm leaving the house..." I said and heard him gasp.

"Where will you go?" he asked.

"I'll get a room at the cheapest motel with the money I saved. I don't know about long term, but I'll figure something out. Just know I won't disappear on you, okay?"

"Uh...okay", he said. I could hear the hesitancy in his voice. He was scared for me. "Maybe I could talk to my parents about letting you stay at the house for a while".

"No baby, I'll be fine. I've been here before...and this time it'll be different. I'll get a decent job. I won't get involved in crime, I swear", I said.

"Ryan, you know I don't think about that. I just want you to be safe and okay", he said.

"I know baby. I will be okay. I need to go now before my aunt comes to throw me out herself. I will call you again. Enjoy school", I said.

"Can you send me the address as soon as you find a room? I just want to see you", he said.

"I will. Bye", I said.

*