My Voice for My Heart

Chapter 24: A New Start

(A/N- This chapter is dedicated to Jordiscy, who is always inspiring.) 

Keela

Every day I tried to sneak out the window. But the fifth time seemed to be the one that really frustrated my kidnappers. They reassured me that I was safe. That nothing would happen to me. That they wouldn't hurt me.

It was true; they hadn't hurt me, and nothing had happened to me, but they'd taken all my supplies, and the thread I'd spent so much time weaving. I'd nearly lost it in the ocean, and now that I was safe, they'd taken it.

When we'd dragged ourselves from the ocean, and come to this strange place, I'd still had my work.

But when I began to lay out my supplies, silently crying over what had been ruined, and then began to mash and spin again, they'd taken it.

"What are you doing?" One woman had cried out, seeing my hand swell as the thistle pierced my skin. They'd let out shocked cries. They thought I was mad. That I was purposefully hurting myself.

But I had a reason for it, I had a purpose. I just couldn't explain it to them. I couldn't tell them I was breaking a curse. So they took it, probably thinking they were protecting me, helping me.

The men who brought me here had left. The big one, the one with the strange accent and the one with dark skin had come to say goodbye. They'd patted my head and told me I'd be safe. They waited for me to answer, and when I didn't they'd shrugged and gone on their way.

Now I was left here with a motley group of people who, while kind, looked at me like I was waiting to throw myself from a parapet.

If they weren't going to let me do what I needed to, then I needed to escape and start over again. I was running out of time. Two moons had passed and I knew we were quickly closing in on the third. I had no thread and no shirts, and...

I took a deep breath, trying to calm the building panic. I opened the door to my room, and met the stony face of a servant. She narrowed her eyes at me, and I gave her a tentative smile, holding up hands as if to say, just going for a walk. Her eyes narrowed further, and she watched me as I slipped down the stairs. Hers were not the only stony glances I received. Everyone was mad at me.

I walked out the front door and into the courtyard before heading to the small shed that was set away from the main house. I knocked lightly on the wooden door and went inside when a voice called out, "Enter."


Intelligent blue eyes met mine as I walked inside.

"Why hello!" The man, Phillip, said with a friendly voice. He was the healer for this place. I think he may have been a teacher because people came and went from his shed all day long.

"What can I do for you?"

I gestured to him, needle and thread, and his eyes narrowed.

"I don't have it," he told me.

I pulled my hands to my chest and gave him a pleading look, the one that always worked on Rab and made him demand, "Pull in that lip."

He stared at me for a moment and then shook his head, chuckling darkly.

"It would help if you would tell me why you want it so much," he told me, leaning across the work table and regarding me closely. "It scares people to see you hurting yourself."

I wanted to tell him, but I couldn't. So I met his gaze steadily, and tried to impart with everything in me how important it was for me to have my supplies back.

He sighed, and lifted a hand to smooth down his shock of white hair.

"Would you accompany me on a walk?" he asked slowly, as if he was requesting more than a walk. I hesitated for a moment, but nodded, placing my hand in the crook of his elbow.

He led me out of the shed and through the courtyard.

"Think it's safe?" a guard asked as we walked by.

"I think so," he answered. "We'll be back soon."


Phillip led me down a sunny path, and through fields, away from the main house and in the opposite direction of the ocean.

"Look," he said, pointing.

I had to squint at the reflected brightness. We'd come to a pond. It was surrounded by green fields. I could see a small dock with a boat tied to a post. And surrounding the pond, all around, was yellow distaff thistle. I sucked in a breath, clapping my hands together before throwing myself into Phillip's arms. He laughed and patted my back.

I took his hands in mine and smiled up into his face. His face creased into a smile, two dimples appearing in his cheeks and making him look younger.

"I don't know why it is that you need this so badly, but I have to trust that it is not out of desire to injure yourself."


I shook my head emphatically.

He patted our joined hands and smiled. "Please be back before dark, dear. I'll see that your materials are returned to you."


I couldn't help the tears that filled my eyes. I nodded.

He left me there, and I spent the rest of the afternoon gathering the thistle I would need. I felt hope I hadn't had in a long while.

After I bundled together my thistle, I sat by the lake, kneeling by the quiet shore and dipping my hands in the water. It was warmer than the water near my cave. I would have to explore again tomorrow to find the ingredients for the salve I'd need.

I felt a splash against my face and sat back quickly. It took a moment for my mind to process what I saw.

Nine swans, gently gliding across the pond. I covered my mouth with my hand; peering closely, trying not to move quickly and frighten them.

The one closest to me had black eyes, and he was larger than the other swans.

Atoll? 


I let myself hope.

One fluttered his wings, flapping the water away and splashing me again. I looked closely, brown eyes peered back at me before he dove under the water, emerged and flapped his wings again, splashing the others and earning an angry squawk from another larger swan.

Finn and Ciarian? 
Another swan floated by me, his eyes a crystal clear blue. He floated in one direction and then back again. He arched his neck in the air, preening and then settling.

Rab.

There was Dand, floating alone, but watching me closely. And then four together, necks gracefully arced as if conferencing on the possibility of approaching me.

Black eyes like fire. Lively, laughing blue eyes. Green eyes like the leaves on our oak tree.

And serious grey, staring at me, piercing my heart with their intelligence.

I lifted my hand slowly, giving my family a small wave.

They converged on me, swimming back and forth, barely causing a ripple in the pond.

We stayed there, staring at each other, as the sun lowered. I shivered and was reminded of my promise to Phillip.

I have to go, I thought.

If I wanted to return. If I wanted to save them. I had to leave them now.

I pressed my hand against my heart, trying to convey to them how much I loved them. I felt a tear streak down my cheek and I hastily wiped it away.

I stood slowly, holding the thistle, and walked away. They watched me, treading water gently.

When they were tiny white specks on the water, I turned and ran back to the house. I would work all night, and then tomorrow I would return.

I hoped they would still be here.