My Voice for My Heart

Chapter 10: Còiseam

Còiseam's Point of View

I saw Keela twirling the ring we had given her on her finger nervously. I had held her for just a short moment after a hellish day of misunderstandings. I clenched my fists to stop myself from reaching for her. I was beginning to comprehend why Bhaltair had needed to keep her at a distance; having her close and not being able to show her how I felt was painful.

I masked my surprised when her father said he and Maeve had been talking about Keela. As far as Bhaltair and I understood, they had just planned on announcing their marriage to her. I wondered anxiously what we might have missed in leaving the banquet early.

"Sir?" Keela asked politely, her head turning to the side.

"Well, Keela," her father said, standing up and coming around his desk to lean against it, "You are no longer a child, and it is time that you marry."

I schooled my features despite the fear gripping me. Keela's eyes remained focused on her father thought she clasped her fingers together tightly and I could see the pulse in her throat hammering.

"Lady Maeve, once she heard my concerns, has suggested an appropriate suitor. One who, though far from here, will be a good match." 


Keela swayed, but righted herself, "Far from here?"

"Yes, Keela," her father answered, turning around and placing a hand on Lady Maeve's shoulder, "Lady Maeve, as my wife, will be in charge of the household. I have no need of you and it is time you were someone else's problem."

"Which brings me to the next change," he stated, looking at Bhaltair, "Maeve's brothers will soon be joining us here. They have skill in advising and management, and so you will be going back to your homes."

He was sending us away as well?

Keela's face went white, the blood draining from her face.

"Send them away?" she whispered, "why?"

"It's not your concern Keela," her father reiterated, "You can leave now. Your husband will arrive by the end of the week so I suggest you ready yourself."

Lady Maeve stepped forward, her hand reaching for Keela. I saw her flinch and took a step to stop her, as did Bhaltair, but she did nothing more than tuck a stray hair behind Keela's ear.

"Your husband is a good man," Lady Maeve told her reassuringly, "he has a house and a keep this size, and won't mistreat you."


Keela's eyes were wide and frightened, but she nodded.

I tried not to close my eyes against the pain that swamped me when I thought of Keela belonging to anyone but us. Bhaltair had told us this was a possibility. He had known that Lady Maeve's arrival portended change, and he had not imagined it would not happen so quickly, and he hadn't suspected that Lord Arden's marriage would mean we would be sent away.

We had collected Lady Maeve at her brother, Diarmuid's, home, where she had been living since her first husband's death. She had no children, and so the house and land had fallen to a nephew, leaving Lady Maeve without a home.

Her brother's house seemed small, but well-run, surrounded by fields and farms, the size of could have supported a larger estate than the one her brother controlled.

Maeve was supposed to be a messenger for her brother, answering Lord Arden's request for the military support he knew he'd need once he named Bhaltair his heir.

My gaze traveled from Keela to Bhaltair, who, instead of seeming upset about the news that the position he'd been raised to believe was his, had been yanked out from under him, looked relieved.

"Come," Lady Maeve told Keela, holding her arm and dragging her toward the door, "I'll help you begin to pack."


Lord Arden watched his new wife hungrily, but indulgently, as she led Keela through the door before turning to Bhaltair.

"I imagine you must have some questions," he said, his face serious.

"I do," Bhaltair said, his voice serious and deep, a leader's voice, "I want to marry Keela."

I swallowed hard against the sudden sickness I felt threatening. Lord Arden barked out a laugh while I clenched my jaw to keep from begging, instead counting and classifing the antlers Lord Arden had displayed on his walls.

"You can't be serious," he said, when Bhaltair failed to join into the hilarity.

"I am," Bhaltair answered, his gaze steady.

"Well you're too late," Arden replied, "I promised her to another."
"You haven't even sent the messenger yet," Bhaltair argued, "and it would behoove you to think about which alliance would benefit you more. My family, or that of an unknown."


Arden stood up from his chair, walking to Bhaltair threateningly. Though he was taller than Bhaltair, he lacked the assurance and grace, and looked entirely less than as the two stood face to face.

My hand went to my waist, gripping the hilt of my dagger should Arden make a move to harm him.

"Careful," Arden warned, his voice shaking with anger, "do not give me cause to injure you. I have loved you like a son."


Bhaltair's lip curled in the ghost of a smile, "I merely ask that you weigh my offer. My father is your oldest and best ally, and though I may be a second son, he will be upset to learn that you have broken your agreement with him. An alliance through marriage between our houses will benefit us both." 


Arden stepped back, his hand lightly stroking his chin as he turned away from Bhaltair, who met my eyes. He had taken a huge risk, but we both knew, whatever Arden's answer, we would be leaving with Keela. All Bhaltair was trying to do now was avoid leaving with soldiers in our wake.

"I will consider it," Arden answered at last, turning around, "I know that our family's alliance is strong, but you have clearly taken my lessons to heart by trying to tie them together by marriage. I am not sure if what I am feeling is pride that you made such an offer, or anger with the tone in which it was given."

"No offense was intended," Bhaltair replied, bowing slightly at the waist.

Arden made a gesture with his hand, dismissing us completely, "Go," he said, "I will give you an answer and I will hold the messenger. Expect my answer this afternoon."

Bhaltair bowed again, and I followed suit, before we left his study silently. His step was quick and assured as he led us out of the house into the busy keep.

"Let everyone know. We leave tonight. I won't wait around for him."

I nodded, walking with him a few steps further before breaking away. I took a circuitous route before ending back up at the house.

I knew that Aodhan would be practicing in the banquet hall, finding the section of the room that projected the sound of his instruments best, and putting the other musicians through their paces.

Aodhan had been apprenticed to an especially cruel master, and a lot of the joy he used to have when playing had disappeared. He rarely complained, but seemed to retreat into himself, especially when performing, becoming cold and untouchable.

I was surprised and relieved to find him alone. His eyes blazed at me in question when he saw me, but he remained seated, continuing to tune his instrument.

I sat next to him and picked up an additional lute that sat at his feet, and began to pluck at the strings, bending my head down so it wouldn't be clear that I was talking.

"We're leaving tonight," I told him, "after the evening meal."


"Which wave am I?" he asked.

"The second," I told him, "like we discussed."

He gave one short, imperceptible nod before beginning a simple melody. I began to copy the repeating notes before standing up and handing him the lute.

I could see excitement and worry in his eyes, and I knew mine reflected the same.