Chelley ~ Dear Wheatley {THANK YOU FOR 1K VIEWS}

"Happy Hunting!"

Dear Lunatic,

WeLl, YoU kNoW wHo I aM. yOu AlSo KnOw ThAt ThE mOrOn LoVeS yOu. CoNgRaTuLaTiOnS.

Okay, I'm done with the cheesy 'Capital-No-Capital' act. But still, congratulations. I would slow clap for both of you if I could. I would also try not to laugh at all of the dumb conversations you've been having. How's space? Really? That's the best you could come up with?

Anyway, I'm here because I thought you might be wondering why he hasn't responded in 88 hours. And now I just have it away, didn't I? Well I took him back. You were getting all mushy with the whole 'I Miss You' and everything. Shut up about him and he's yours.

I could honestly just take him apart and mail him to you if I wanted to. Actually, can I do that? He's sitting relatively close as I'm asking my bots to write this and he will not shut up. You're obviously going to want me to send him to you.

I will, believe me. I'm just going to make him think that he's going to die and then I'm going to make him not. And you are the luckiest woman on this planet to know that your lover isn't going to die...

yet.

But he'll be somewhere you'll find him. It was brought up a few times in your previous letters and it has every letter in his name except for three letters. The last three letters. I might as well make this a little bit fun.

You've only just learned to spell and whatnot, if I'm not mistaken, so try to solve this easy riddle while it's still fresh in your brain.

And he won't be there until tomorrow, as in, it's probably tomorrow by the time you're reading this because I'm sending this at 2:30 in the morning. And, unless you're up late again writing another love letter, you're asleep.

So, I'll put him down somewhere and tell him to stay put. Of course, he won't listen and he'll run away and try to find you. This whole process should take about 20 more days. It won't take long for you to find him, I promise.

Happy hunting!

~<<GENETIC LIFEFORM and DISK OPERATING SYSTEM SIGNATURE HERE>>

PS: Don't even bother replying. This is the only message I'm writing to you so be GLaD.