Stay Strong (Demi Lovato fanfic)

Chapter 38

*warning*

"Come in" She said opening the door wider for me. "I guess you told her?" I shook my head as my body shook.

"Lily called her. Told her everything" I said trying not to cry. I felt my lip quiver, so I bit down on it to stop. Jennel sighed and opened her arms to hug me. I took a moment, but I walked towards them, feeling her wrap her arms around me.

"Destiny is coming in a bit. You can stay in the guest room for as long as you want." I nodded and thanked her before walking to the guest room upstairs.

I didn't come out of the room at all the rest of the night. I stayed in the room looking at the ceiling thinking about the boys and Demi. I had also thought about Lily. How much i would love to strangle her at this very moment.

"Hey, Can I come in?" I mumbled a sure and sat up on the bed and watched as Jennel entered with a tray of breakfast. "You didn't eat dinner last night, so?" She smiled trying to convince me.

"I'm good Jen. Not hungry" I half smiled. She sighed and sat the tray on the night stand. She closed the door and sat beside me taking my hand. I looked at her and gave her a small smile and looked down at my hands.

"Im worried about you. You know that, right?" I nodded. "You haven't ate or even came out of the room. You only do if you have to use the restroom" I nodded again. "I know its hard, and you feel like complete shit, but you have to eat. You have to get out and talk to me." I nodded.

"I Know" I choked. "I just lost her though" Jennel nodded. "I lost the kids. I'm probably only going to see her when I sign papers for the divorce."

"Let's not think about divorces. She might not even do that. Des left to work a couple minutes ago. Wanna watch a movie?" I shrugged playing with my fingers. "I'll take that as a yes. I'll meet you downstairs" I nodded and watched her excitedly jump out of the room.

I have to somehow see the boys. I have to try and talk to Demi. I just can't let it be the end for a stupid dumbass mistake. I just can't.

*

"So, Demi thinks you're at Lily's." I sighed as Jennel made it to my now new room of my apartment. Yup, its been a week or so that I haven't seen the boys or Demi.

"I don't blame her" I mumbled laying on my bed.

"So, she asked if Des and I, you know could watch a couple of little kids while she goes out" I shot up.

"Where are they?" I pleaded. She smiled before calling the boys in my room. They smiled when they seen me and ran their little feets towards the bed.

"Mommy!" I hugged them not wanting to release them. In the past week, they seem to have grown a few inches. I'm pretty sad about it.

"Boys" they turned to Jennel. "You can't tell Mama you saw Mommy, OK? She will get mad and not let you see her for a long time. OK?" Jennel told them.

"Secret?" Nicky asked. I held out both my pinkys nodding.

"You have to promise to keep it a secret" they smiled interlocking their pinky with mine. "I missed you"

"We missed you to" they yelled. Jennel smiled sitting on the bed with us.

"How's mama?" I asked.

"She ok. She cry, but go dancing" I looked at Alex funny, then at Jennel.

"She's ok. But she cries, and goes dancing?" Jennel asked him to see if we understood him correctly. He nodded.

"So, she forgot about me? That was fast" I mumbled. I let out a nervous laugh before putting all my attention back on the kids.

*

Its been two weeks since I asked about Demi. Its been three since I saw her. The great thing about everything, is that i get to see my boys every other day, thanks to Jennel. Downfall is, I had spent my first thanksgiving away from them.

"What's that?" Jennel whispered as we heard banging on my apartment door. I shrugged slowly walking over to the peek hole to see who it was.

"It's Demi?" I looked back at Jennel and opened the door quickly. "Demi?" She gave me a small glare before walking passed me into the apartment.

"I'll leave you guys alone. I have to go start making Dinner for Des" Jennel said and left out my apartment, leaving Demi and I alone.

"Here. I need this by the end of the month. Read it, sign it, give it back" She demanded handing me an orange looking folder.

"Your really divorcing me? Demi think of the boys? Think of-"

"Danielle, I did think about it and I think this is right. I'm not going to be that parent that forbids their kids from seeing their mom, so I'll drop them off everyday Monday through Fridays in the mornings so you can take them to school. After work I'll come by to pick them up." I stared at her in disbelief and grabbed her hand.

"Please Demetria. Please don't do this." She sighed looking at her feet. I walked colder to her only for her to walk back away from me.

"I have to go. The boys are at Dallas's" she said before she went out of my apartment.

I slammed the door and and threw the folder across the room, not caring were it landed. I raced down to the bathroom and grabbed the razor I had ready on top of the medicine cabinet.

"Demi" I whispered. I looked at the blade holding it between my fingers. "Demi!" I said louder as pounded my free hand against the sink.

Slowly, I heard the harsh horrible voices start returning to my head. They seem harsher now then I remember. I took the blade and place the sharp edge on my forearm. I let out a horrible sob as I slowly pushed it in and dragged it across my arm.

"DEMI!"

*

A/n: don't who that is in the picture, but wanted to use it so...yeah! Happy new years guys! hopefully this year is better.