Her Dark Side

Chapter Three

Jack becomes startled at my response and throws a hand over my mouth to shut me up. With his handsome eyes wide open, he silently begs me not to make another sound while I have a quick inner battle at whether to fight back or not. On one hand I'm in the arms of a criminal, someone worthy of many life sentences but I'm also in the arms of my partner whom I once trusted with my life. However before I can make a choice he's already pulling me somewhere away from my car, behind the car park fence.

He sits me down on the floor and takes a seat by me. I turn to look into at his face and the change actually startles me. His features are still there but they've aged a little and the cheeky glint he always has in his eye is gone. I felt my cheeks begin to dampen as he stares back at me with his eyes still very wide open.

"I haven't gotten that ugly have I?" I ask with a weak voice, it coming out in barely whisper.

His face breaks into a small smile. "Well..." And for that, he receives a light punch to the arm. "Ow! Forget your looks! You're punches have gotten weaker."

"Oh really?" I lift an eyebrow as I raise a hand high. "On the contrary I think I've gotten better. Can I show you how good I've gotten at slapping?" He looks at me, a curious look falling on to his face and I notice a glint of playfulness in his eye but he doesn't say anything, probably thinking I'm just joking so you can imagine how he choked in shock after I gave him a good slap across his right cheek.

After that he sits in silence while staring at me in horror. "I'm sorry,"  is all he can croak out when he realises all the playfulness from when he first came was gone. I'm happy he's back but he needs to know how angry I am that he hadn't come back sooner.

"It's not a case of being sorry. Sorry is bumping into me by accident. Sorry is dropping my china. Sorry might even cut missing an important date. Sorry is not being gone three years and abandoning me." I rant while holding his gaze. He didn't break it for a second though and I gave him credit for that however then he just sat in silence. He knows there's nothing he can say to fix this.

Instead I throw myself into his arms hoping he might still realise despite what I said I'm going to give him one last chance. Because if he doesn't take it... then my last three years will have been a complete waste. My child thinks the nanny is her mother because I've been so absent.

"Why?" I cry into his shoulder but he doesn't answer me. He just holds me back so I don't fall. I hadn't even realised my knees had buckled. I then pull away and get to my feet when I finish, trying to control my sobs by covering my face with my now soaking wet sleeve. "Why did you leave?"

I look down at his face which is full of pity, a look I hated, and waited for him to answer me.

"I..." He begins but then he stops, suddenly looking over his shoulder briskly then looking back at me. "Look..." He pauses again with a hurt look on his face. Whatever he's about to say can't be good. I take a breath and prepare myself. "I don't have time for this."

My whole body freezes. "What?"

I knew it'd be bad but not that bad.

He clears his throat as he gets up to his feet and joins me in standing. "I wasn't even coming to see you. I'm just here on business but then I saw you there, so close to me and I somehow ended up stood behind you. I couldn't help myself." He says looking to his hands and then my car probably thinking back to when he grabbed my shoulder.

"What?" I shake my head at him not believing it. He can't mean that. "Uh, uh. No way." I turn back around as if he isn't there and I begin to walk to my car, pinching at my side to make sure I'm not dreaming. Before I can get there though, I feel him grab my arm and pull me back behind the wall.

"After everything we've been through you're just going to walk away?" He demands in a low voice, only centimetres from me. His eyes are so close I can see the speckles that cover his bright iris'.

"What, you mean like how you did?" I demand back in an equally authoritative tone. "And you basically just admitted you don't care about me! Why shouldn't I walk away?"

His face twisted in to a pained look. How dare he have the audacity to act hurt after what he just said! "I'm here aren't I? Is that not good enough?"

"No it's not! Why couldn't you have just left me at my car! Allowed me to carry on thinking you cared a little more than... well, this!" I stare him down as he stares back but he quickly looks down at the floor sheepishly despite how superior he tries to act. "You left me and I was doing everything to get you back. Now I'm finding out you don't even care?"

"No... Well yes... Well, originally I really did leave to save you. Willow, everything I've done is to save you. Now I'm going to die for it." He mumbles and I notice his eyes glass over a little. He was still far too close for comfort. Anyone else and I would have shoved him away a little but for some reason right now, I couldn't bring myself to do it. I had missed him too much.

"Why do that if you don't care?" I asked in a whisper unable to raise my voice now. I'm tired of all this.

"I did care. But if I had allowed myself to carry on caring... they would have taken advantage of that. Of you! So I made myself forget you. I'm sorry." He quietly slipped in at the end and that flared something inside of me. If what he was saying was true... everything from now on was going to be different. I'd have nothing to strive for. To live for.

I still have my child but... no one will ever love me back. Not even the child does.

"No, I'm sorry. But I never asked you to save me." I say quietly feeling like I should regret allowing those words to come out my mouth but I don't. I feel... relieved.

"You didn't have to." He says still looking at the floor.