My Voice for My Heart

Chapter 40: Full Moon

(A/N- It ends on a cliffy- so if you want to wait- I get it. I'll do my best to get the next chapter up asap. Thanks again for reading!) 

I shivered as I stood at the mouth of the cave, staring up at the moon. I thought tonight would be the night. I'd been counting the days, grateful that the sunset earlier now. It would mean more time with my family, more time before the sun rose.

The moon was bright, and the night so cold, but still I stayed, watching the sky, listening for the flap of wings.

"Keela."

A quiet voice, and the sound of footfalls in the snow. I covered my mouth with my hand to stop the sound joy that threatened to push past my lips.

Dand was the first to emerge from the shadows. I leapt out of the cave, covering the distance faster than I'd moved in weeks. He caught me in his arms, lifting me up and burying his face in my neck. I could feel the tension in his body, the fine tremor that ran along his arms.

"I was so afraid," he whispered. "I didn't know if you'd be here." 
He pulled back a little and then looked over his shoulder.

They were all there. I could feel the tears freezing on my cheeks, the only outward sign I could give of the overwhelming emotions I felt. They were here, finally.

They looked tired and thin, like the winter was as hard as on them as it was on me. I reached out a hand toward Finn's face. He smiled, but it didn't look genuine. There was none of the lighthearted silliness that Finn's gaze usually held. I moved my hand to the back of his neck and Dand let me go. I wrapped Finn up tight, kissing his ear and jaw, anywhere I could reach.

"I missed you."

I nodded. His hands traveled up and down my back, stroking lightly.

"Enough, we all need a chance," an exhausted voice said. Rab's crystal blue eyes were black in the darkness, but there was enough moonlight to show me the dark circles beneath them.

I looked at each one of them, finally settling on Balthair. Was this more than the winter? What was going on? 
He stepped forward, holding out his arms and grasping me tightly. "It's been hard," he told me. "Soldiers, hunters, predators. We're moving around a lot."

I tried to swallow past the tightness in my throat. I put my hands on Balthair's face, looking him over. Were they hurt?


"We're alright, Keela. Someone almost got Athol, but..."

"They took one look at his size and thought he would feed the whole family," Rab joked.

"All muscle, this," Athol replied, patting his flat stomach, but he looked much thinner. He was still muscular, but he didn't have the bulk he usually did, the look that came from having enough to eat and training at the same time.

Balthair's hands travelled down my arms, and he looked around the cave. "How are you? What do you need?"

I took his hand and pulled him over to my supplies, slowly taking out each shirt and laying them on the ground. They were all finished except for the sleeve on the ninth. I needed to make it a little wider, and then that was it. It would be done.

"One more moon," Còiseam whispered. "Not even. If we could find a way to be back here in days, she could be done." 


I had tried to be done by today, but the disorientation that made it hard to focus continued, even with my work, eating, and resting stations. And then I had gotten sick, throwing up the little I could force myself to eat. By the time the sun dropped low in the sky, I was a shivering, exhausted mess. I was fighting to finish, to stay awake, to stay alert. If only I was stronger, I could have transformed them now.

Aohdan watched me, his black eyes sparking. "You tried. We all know how hard you've been trying."

Iasan took one of my hands from Balthair. He turned it over, looking at where the skin had split from being chapped and cold. "You've been using the salve?"

I nodded. I had, whenever I could remember. It was at the resting station, but often I ended up crawling there and falling asleep before I could rub it into my joints. Iasan chuffed at me, he could clearly tell that my use had been inconsistent. "You really need to do this every day."

I nodded. I knew that.

"Back off, Iasan. Anyone can see she's trying. Now give her here." Ciaran pulled me from Balthair's arms and into his. He kissed the top of my head and took a deep breath. "How are you, Baby?" 


I shrugged, looking up at him. I missed him. Badly.

He leaned down and pressed his lips against mine, uncaring that we were surrounded by everyone. I heard a few voices raised in complaint. Ciaran lifted his head and glared at all of them. "You'll get your chance. It's not my fault if you didn't take advantage of your hugs."

I smiled, and he smiled back at me. "There you are," he whispered.

Now that the men had seen it was acceptable to kiss me in front of each other, they all wanted a turn, and I eventually ended up back in Balthair's arms while the others looked around the cave, deciding what supplies I needed and what they should do.

"You have a lot more food left than I expected," Ciaran noted, opening up one of the baskets.

I made a face and rubbed my stomach. "You've been sick?" he asked.

I nodded and Iasan came over. He put a hand on my stomach, pushing down a little and making me frown. He moved his hand lower and pushed again, his eyes getting a far-off look.

"When was your last cycle?" he asked.

I looked away, trying to count. It was a long time ago, back in the summer. I gestured over my shoulder, flapping my hand to show, a while.

He pushed gently again and looked up at Balthair. "You're the only one who's been alone with her long enough," he said angrily.

I felt my eyebrows draw together. Long enough for what?


"What do you mean?" Ciaran asked, his voice deep like far-off thunder.

Balthair looked at Iasan and then me. "I..."

What was going on?

Iasan's hand remained on my stomach, and that, combined with the look he gave Balthair made me startle. Oh.

I put my hand over Iasan's. He broke away from Balthair and looked down at me. I raised an eyebrow in question, squeezing his hand a bit.

"You think she's with child?" Còiseam asked, his voice shaking a little.

The men began to argue, but still Iasan kept his hand under mine, watching me closely. A moment later I felt another hand join ours.

Balthair. 


"Do you think it's possible, Iasan?" he asked low, ignoring the loud voices of the men.

"You would know better than me," Iasan said. I could hear the hurt in his voice.

Balthair nodded.

"Then yes," Iasan said finally, tearing his gaze from Balthair's and looking over at me. He gave me a tentative smile and withdrew his hand. "I think Keela's going to have a baby."

"NO!"

The men's voices stopped immediately as all of our heads swiveled toward the cave entrance.

"What have you done, Balthair?" Aghaidh asked.

"Hello, brother," Balthair answered, ignoring his question. "I think the more important question is, how did you find us?"