My Voice for My Heart

Chapter 35: Comparing Caves

Keela

I felt a combination of anger and guilt when I watched Aghaidh leave. I knew what he was asking me to do, and as much friendship as I felt for him, and gratitude, I wouldn't stop making the shirts for my family. They were my priority. They were my heart. I would give up anything and everything for them. Aghaidh's threat didn't truly even give me pause.

Phillip gave me a sad smile, as if he could read my mind. He stood and patted my cheek, leaving after Aghaidh, to talk to him, or give me space; I wasn't sure.

Being alone in the cottage made me miss my family even more though, and I contemplated making a trip to the lake, risking a run-in with McKendricks just for a quick glance.

I looked down at the shirt in my hands and went back to weaving. I didn't have as much daylight left as I really needed to finish it, but by tomorrow or the next day, if my fingers weren't too swollen, I should have another completed.

When it was too dark to see my needle, I gathered up my supplies. I'd hollowed out a little space beneath a floorboard to keep my things. Something about having everything exposed and in the open terrified me. I'd hidden the shirts beneath Phillip's bed, the unused skeins beneath the table, and the one I was working on underneath the chair where I worked.

I heard the door slam as I began to heat the kettle for tea and turned to it with a smile that was quickly wiped from my face.

"You have to leave," Phillip said. "I don't know for how long. It's not safe."


My heart began to pound and I felt a cold sweat break out on my neck. Why? I wondered.

I began to gather my things. "Leave them," Phillip instructed. "I'll bring them to you. Go to the lake. Stay there." 


I shook my head.

"You need to go now, Keela," Phillip said, pushing me toward the door. "There isn't time. Go."

His eyes were wild.

I gave one last glance at my supplies and left, running out the door. I skidded past the animals, and toward the woods. I got some sideways glances, looks that seemed to cement the belief that I was crazy, but no one made a move to stop me. When I got to the woods, I considered my next move.

I wanted to go to the lake, but I wondered if I would be inviting danger there. I clutched my side with my hand, squeezing the cramp that had formed. I felt an internal pull to the lake, stronger than I'd felt in all the time since I'd last been there. I didn't question it anymore, I just ran, tripping over clumsy feet and tumbling out of the forest. I made such a racket that I couldn't hear anything at first over the breaking branches and leaves. I landed on my hands and knees, the air whooshing out of me. I winced when I felt a branch pierce my skin, and pushed myself back onto my heels.

The swans were watching me. Balthair's grey eyes fixed on mine as I stood and stumbled toward the water. If he had been human, he would have raised an eyebrow and looked at me disapprovingly. Ciaran would have yelled at me for running without looking where I was going, and Rab would have snorted, sure I was in trouble.

I waved, barely lifting my fingers.

I wanted so much to talk to them.

I missed you. 
I'm sorry.

I wanted to come so badly.

Are you all right?

But I could ask none of these things. I couldn't explain why I was gone, or why I had suddenly appeared like a storm cloud. The swans glided away. I felt a sob build in my throat, but then, almost as one, they turned back, as if waiting. Then they did it again. Balthair stared at me, and I sprang into action. I followed them as best as I could, wading in the shallow water as the sandy bottom became more muddy, and I had to trek through slimy grass and lily pads. They floated through cattails and I tried to keep up, sloshing as quietly as I could through the deepening water.